Letters from the living to the living

by Anonymous

Editor’s note

This text has been OCRed and hand-corrected from the digital surrogate in Penn Libraries’ Digital Collection of British and American Fiction. The original book is held by the Kislak Center for Special Collections (Penn Libraries, University of Pennsylvania).

title page of Letters from the Living to the Living

LETTERS

FROM THE
LIVING to the LIVING,

Relating to the present TRANSACTIONS both Publick and Private.

With their several ANSWERS. Under the following Heads, Viz.

Reformation. The P— of the P–pl–r, to a City Knight, for some years since one of the Elect, but now under a State of Reprobation, &c.

Sing-song Tigellius the Yndone, the Unfortu- nate Tigellius, to his Brethen at Will’s Cof- fee-House.

Clement the Pope, to the Doge, and Republick of venice.

Mr. J— F— to Mr. J— P—

Abridgment a Booksel- ler, to Original an Author.

The Two hundred Maidens at the Bath, to the Virgins in Oxford.

The duke of Burgundy to the King of Spain.

Tom Double to his Brother Under-Spur-Leather in the Country.

John D—by, the Pharisaical Printer, to John T–d the Scribe.

From the Voluntier at St. Maries, to his Friend in London.

A Letter from a young Officer at Vigo, to his Friend at London.

Gossip Murray the pro- jector to Inquisitive Lover- News.

Written by Several Hands.

Quicquid agunt Homines, Votum, Timor, Ira, Voluptas, Guadia, Discursus, Nostri est Farrago Tibelli

Juvenal.

London, Printed in the Year 1703.

Dedication

To James Buller Esq; KNIGHT OF THE SHIRE FOR THE COUNTY OF CORNWAL.

SIR, Dedications are grown so frequent, that a Book without a Patron looks as if it did not deserve a Friend to stand by it, or its Authour was master of that Assurance to think it stood in need of none. Wherefore, as I would not be thought to behave my self

[Epistle Dedicatory.]

so Ill in the World, but to have some one left me yet to have Recourse to, so I wou’d not offer to put upon Peoples Understand- ings so much, as to give ‘em Occasion to suppose I was satisfy’d of my own Merit, or cou’d justle my seld into a Reputation without any Name for a Protection.

Mens Tongues are too Busiy with on anothers’s Characters, especially those that write themselves, or Censure those those that do, for an Author to make his appearance Unarm’d and in a De- fenceless Condition; and tho’ ‘tis out of Date for the Swords Men of this Age to make use of Seconds, it remainds in Practice, and ever will amongst the Pen- Men, to make Interest with those of Esteem and Worth to be Judges, as well as Advocates of the Cause that wou’d Miscarry without ‘em.

Not that I wou’d Entail a Quarrel on your Hands, or by Petitioning for the

[Epistle Dedicatory.] Grant of your Assistance, wou’d bring those upon your Back, that are coming upon mine. But Temples that wou’d have been Level’d with the Ground, without any Regard to the Skill of the Artist, have been left standing for the Sake of the Deities they have Consecrated to; and we that have Contributed to Furnish our this Collection for the Diver- sion of the Publick, that wou’d have no Favour shewn us our own Names, may be Compassionately Dealt withal for making use of yours.

But it may be a Surprize to you, that a Person who has been lost to your Ac- quaintance for these seven Years last past, shou’d endeavour to put you in mind of it after this manner, and that I who have had the Honour to have part of my Education under the same Roof with you, shou’d be so far a Stranger to

[Epistle Dedicatory.] the same Abilities you brought from it to make those Studies my Business, that were in those Days intended by me for my Diversion.

I Blush indeed, at the Occasions that have Estrang’d me from the Conversa- tion of those Gentlemen, who like your seld, have formerly have been pleas’d to fling away an Hour or two in my Company, and can never forgive my self the Loss of those Precious Minures that might have been Improv’d to my Great Ad- vantage, and by good Management, render’d me above the Misfortunes, those that now know me, see me per- petually Struggling with. It wou’d be Unmannerly to Reflect on those that are the Cause of it, they are too nearly Related to me to be Censur’d; and I shou’d want Charity, shou’d I endea- vour to make it appear that they wanted Mercy.

[Epistle Dedicatory.] My Business is to Ask your Acceptance of the follwoing Sheets, and be remem- bring what I am, not to dwell upon what I have been, tho’ I must not forget from thence to Crave a Title to your Patronage. A Gentleman of your Ho- nour will not lessen his Value for a Present that comes from a Hand that is Unfor- tunate, and the good Intentions of the Donor will be look’d upon, without any Reflection upon the Meanness of the Gift.

Whatever it is, it must meet with a Reception in the World, and be Rec- kon’d amongest the Current Coin of Wit, because it bears your Inscriptions; since a Name that is Endear’d to the County which takes Pride in being Represented by you; To the Senate, whose Resolutions are invigourated by your Chearful Con- currence with the rest of those Worthy Patritos, who stand by Her Sacred Ma- jesty in Defence of that Faith she has been happily Educated in; To the King-

[Epistle Dedicatory.] dom, which you are a shining Ornament to, cannot but exceedingly Diminish from its Faults, be they never so Conspicious.

But while I am making my Boasts to the World of the Knowledge I have of your Excellent Qualities, I am running into a Fault that will shew I know you not, in Trespassing upon a Temper that loses its Serenity only when we are Praising it; wherefore in Complyance with your Plea- sure, I put a stop to my own, and re- strain my self from the Persuit of a Character, which notwithstanding your unwillingness to be known for what you are, will Emblazon its own Worth; by Suscribing,

Sir, Your most Humble, Most Obedient, And most Devoted Servant.

THE PREFACE.

There had been no Occa- sion for the Gentlemen Concern’d in this Collection to pay their Respects to the Reader by way of Preface, had not eve- ry one been wanting to himself in a due Supervisal of what he submits to his or her Censure.

The Matters Treated of, are so Obnoxious to every one’s Cogni- zance, and brought into their Re- membrance by such late Occur- rences, that they have no Trou- ble flung upon their hands to Consult History, or have Recourse to Times long past, to explain the Meaning of ‘em. As for the De-

[The Preface.] sign, after that of Profiting the Bookseller and themsleves, they dare affirm it to be Honesty and not a Soul but what is under a Di- sturbance for late Disappoint- ments, and the Recovery of the Church Party in their former Esteem, will find Fault with them, they presume, on that account.

But as for their Sins both of O- mission and commission, to peak in the Language of Some people who will be Angry with them, they are Manifold, yea Multivarious; The Authors have theirs, the bookseller ought to be call’d in question for his, and they question not but from the perusal of his own, the Printer will not be angry if he c omes in for a Share of the Pub- lick Censure.

As for the first, every one that is acquainted with Affairs of two Months standing, will attest that if they are Poets, they will Scarce

[The Preface.] be Red-letter’d Men in Mr. par- tridge’s Diary alias Almanack, on account of being Prophets. The Miscarriages in Some Places where they have been almost certain of Success, will be everlasting Wit- nesses against ‘em and what has Since happen’d in one part of Spain and Italy, is a sufficient E- vidence that they knew the Meaning of the Heavens no more, than those that read ‘em know their’s, for attempting the Spirit of Prophecy.

Tho’ the same Providence that Seems to acquit the bu- siness at Cadiz, comes in for their Justification; and they that had been undone for Fortune-Tellers but for the Lucky accident at Vigo, would have been almost in the same Condition with those that came from it, but they wanted Courage to come in for part of the Plunder. But Gold and Silver

[The Preface.] are Things Foreign to Authors and Lace Coats, and Glorious Snuff Boxes, were never reckon’d a Kin to their Bodies or Fingers.

The second, which is the Book- seller, whom Authors are Tender of Disobliging, should have his Faults too made known to the Publick, but they may have Oc- casion for him again, and Men of his Profession are often Service- able to ‘em, wherefore they leave him to the Mercy of his Jury, and whatever Twelve Honest Men shall Decide in his Favour, they Shall be Joyful to Acquiesce in it.

The third and last, which is the Printer, should be left to the same Treatment, but the Reader will think ‘em Partial from the many Erratas which abound in the Body of this Volume, should they speak him Guiltless; what they have to say in his Behalf, is,

[The Preface.] That the Man is an honest Man, has the Name of a Man of Sense amongst his Neighbours, and did not suffer any thing to escape the Press without a due Correction, they durst be (worn for it. But the World is to give their Judgement of him, not they, and so they en- tirely leave him to what the World thinks of him.

It might be expected that they should plead Guilty for some Pas- sages, and cry Peccavimus, that they should fall Foul on those that have Written after the same Me- thod before ‘em, and are now Busied in writing after ‘em, but those that Read ‘em for that pur- pose will find themselves Mis- taken, and whatever Provocati- ons some amongst the Bookselling Trade may have given ‘em, it is their Destgn to Act as Gentlemen hereafter, as they hope they have Acted now.

[The Preface.] What Remains, is to beg Ex- cuse for the Letters between the King of Spain and the Duke of Burgundy, and if the Author has been too hasty in Surrendering Cadiz before the garison could be brought to beat the Chamade, or Fort Matagorda was Taken, it must be imputed to his Good Wishes which were too quick, and outran a Good Event.

To Instance in one Particular; if these Letters in General have not that Poignancy of Wit, as some that have been in the Press these Twelve Months last past, they are less Obvious on account of their Title to the Publick Re- mark, since it’s Something more easy to make the Living Episto- lize one another, than to have a Correspondence with the Dead.

Let the French Author take the Glory that belongs to the precedent he has given those Worthy Gentle-

[The Preface.] men; the Persons Cncern’d in this Collection do not in the least Envy it him, being well satisfied, if they do not come up to him in Strength of Imagination, they Sur- pass him in that of Nature which next to the Readers Satisfaction, is all they lay their Schemes for.

REFORMATION.

The Parson of P–pl–r, to a City-Knight, For some years fence one of the Elect, but now under a State of Reprobation.

Right worshipful Knight and Alderman, Having heard of your disappointment, and the Concern you lie under for the illsuceeli of your late Negotiations in the City; I could not but think myself oblig’d as a Spiritual adviser to adstiini ster fbme Confblatory Phy lick to you, in order to keep you from despair that are the very Head, Heart and Lungs of the Partji which would Soon lose the Name B of

of being Somd, Should excels of Grief impair your Constitution, or your accustom’d Health give way to the approaches of Melancholy which is it’s greatest e nemy. Take heart of Oak, I say, as Several of your Brethren have done before you, and for this once SI beseech you no more for the sake of Godliness) Set before you the Example of those who have Chiefly oppos’d you., For Instance, how often has Sr. S — D — d been repuls’d in his Attempts at the Mayoralty in the late Ileign? How many have jump’d p’rehis Head and left him below the Chair? yet neither has he defisted from his pre tenfions, nor been fb inconsiderate in his Refblves as to give himself up for lost, or to reflgn his Claim of Rights to am Honour, which his Continuance in opposing us in all Probability will one day advance him/to. Sir Jonathtin R — indeed like a Man of more Phlegm than Judgement, more Passion than Politics, flung off his Gown, and bid you chide whom you would to ride a horfe back with the I. ■.. • Brotherhood, for his Part he would h^ve no more Conversation with a Body of Sinners, that neither stood up for old Laws, j

«• «* :. _ nor were Observers of old Customs in giving the Precedency to the ‘ eldest Alderman. But this Gentleman was much in the wrong of it as to his favouring the Church Party by it. They lost a Member by the Bargain, while as i take it, Sir would be thought feme Body, jumped into his Pdace, and strengthened ours by the Accestion of a Member who was never backward in talking for usj ‘ but as busy as a Bee, and a perpetual Advocate and Solicitor for us and the Government than in being. Oh! Comfort yourself dear sird ^ with the Success that attends his Accom ^ Lite plilhments, and abate of your Sorrows for your own loss at the thoughts of his Advancement. Perfeveranee^ yea, an ob ftinate Perfiveranite m the Faith which you have hitlierto bravely adher’d to, in the doitfmek you and your worsbipfus Brethren have approv’d of from my liiouth, and attested your thanks in Print for; in the you have formerly been ajstickler for: This invaluable Gift of Per sever ance^ will change Matters for the better, and in time fb alter the very Constitution of things So as to bring ’cni bnee more to your Purpose B s If

’\ If you would Suffer a Man that has eaten Cuffard for Some years last: past with the Mayors of London for being Master of ins imomf/trahle Receipt this grand Elixir for Men of fbber Intellectuals, ^ to advise you, I say, if you will take honest Jofbms word, who never took any Parishioners’ ‘ was always for the ready Penny, not a Preshription in the world is able to Vie th this refreshing Cordial : This obstinate and ir refistable Draught of Perjeverance will accomplish your Expectations, ‘and bring you to the Poffcstion of what you are at present to Seek for.) Think of me. Sir, for I imagine I make no inconsiderable Figure in the world both in my Intellectual, and perfbnal Appearance, * if it had not been for this wholefbme Doctrine I had as fbon jostled myself into an archiepil copal See, as had this piece of Lutestring hanging down each fide of me,, I durst, have Sworn ray namesake of gre/bam couedge^ that instead of handling scotch cloth, now fall’s a Shaking of Urinals had been a Prince to me, evsh in his first Occupation, were it not for my Permanence and Constancy in pursuit of those Refqlutions, which I always follow’d and adher’d to. Had % * %

Had I ne’re oppos’d Passive Obedience never preach’d up for reftbmg the Powers, never stood to my Text in decrying the very Ordinances of a Chiirch, I % was a pretended Member of; never continued stding with the Enemies of the Hierarchy, nor oppos’d the Divine Authority of Kings at the Same time as I own’d ‘ one whole Authority was question’d, ‘’ of God’s Appointment’, where had been my Gifts and Admirers, my Tankards and Silver Spoons, my Fiocho and Title of D. D. to stamp an Imprimatur on my Sermons; my Recommendations as Chap’ lain in Ordinary to the Society of reform mers, my lebmes and Preferments? Alas nowhere 1 I tremble to think of it, I must have written myself another Luke Millbourn, AA carry’d all the Tokens of my high deserts in being a plaiofm^ tev of the Church of England But now it comes in my Head, the Ministers who then Sat at the Helm were all, or for the Generality, Gentlemen of my own Principles, I withstood no Persecutions *, was afraid of no Fire or Faggot, and had no Martyrdom in View to put me out of Love with the Doctrines I made Such a Stir about, So that it’s no ■ / great matter whether I insist any more B ^ on. ♦

on myself for an Example of that Excellent Virtue which I have propos’d to yourctmitation and Practice. We that are Dispensers of the Word, and fell Divinity by Eetale, must have fbrae regard to our Bodies as well as Souls, and I Shall not deviate from mofi of my Brethren the Clec: ^yj if I keep a little Mental Refervadcri to myself, and make my Court to the Religion that has now got the upper hand of us; iflpre tendedly join with those People that stand up for the Decency of wear mg the, ’ Surplice aild praistng the Lord with loui tuned. Infiruments: I may come to be a bi stiop by those means, and theii, Sir, you, cannot but know, that the greater Figure I make in the Church, I am enabled, and have it in my Power to do the greater harm. I can stilt under the Rose advise with hir’d Constables, give a Blesting to the Righteous undertakings of Informers, and converse Secretly with the Disaffected that are remov’d from the Lieutenancy, notwithstanding all this; and my Hypocrisy will infallibly be of more Service to the Cause, than my Integrity., since I disgrace the Church esta blifh’4 by taking it’s Habit, and reading it s Liturgy, only to serve myself. And.

I widen the Divisions that are form’d against her, by the private Cabals I enter into with her rnost profess’d Enemies. But you, Most honour’d Patron, arc. arriv’d at your Zeiiith of Power, and your Wealth So prodigiously great can Icarce Suffer an Increase, as you Act in another Sphere; lb your Actions may have a quite contrary Motion. You that are Equal to the greatest Nobleman now Living, may take the same Liberty, and publicly Show your self a murmurera Republican; a Smalh Beer Churchman, a Predestinarian or what you please, and though you have not been preordain’d to Serve in Parliament for the Year 1702, may keep to your old cut Sleeve appearance, and stand up for Doctrines you have strenuously asserted in fbme Reigns. Success is not always the Attendant of the Wife, nor is the best Man breathing certain to; be Fortunate in ev’ry Undertaking; your wor^ip had your Share of the blind goddefte’s Distributions, and you are not to Repine at the Discontinuance of her Favours. St. Jufimy A * quimsy and the rest of the father’s and Schoolmen, give Advice to the contrary. Perhaps, you’ll say, what are the father’s

and Schoolmen to a Son of Pen, Ink and Parchment? Or what Communion is there between a rich Man, and a parcel of Lean hungry Cameiions that liv’d upon the Air of Faith, and were of a Religion contrary to what you make Profession of? Upon my Veracity, I forgot, Sir, they were Papists, mere down right Sons of Antichrist; but forgetfulness I hope, is not among the unpardonable Sins, if it was, woe be to me, that have often forgot my ‘ self to be a Church of England Man, nay fbmetimes a very Christian, and to go farther, have forgot that I had a W — at home, which is the hardest thing postible to be forgotten; and which is a Mans LA / chtefest Remembrancer, a njiidst the disputes which I held amomzst the Females for their Conversion and admiffton into the Congregation of [! rue Believers. But I need not enfhrce the Doctrine of 4 Perfsvermce any longer to a Gentleman of your Kidney and Persuasion;; refer you to Baxter and Bmiyan^ to put you in Mind of the Cause you areembarqu*d in, and which, must inevitably be cast away without your utmost Endeavours who sit at the, Helm to preserve it You are the Hopes of the Party; though you have lately been baulk’d of your own

Expedations; the very Brutus of the re public to Establifli it upon it s wonted Foundation. it’s agreed by all Hands, that Riches are the Sinews of War, and they must be expended when the common Necest ficies require it. Open your Heart, your Heart then and^wear puyy^r.zuri^ firings, by continually drawing em. A Bond or two will do the Bulinefsj^ and half of one of your deepest Mortgages will bring things infallibly to bear against the next Election. Whisper about your charitable Intentions by your emissfary*s tell em you’ll build Pallaces like a certain Brother of yours, and keep to our old Maxim, that Treats make the most pro felytes, and 111 lay ray personage to an Assembly s Catechism, that we shall get t the Day at the first opportunity. In the mean time, whether IF ovfeab amongst the Society of Reformers whether 1 whisper Sedition at dicps or Gar rawa/s, whether I am made chair man at a Christening or Marriage • or put on a Melancholy appearance, as chief Comforter to the disconfblate at a Burial; the Sum of my Difeourfe shall be rending towards the Promotion of your Temporal Concerns, as for those that are Spi * rituah \

ritual, I must deal freely with you, they cannot be much amended by such an Unworthy Sinner, as is

‘ r •.. « *
« Toftr Servetntl • < t Reformation ff • • The km^ts anfwek 1 % V !Bj the firm Mand, 1 ‘ — N “■ ■■ - _ r — * i, 9 4 I ‘dobor, f FTER my Thanks for your Ad x\ vice, and the Concern you leeni to have for my not being Elected, I cannot but lend you word I have long since been Master of that Obstinacy, you take upon you to prelcribe to me; and frorn the Day of my C — — mor the Night which you please, to this very Minute, have done nothing that, made the least Appearance to the contrary. I begun to hare King Charles the Second from the fir st hour, I heard he was in Love with my W” —, and ask any one that has had any / * ft t

any knowledge of me since, if I have not continued it down, to thole that bear his Name to this very Day. I told the parson of the Parish where my Country house stands, who came to Condole with me t’other day, that he was Bopiflily affected for offering to Speak in the Praise of the Religion that has got the Uppenhand, and if I had not been afraid the Fellow *’ • I r would have complain’d, and made me ‘ leave my Estate behind me, would have laid as much of the Queen; but I had the Gift of Continence and I thank my own Prudence for it, I can tell over my Money every day, and whatever Shift I have made to get it, can say Poffestion is eleven Points of the Law, and have Courage enough to affirm, that I came honestly enough by it, and that ev’ry individual piece of Money is my own. Certainly good Doctor, your Reverend Noddle is fbmething forgetful, and you have been troubled with a Vertigo in the Brain, or you might remember what a Bustle I made about the City Charter, what Caballs I form’d against: the qm wttrrtintoy not out of Love to the City; for your Man that designs to be Rich can Love no one but himself; but out of perfect Hatred to the King

who then reign’d; and how busy I was to Form Parties against the Court Interest. King James had no more of my Affections than his Brother, and I was fb violent in my Difbbedience to him, that my Brother fvarti and I thought it high time to cross the Water; and vi sit Hogan Mogan to eat Sea cod and Pickled Herring, lest our Mouths Should be put out of Taste here, or rather for fear our Heads Should have been exalted amongst the brethren’s that kept Guard upon London^bridge ^ and our Mouths Should be no otherwise employ’d than in being made Nests for Flyes to breed in The Dutch can bear me witness, that during my stay there, I was not idle in paying my Respects to the Family of the Stuart s., and in Particular to that Branch of it that suffer’d me to make my / Eshape uripunifh’d, when he had it in his Ppwersto intercept me. I was, still whispering in their Ears how easily Presbytery might be establish’d in England., and what a trifle of an Undertaking it would be, to make it a commonwealth, and hold it’s Dependency from the sevenprovinces; I extoll’d their Rebellion, and unnatural Defectioq . * * t 4 • > i, I

Defection from their lawful Soveraigns, and made it as clear as the Sun from my Book of Accounts, that Antimonarchifts were the only Men that were able to get Money; and jmake a Nation happy. In, Short, neither Prayers or Entreaties were wanting on my part, and I cry’d out Fire where there was no Smokcj in order to call the Mob together and prepare em for a Mutiny. lean tell you thus much for myself, I was reckon’d ho Starter amongst the Burgomasters; and I had many a Merchant with a Dukes Coronet on his Coach, that came to Consult with me about the proper’st Place to Land in. People may talk as long they please of a general Invitation from the Nobility and Gentry; but I know how Mattets would have stood to this very Day, had not I bestir’d my self to a Miracle, and engag’d for Some Friends of mine in the West, who had borrow’d.money at fourteen of me, to aslist the then Prince of orat^ge, And yet it Seems, I stand in need of being recommended to make that my. Practice, which I have constantly adher’d to from the Date of my B d fell s incon tinency. 0 Tempora, 0 Mores f May I never finger Guinea or Pistol again, if it was not beneath the Gravity of a City Magistrate . I \ J / • y / / I 54 Letters from the Liyingi Magistrate to falhnto a Passion, I could be down right Angry with you. But your Zeal for the Cause has got the better of your Discretion • 1 cannot well fallout with a Man of your Principles. Prithee keep your Temper for the future, and make use of those Decorums of Speech that are due to one of nay Characters I am not at all leften’d in my Opinion of you: for your Intentions td play the Hypocrite. That excellent Virtue was coin*d on purpose for the use of the Clergy, and was a Nostrum peculiar to the Gentlemen of your Cloth, till the Lay Citizens thought you were overstocked with a Commodity of that Nature, and broke in upon you, and star’d in common With you. Religion is not the thing that I insist upon; Revenge is the Motive that pushes me forward to Support acaush that at present is under fb many Difappointmentsi and though I could not. gain the Ends I propos’d to my Selfj I have put the Church Party to an unnecessary trouble, and that s a Matter which mightily adds to my con fblation under my present want of Success, I would not, be quiet till I had a Scrutiny and since I have had it, I cannot be easy under the Advantages the three Knights that / I % J

that opposd us have had over us. As I hope to Show my Teeth, fbme years longer, and be malicious all the days of my Life, not one false Voice to be found on their fide, while our shabby List had, a World flung out for rotten Sheep in h However, you Shall find no reashif to doubt tuy Assiduity;; you but c()n tinue Preaching ‘‘to bring over the ftrayd Flock; and Till warrant. i’ll find Money to Treat ’em; let the Government take Notice if they pleash; None but poor, Dogs are hang’d, and i’ll warrant you ibme Courtier or other notwithstanding the queen’s late Declaration, will think my Money as good and paftable as any of my Predecessors of tumultuous Memory. As for my two Fellow Candidates, never fear them; i’ll give my word for their being good Men, and hearty to restore things to theirprimitivecon ftitution. One fit’s at home in his Coun ‘ trey Housh, and fall’s out with Mr. Sm Denye his Chaplain ev’ryfoot, becaush his Prayers could not prevail to keep him in his collonel’spoft. I other has lengthen’d out his Prayers to the measure of his own Ell, in hopes to call down Some Judgement on the Head of his Advershries likestwjpriefts; and like them calls out to no . 4 no Purpose. tvoes me says that inoffensive comhiander, good Sir W – – – –, ifhae never he cavd handsome Mjw again at the Head of my Regiment and what a gods name mufi be done with my fine stone^horfci that us’d to Ifjck and Qurvet with me along the Streets; and I am nothing but a Plain L’ji — n dr p r, again cries Sir. !T — and the deviha bit must I be rendered

’. • • Famous again for making Breaches in Venifbn Pafteys, or signalise ray Activity in demolishing Gooseberry Tarts or Custards, or Show my Valour in slaughtering cold Fowls t Now for fbme Church of England Plot or other, we must make one ourselves for em, or we have no other hdpes ever to come into Play again Believe me, Levite, Such words as these are no bad Items of their diffatif faction, and that Party can never be accounted inconstderable that hath three such Collonels at the Head of it. As for my own Part, the remembrance of King Charles his inviting himself to my house, will stick by me, while there is a Horn to be seen in the New foreland I dare engage for my two Fellow Sufferers, they’ll stand to the Text, as long as Wavel has Permistion to Preach at pinnerj haei \

t. ‘■ * — ‘S’; has or Dtjfenters gather together in Jewin jlreet^ ov IX Londoi$ fioney which t pry may he ever; and am persuaded a Man of your unsuperftitious counte nance will not be wanting in Saying a Ibng ametjy to toffps, cc. A’ ■ - < - V sing fong tigelhus the Undone the Unfortunate Tigellius, to his brethren at Will’s c6ffee» House *•. * \ …, ^ • ~ T cpiij’ ~~ / ‘ ^ 7 A S ever fiich damn’d Fortune f V V May everything I write be hist’d to Eterhity, if I am not the veriest block head this Day upon Earth. I must pick up a Whore t’other day, with a Pox to her, must I? as if Muftdora was liot Wh — r’ enough a conscience to serve my Turn. Oh 1 I arn lost for ever 1 what dd 1 Say; I am lost? No, Something of ten times the value of your, poor Difconfblate Brother is gone,, I arii i \ \ $ \ , t « N , I < ►» afraid beyond Redemption. A Side bni? mafque^ a Pefttlence take Her, must needs launch out in the praise of my Lantern jaws, commend my Nose, pretend a great Veneration for my Understanding, and I in return make the best of my way to the fieece^ with this Fe – lonious Numerical Creature in my hand, and up one Pair of Stairs by way ofre turn to her Compliment, I give her a Salute upon the Back of a Chair, and lose my Pocket Book? And what of all this stir ’about stich a Trife, Perhaps Some amongst you may (ay? There werd. no Mortgages no Or Bonds, and Judgments in it, htit .4 farcel of Memorandum s like that of the siturb – – - (who like you Comniands one of Her Majejly s Sixth Rate poetl cal Frigates where nothing elfe is Pend (downy than where fnch a Lady of Pleasure keeps her Place of Abode, and by which of her Names (he will pie afe to receive a vi’ ft from you at the time appointed But, you are all in the wrong of it; I dread to (peak it, neverman lost Such a parcel of choice Sentences all at once, in the twinkling of an Eye, fincethe Creation, ill the witty Sayings that the Beaux at White’s, or St. James’s Chocolate house ever utt’red|all the Pith that ever fell from V • . yotrr.

your astembly, all the Marrow of Dili course from garrawais to the rpmbcn\ every material Pun or Quibble that ever drop’d from the mouth of Swats or Daniel Purcel^ are lost, Irretrievably lost for my use; and this Female Goth this abominable Vandal has by diving into ray ac curled Pocket,, that had no more than Three and Sixpence in ir, to stay her Stomach, made a Second Irruption intq the Seat of the Liberal Arts and Sciences, and carry’d away Ingenuity like her old Forefathers of unlucky Memory along with her.

i A Vandal she muftbe that’^ for certain, one that had suck’d in an Aversion I ‘ ‘ ‘ ^ to Learning with her Mother s Milk, oy Ihe had before this time reftor*d this excellent treasure, this grand Repository, and Magazine of all that .was needful by way of Speech, or agreeable by way of writing, j Wicherley s congrevpf.f Cheeiis, dennip% titcomps., sackvilisy and all the fine Flourishes, I bought the Book a purpose for, are hurried out of my Remembrance; and how the Devil lean Subfift anymorcybeing now left upon my own Bottom, I can’t tell for tha^ heart of me. Who v^iill, may write Play s for me for the future - I can’t mdicbrick C 2 without: 1 y without Straw, no more than the Children of l[raely and must shut up Shop having lost my Materials, and been depriv’d of those necessary Astistances, I have all along made use of. This Brain of mine, is a Brain of no Short standing, I has had a long time to evaporate, Gentlemen,, and I am Somewhat stricken in years, the Women tell my, arid there must needs be a Decay amidst the Animal Spirits after a Man has got the upper hand of Fifty. Confider likewise how rnany Voluriies go under my Name what a number of Rheams the Pastry Cooks have taken off my Booksellers hands, and bow Serviceable I have been to the Public, in making ’emmerry with my Funeral Poems, and Sleepy at the re hearsal of my strains, and you will think your Stives fbmewhat oblig’d to stand by me with your Auxiliary Intellectuals, and prop up a Falling metn .•ber of your flourishing Society, with thole Supporters of Cbnverfation that are necessary to keep up his Head above Water. suppose I Should go arid Sing a Song or two to Some C’ui tier or other, for heav’n know s, that is the only way of iitserance that is left me, in order to procure »

procure Her majesty’s Letters Patent for a General Collection. Many a pretended Conflagration has not deserv’d a Brkf Talf fb much as I do, and though my Poetical Fire has not been over furious, yet in burning upwards of Thirty years’ together, it cannot but be accounted very Destructive. In Short, whether you are Wits or no Wits, Phyflcians or no Physicians, play wriglns or no playwrights,, or no Gamesters, You have gi V n one another the Title of fiich, and must stand by what is of your own Creation. Poor Jigellius makes his humble Request to you, that the Dog days may have Ibme Effect on you, and melt you into Some compassonate Refblution in his Favour, your Brains must needs drip this hot Weather, if they have any Mbisture in, em, and certainly you will not refute me the Benefit of ev’ry Sorry Cook, to skim up the Fat to Lard my lean ek preflions with ^ largely dear 5irsi or my Loss ■will be irreparable, for I had glean’d every Coffee houte where a Jest was to be found, and taken Notes from every Tavern that had either quick Repartee, or pat Question heard in it, I had Solicited every Pealer in Verse for a Simile, and. C I ‘ ‘ “ madq V

I ■ ■ ■ * ‘ / ^ y%i • ‘i ‘. 22 letters from theitvmv V • > T ‘;. ‘ ■ ‘’’“V jnadfe my Addresses to every individiia! Pretender to Sense, for an Offal or twoj, a Cast Scrap of Latin to Set me up amongst the class of the Learned, and make me look Something bigger thaii those that keep Company with the Minor Poets, at the jrcife Coffeehouse. But alas to what Purpose?? Friends had scarce equip’d me; but this Bane to Society, this Female Rapparee, this Bitch bf a Barhn, run engages me, win s the Field, takes my Cannon and marches off with my Big and Baggage, my Three and Sixpence, and my ammumiww onapro^ Book’ ‘very Thought of it is inhuppor table, and I am ready to die for Grief at the mention of it. Alas! Poor Tigellms! not four and twenty hours (ince, he had ‘ Hs Ipse Dixit y was furnishd with yaiia ejl Aka., was Master of his Veni vid.i^vm, tq have recourse to, to prove hini a Scholar 5 and Prohatam ‘ efi to assist him in his Controversies with his Land lady, and how hes without fb much as a Morsel of Laiin^ or for the Vulgar to Swallow, or to bring him into Repute ^ ^ by it’s appearance on the Title Page. And what adds even to his extremest Sorrow, his Works which have been ite; fubfcribil I \ ■/ e. •. I

fubfcrib’d to by the Nobility and Gentry, if ever he Should get Money enough to pay for Paper and Print, which he very much doubts, after this Disappointment, must Show themselves naked to the Eves -, J of the World without a Motto, without a Recommendation fresh Some old Hea» • « \, 0 then Author or other to Speak in their Behalf. Judge therefore whether it would be for the Honour of the Stage, or the good of the Commonwealth of ry, that a Perfbn who has fb often fignah2, T himself on it, has had the Courage to w - • engage with Mr, cn///>r, and huff Re ligion out of Doors, Should be brouy it t > such alow Ebb, as to be disabled to n e future from rising any higher, than lun of Croyden, or the Wejiem Laji y notwithstanding he has always profesied himself > - - ✓ Servant m.d. eetiowaanfnt^ - i.. f. ‘ C y / I -7 ^ 1 of parnasfus,

W received Yours, and after an hour or two’s Debate it was carried in the Affirmative, that you might have Liberty to come amongst us; and Cull out any Sentence that Should be most fitting for, your Pur posh, and most, likely to repair your late Lost; though you will hardly have the Success you may proposh to your shlf from it; unless you are for drawing the chara^er of Sir H — D — C — with a Box and Dice in his hand, or enlightening your tfnderstanding with the Terms at pick quet, or Ombre; for the Times are elaps’d now, in which we cenfiir’d the Andentiy and call’d the Moderns to account. We have a shur Fellow or two \ indeed with us,” that ’ get into a Corner by thera’shlves; and Arraign ev’ry body’s Works at the Bar, but thosh of their own Complexion Pad they any Money they would play at Cards and Dice too %

hut it’s no Wonder to See Critics Peiinyi iefs, when the Poets themselves that furnish em with Subjects make it appear thktpaffjajfus has no Alliance with and Peru A Plague take the stuttering Dog, let him Travel to recruit his Wit as I have done, said good natur’d Mr. D —, and if he has stich an Ambition for Scraps of Latin, go fetch em from whence the Language first took it’s Rise : are we oblig’d to Set up every broken Fellow that would never Thrive if he had the I Vatican in his Pocket? Why Latin? (ay’s an old Crony of his, and who is always Scjfatchmg him to be scratejii again, ^ the Purity Of that Tongue is extinct, and Fremh in my Opinion has got the upper hand of it : Methinks, our Neighbour, might venture to make use of a flourish in Greek, and I conlii be his humble Servant, having myself taken upon me to translate Anacreon., without being found out for one that did not un ^ derstandhim. In fine good Brother every Creature amongst us has past Sentence upon your Misfortunes; fbmehavo given their Opinion; that is, thofb who could not, but would be thought capable of aflisting you, that you was a Master

. t t • A I • i \ \ Letters from the %h>tngl , !ler of Such an inviiidble Ignorance, fact an irrefragable Stupidity, as not tohav^ the Faculty of digesting what Should be intended for your Instruction Others drop’d many a witty thing to be inserted In your next Common vuee Book, and your old Friend Mr.’ – – – - — was as full of Pity; and as Communicative as ever Chintt ivare and Muzlm could make him. I have it, I have it, fay’s a certain red fac’d Acquaintance of yours, th is comes of Whoring, I II chastise him after the Divine Horace his way of Expresting himself, and put him in mind of keeping Company with young womeua 9 Maturo Prop lor Define Tuner & Interludere Virg ines^ And \yas about to go on with it, tih he was told you did not love Porters Work, and that your light finger’d Harlot was a Covent Garden Offender, with a White. Chapel Virginity. When in comes Mr. B— — having perus’d your lamentable Epistle takes Pen in hand, and after writing down fbme Confblatory motto’s for your Relief, be wail’s your Misfortunes in the following Lines., is % I ♦ 1 . ‘ ’ ‘ -■ - ■ 9 ‘ ‘^0 th Living ■ * then Dnhappy Tigcl broke And robed of e’tbt’y Gritty Joke Bitch that Div d into his Ppkel The Plagues of ^gypt take her; ;. i t {jonjunlfiony Adverb, prepophonl ‘ iielp him in this Por lorn €, ondition\ , And AH the Part of a phy^elan To save the Ballad Maker

. ‘• Pity to the foor Soul afford, % • ‘ » pvho mup: no morje Address my Loyd’ ‘’ ‘ ‘■■■’ sit down at my Lady s Board, If not relieii d in Difirefs 5 f) ‘ ‘Far ‘ to be serious and be “rief; This Mortal of a false Belief 4 S _ Had not the Wit to know a Tliicf^ Prom A delicious Miftrefsy • * -. ‘ 4 • / ■ i # / Who like A Jilting Harlot took. Pojfeffion of his Pocket Book, As with a Cnrfed whorifb Look, ontnxkey Chair she laid her \

—. \

- /. « f 9 V

/ « Bond and Billy and note Would buy nent Qoivn and Petticoaty k^pt S — ing on like any Stoaty Ads good old Nicholas made her, I Stop Thief ye Sons of Phoebus Cry, And search about as well as ly if you can any way espy This Sinnery false and qmeu That of infatiahle Dejirey r Thd warmed and Jheated by his fires arced off from the Poetiek Squire, ’ dnd carryld off hii PX

AS for the vt2tve\nv[i you I Enjoyy Eachy Aany or Iffomany Girl, or Boy; if Fortune don t his Hopes defiroy * •• By chame that lights uppn her – a Shall be rewarded I dare fapy When ere he writes another piayf / Cir has full Audience on Third Dayas he s a Man of Honour. f Perhap} I • ^ \ I •s. j. r. V V \ aotheltnjmg. ‘M. \ « Perhaps some People may Despair Of Recompense that suits their Qar^ And probably the Search forbear > Because \ Word for him..

i % _ \ But Tigel has a Soul God knows Above his humble Verse or Prose, As may be Gather d from his Clothesf VU say that and atnrd for hims

\ Whoever therefore shall difcovet This silting Baggage of a Lovet^ That Justice Pike may bind her Ovetf To Appear before her Betters / have as good a Gift as Can Be given for a Hurridan, By any moderate sort of Man % Like him a Man of Letters t. ‘ The Three and Sixpence is their Owns Provided he or (he make known A What Place or Corner r>f the Town « Aliy, Street, or Nook Sirs ■ •. V i \ / / • * ‘ ■ i ^ * • •.. *

r r / ‘. ‘ io tatters from the layingl I . ‘■ i Contains his Magazine of Senfc, And Troth Till [wear wi thout Offence • • ‘. Could 1 once Finger hut the Pence ^ The De el might take the Book sirso .e’ ‘ ■ *

’ ‘; ■ * , How you may relish your Friends finglishwe cannot tellibut you must needs approve of thelatine, he has defisd us to enclose with it, especially Since you will So readily understand it. Nequid Nimisj and ultra are two excellent Memoranda for your confola tion under your immoderate Grief, and there is nothing like Omnia Vincit amor to excuse the Occasions of your Lost, and mollifie the Cenfiire you may fall under, for giving way to your lustful Desires. woman’s Flesh is highly approv’d at our Choicest Entertainments, and there is not one Perfbn among our whole Set, except Two or Three that are clap’t, and a Superannuated Fornicator but holds you excus’d, and forgives you from his very Soul 1 \ \
• \ , * F ‘ \ * LI • - ^ •? . But Dear Tigel; look to your Pockets, with more Circumspection Tor the fu turejtor ev’ry individual Wit amongst us

\ t tis grows older and older ev’ry dayj and you and the rest of the Hangers on, that are perpetually Teasing the Fraternity forsupplys, have squeez’d us fb dry that we Shall be altogether Exhausted, and Shall not have a Witty Saying left us, to divert us at Cards, if you come So hard upon us. What you have by this Post will serve you for Some time : no matter for the Subscription Book of your Works, you are not the first that has play’d the wiseman in putting upon those that had Money y Since you None and getting a Couple of Guineas apeice from a Parcel of rich Noblemen can never arise to High Treason. We applaud you for that excellent Contrivance, and who knows but you may be admitted, as a Sharer in our Society, could you think of another to match it, and once more gain the good Opinion of,

• Tour Friends to Serve you bcc. A.B.C.D.
t. Clement • f % / % “i, i \ f

h. ^ Clement the Pope to the dog^j and Republic of Venice. ‘‘5 •. r’ 4 - ‘v; « ■: ■ t By y S. Efqj / b Mofi Serene Son and uefublicks WE receiv’d yours by the hands of your Jmbaffador j and are extremely concern’d ac the Contents of it. As we never were Sparing of our Fatherly Benedidion; fb we Shall not be wanting in our Advicp to Support the Grandeur of So flourishing a Republic. We ourselves, notwithstanding our boasted Infallibility have been at our ‘ Wits end, how to behave ourselves at this Juncture, and it was Ten to one but our, Holynefs had .declar’d in Favour of one fide or t’other^ had not Cardinal Four bin ^ and Count Lamberg been equally pressing to us on the Part of their respective ma/lers^ and threatened us with Fire and Sword in opposition SO our Bef Book, and Cdndle^ Should ( ‘ % ♦ # To iht Living. J h ‘ we take Refbliuions contrary to thelif several Interests. . >• must Confess indeed the Premh King had stiewn himself Such a true Son of the Church by his Treatment of the liugemts^ and his stncere Endeavours to bring’em over to the Profestion of our Holy Faith, that he could not but lean towards his stde^ and be much inclin’d to receive his grandsorl’s Pad nstg, but that Termagtmt of a German has put us into fiich a Fright by his Threats, that not a Soul about us can talk of a Jemet, but we are Fallible and r, ekdy to drop but of our apfiou’td Chair However Reports tell us, the French, and Sfaniards in Italy are much Superior in number to the Imperialijit^ and i^hd Practice of the World cautiod’s us not 4 to break with the fide that is strongest. It behoves us therefore, while we are not in a Condition to Act as we Would, to do slsrwq Cdn^ anddistemble our re ientmedt till a fitting Occasion puts it in our Power to Show it, • It must be acknowledged, tliq Fremh Demean them selves very Scutvily, .in your.seas;,;, and D carry # ^ 34 Letters from the lbihg^ carry it very haughtily, notwithstanding your mernoruls at the ‘ Court of Ver failes. But you are to Confider, how V near they are to your Territories by Land, as well as Sea, and how ready they are to lay hold on the first Opportunity that Offer s itself, for their Advantage. lewis’klv* is more Knave than Fool, if you’ll take our Sacerdotal Word and his not long since he frighted one of our Doly Predecessors into a Hit of an Jpfoplexy.^ on Account of his Refolutiort V to assert the Rights of the Gallican AAMV. Church’ ‘<* ’ - -

•. 1 -. ir Alas, Most Serene Doge and noble Senators, evvy Man breathing ought to have a tender respect for his own Flesh;; we dive in an Age where Martyrdom IS grown out of Date, especially amongst the Clergy of our profejjtom Bombsy and Red hofbtius are things irre fistible, and our Eptfcopal Bullets at jvig niony are of more strength and Force than our Bulls from the Vatican We must disguise our Thoughts till fonie Advantage on either fide gives us Leave to explain’em, and its our Advice, that you make ule of Remonstrances instead of repelling Force by force, till the M perialtfis s ■( $ ‘ ^ 9 ¥ ¥ r 7^ the lm)ingi IS feruufi are on the strongest fide of the Hedge, and the Engltjh Fleet rides dt Anchor in the Meitterfmem, » i ‘ ‘ V ■ ^ i, ,, can Scarce hanie thole Hereticki without the extreathest Griefj we dream of em ev ry Night, and stgh at the very Thoughts of’enievry Moment. How happy were our Ancestors before tbit Rebel to the romansce, he/irfvlllth^^ hook off our Sttpretfuacy^ and despi^’d the Commands of our Sacred College. Dur Afitithemd s have since not been re garded, and our Ptfctttorid Sigftet ha been of no more effect, than an ordi nary Maifs Cjpher. 4 f I We could curse erii to the bottorti less Pit; shut the Infidels hate no opinion of Church otimnation., and arc con founded Dons at banding their Svords and mttjqd.ets We have done What we Could since our Election to the Chair have lent nuktid.s to all cathouck prince’s Courts have perswaded ’em to con fedefare amongst themfelvesyand forget their ^owri private peilentiohs, to bring burr Comrhunion into that Nation, by restoring their Abdicated Prince and his Fafhlly t btlc might as well have talk’d ■ A ft ^ 0 / 0 56 Letters from theli<ving] 0 talk’d to the Winds, or laid our Commands on the Elements to Combine a gainst them. Old leoyou^ and the p^r tiz, ms of the House of Julfria would hot be trick’d out of their Pretensions, and the Prince then in postelson of th Throne had too long a Head for the whole College of Cardinals I The Princess now Reigning has ef potis’d the fanie Cause; and we and the whole Confistory have had it under our Consideration, whether it was not more Advifeable to tuin proiejlants for a little while, rather than lost the Benefits of lib Fata Pontificate. Since a Courief has just brought us word, that the Land Forces are embarqu’d and under Sail, and the whole Fleet has been Seen off Cape pinibre* Va, Nobisy if they are suffer’d to Pals the Straights; My apojlo lied Heart goes a pita pat; and our Or ahodox Breech has already made Buttons at the Relation of it : What will become of our fine Works, at Nefftmo^ or ourexquifite Buildings at ctvttavechia, Impius hac tarn Cult a Nov alia miles ha ‘ hebit f No certainly, \ Italians have hot forgot the Vrt of Flattery, and the Sacred College have not lost the valud for I V \ for the great Duty of Self prelerv^tion • We need not turn protciitmts. which our holyness should have boggled at for Sometime, now it comes into om Sacred Noddle for the Emperor being Head of the Grand Confederacy will protect us in our wonted Worship, and secure lis from those Spiritual confliiisy we stiould otherwish labour under. V • % *., A I Amidst two Evils therefore, it is but necessary your most Serene State., as well as our apofioucd Suhjefis Should chute the least; and though we have Acted hitherto in Defiance of the Empcrotir., and Complemented the young King of Spain with a world of Bawbles and In dulgemesy by the Hands of our Legate a Later, we have given Orders to our cardinalpamphilio to provide all things necessary for the Reception of the Confederate Fleet in our Harbours. What if they are Heretics? They are too strong for us to oppose, and we must yield to what has been put in Practice the laflwar by one of our prede ceffors, since we Shall nor be the first Pope that has been found in the’ Prote fiant. Intereji; as Innocent xith. could inform us, if he was here in your Land of the Living. 1^ 3

If you would follow the Dictates we prefqribe to you, you muss conceal your resetitments till their Arrival in your as, left xhq Comt If tkahu^fe fhoulcl, fall upon you, and force you to e^uk your Neutrality; i»at your own Prudence will direct you to take a Course lukaue to your pucumftances; fb we you our apiiolkd Bfmdifiiony and give pray God to keep you in his Holy Prb fe^ioni ‘ ‘ . \ • fmnuffder; our fi/catm4 Clement • s^ai in the d. Tear of our j kiing sid ia ih^ Tapaoy. Lowers,

» he Doge and Republics Answer

4 * ) jo io Father _ _ ^ After prostrating our stives at your holynejfes^s Feet, in return to the Obligation you have laid upon us, hy your Gracious Condestention in, giving’ us Advice at this juncture; we cannot but make known to yonr holy nefs^ the Resolutions we have t ken at the Receipt of your Holyneffeis L ^tter. I Wehave joyntly confiderm, aad unanimously refblv’d, That by Several Bulls from your predecessors of everlasting Memory, the Sea is our Wise, and that we have espous’d her time out of Mind annually, to make her more sure to us, with a Rwg, which is the Symbol of Marriage; and Should we not be jealous of that Freedom which the D 4* French

Wrench Stallions take with her, we Should pot deserve the Name of Italians or think our stives Worthy of bieathirig that Air, we are still under the happy ^ Enjoyment of. ♦ * ♦ - They have nptonlylaid our Lands waste, which are near their Armies in Terra Firma, but have seiz’d on our Shipping, and under Pretence of Contraband Goods, have plunder’d the esspectsof our Subjects; and upon Applitation made to the French Court, we have receiv’d no other Answer than that they approy d of, the Chevalier Fourbins Pr ceedings*’ An Answer that Siifliciently ball’s for our Restntment, which we had before Shown, had we not had a Ff ud Deference for your Paternal Advice, and thought it needful to make our V, … V •>kmj U ‘ addrefses to you for the Grant of it, % its manifest that their Forces are very numerous, and not to be driven back from the Posts they have taken, without.’equal Preparations on the fide of our rfpubli^k.; but yet thest very Armies, thest Troops compos’d of Che Piower of; the two greatest Mbnarchs fe’tfc world, ’have not yet been able C V ■, i. : ■ ‘t

t V ‘vi.. ‘ \ I. • • • I

# to drive a Handful of Germans in refpe<^ of their s out of the Provinces they lay Giaim to. ) Their iqng himself is nwo at their Head, and a Marshal of France, that before this War drove all his Enemies before him; yet we have been almost eye witneffes of onemarefchat France, his being made Prisoner in the midfi of his own Battalions, and ‘ another as’ near a Seizure as could be ‘wliife asleep, and under a Strong Guard in his Headquarters * are over joyed that your hol/ nejfes^s Refblutions do not run Counter ^ to ours, and that your Fatherly Example to provide for the Security f yourself, and the’flock committed to your Charge bears a Resemblance of that, which we are now ready to give to th other Potentates oi Italy, But v^e must Acquaint your Holynefsy That though 2iffairs are uncertain now, and the Ger~ plans lye Entrenched without their Recruits \ we ‘had before Sent our Envoy Extraordinary into England, to concert Measures with that Kingdom for the cgm^ mon Safety .S Let ’em gonseis ‘hat Dd.* ir ■ ‘ • Brines V * t 0 4 \ ■ ^ * 42 Letters from the Lblng, brines they please, they have no Intentions to disturb us in our Devotions, and the French King himself is a Prestdent for us to join with a Monarch of another perfwaston. ‘ V > He had Recourie to the Common ‘> Enemy of Christendom, an Infidel a barian, one that opposed our saviour’s dobrines, but we join ourselves with a chrijtun Nation that has all along been for the Ref ofe dt Eur of and stood s Arbiter of Peace and ivar. These are for doing Right, and Sufforting the Cause of injured Princes; but those to whose Side your Highness Hems inclinable, 2ivt trmebreakersypublickrohr her Si and Injurious to everything that is and Lawful and we must ask your Afofiolical Forgivenefsfii we give you to understand we took the Liberty to make Friends with Heretics whole Faith may be relied on, rather than place our Confidence in a Nation that has none, though tis govern’d by one who inherits the Title of Most Chrifiian from the Grant of your predeceftors, and are under an Impatience for the Arrival of thole Two Powerful Fleets j that are d aily expected. ‘ The I To the Liyingi 4j The Prince whom they are lent out in Vindication of, is of the same Religion with our selves, and it is not our Bufineis now to confider, whether we are to be Saved by a proteuanty cr a Ror man Catholic Sword, since Salvation is all the same, let it come whence it will, and it matters not what Corner of the World it comes from, or what Wind K. ^, blows it, provided we receive the be nefit of it. They’ll restore us the sove raignty of the Adriatkk, which is our > lawful Spouse again, and that’s a Blesting we Petition for next, to your holyneffes^s Benediction, which is Humbly defir’d by, Mofi Holy Fathery % \ lour holyneftes’j Sons, and Mofi Obedient Servants % with our Ducal *jfjjg Doge, and Signet and Seal of ii ^ • ear Republic; - Republic of Venice’

brother P — ✓’ # WHAT do you think a Rogue of a Bayliff did to me, t other day? May I never handle dalton’s Jufiice 4 gain, or turn over Cock upon Littlpon^ for a dalf Crown See at Hicks s hau 5 if I was ever trick’d foin all my Life time before. You are sensible most of us 1 jujhces in the late Reign, Were not Famous for being Men of the Urgefi Efiatesy though we might have as large Confeiencss, for all that I know, as any that evdr had a disconfblate Whore, or melancholy culpat before him * and I ^ among the rest, though a Student in the Law and call’d to the Bar, had not got fo much Money by my Practice, as to be plac’d with your Finches and Powife s, your Harcourts and Northeys^ and the rest of the Pur chasers I don’^ mention % 1 ‘■ \ 1 ‘ /. ) • \ \ f ‘ • I TA) the lismg. 4 f mention this, as if I would have you suppose I had not fb muchl^n? in my Head as the Befl of ’em, but I had not the same Bufinefe, though in the few Causes I was fee’d in, I was Master of the same Suecefs. X 1 ¥ j But having a Generosity, that is peculiar to the Family I am Descended from, and a Spirit equal to those Noble Ancestors, from whom I boast my Original, I was forc’d to run a Score like the rest of the Gentlemen of Birth and Quaiity,, and my Creditors not being able to take Fair Promtfes instead of Ready Money e’en took a Refblution to apply themselves to the Shoulder dabbers^ and had several Writs out against me. \ % Now, these are a sort of Vermin, ’ you know as experimentaly as my self, that make no Distinction of per fbns, but are as ready to Attack a Minister of State, provided, he is not pri viledg’d, nay much readier than one of the poorest Employment; and I prudently kept within the Confines of my own House, well knowing they had a more than ordinary aversionfor me, that had Shown mine to them, ‘ by fending^ihiiany a Set

a Setter and bis Dog to the Gatehoufel and Prifohs adjacent. Wherefore T thade use of all the cau tiph iniaginable. Seldom ftep’d out to visit our All’fours g!ub mmttre court^ov stir’d from itiv own House, evsh (b much as at Sessions time, without sending my Servant out first locast an Eye upon the Avemesy and find out a Flace convenient to make a Sally at, which turn’d much to niy Debt iiiient, and the great Loss of time to those that lay in Wait for me. V At last, as ill Fortune would have it who but a Constable and his Gang with a Prifbner, Should be brought before tie; in comes Mr.scare croio and his Follower, and mix’d themselves with the rest of the
Mobb, that made Inquisition for Justice? and after I had dismifs’d the perlbnac

cus’d, and taken Five Shillings for the poor from him; and according to Laudable Custom, order’d him to pav my Clerk a Shilling for his Discharge, when the De— — a Bit of Ink or Paper had he Spent to Deserve it Up coriies the Rascal of a Bum, and told me he had a Word or Twc with me. i took him’ immediate ]f 0

ly for one of my Creditors, and defir’d him t0 cas agam another time; but his Business was very Vrgent, he Said, and Whifpefd me in the Ear he had a h^rit dgainfi me. How! Tonne dog, cry’d I? Tou are mifiaken in your Man, you (ball say for this Affront to one of his Maje fiys justices of the Peace. If we mufl say, we muh, reply d Saufe Box with his Tipstaff, but you are like to Pay the Debt or find Bayl before we fart with you. • » « With that I began to Tongue pad ’em, and make use of my Rhetoric, to dissuade ’em from executing the W rit, as if I had just then receiv’d half a Crown in Hand, and was Showing my Parts to let my Client see what I deferv’d; but they were inexorable without a Guinea forbearance Money, and the whole Debt being but Forty odd Shillingsj I made a Shift to raise the Sum and turn them out of doorsj and threaten’d to be even with the Rashally Fraternity, when the next Riot Should happen in May fair* But would you believe it, Brother of mine i these Vallains have So little a Regard for my Ofhce or Quality, and stand in t * s ^ L ■ N * I / y 4^, Letters froth the Lhing] • * id So little Fear of the Authority I am invested with, that they are perpetually upon the Hunt after me, and Someone i other of this beastly Herd, and their Difcipks are inquiring after me, So that I am now forced to keep upstairs,, and bear the Fatigue of my Mad con verfation, without having the = Satisfa^ ^ ction of sending one of ’em to Gaol • or making good the Threats 1 have made . use of against em : Infbmuch that I .1 ^ must make it my request to you, that ‘ you would vindicate the Honour of the Middlesex Lieutenancy, and take the Part of, a Gentleman who has executed bis Commistion with as much Zeal, and Impertinence as the Best of em all. i I fuppose your Affairs are of late Years recover’d from lying at sixe’s arid Sevens, and that it is no manner of presumption in you to pass through clre Market; and Face the Men eaters at the Red Lyoti and White Swan., I am Sure had j been in the Commistion of the Peace fblong, I stiould, and before this time had Sent ev’ry individual Sinner under Lock and Key, for I had infallibly got a handsoiile Estate by this time. If 1 4 ■ ‘ To the thing, 49 i If you dare be fb valiant at the Head of your Informers, and hir‘d constab!es> Prithee pick up a leesli of ’em or two for my sake; their moneys as good for yourkinfmanata — jv Pr —; >?, as thebest, and will pafs off at the jerufaiem Tavetfi as Current any. As the Whores have christen’d you by the Name of Numle^ be fb kind as to give occasion to the Bajtliffs alfb to Nicknkme yoii. i / ‘ •. - ■ ^ % • • , Grant a Gestation of Arms for a while, to the Feiilale District of Covent Garden Charing Croft and St. g/7^/’s, and let the Courts in Drury Lanie be peopl’d once more; that the Tenants may be able to pay their Rents to their respective Land lords. Draw your Hounds off from it ^ their Old Scent for once, and (though it is not huntfman like.j> Put em upon a Netp one. Mr. Bum will make you i A ‘ ^ ^ much Sport as Mrs. Brim and will be withoiit all manner of (^estion more ^ble to pay for his Discharge and other, Contingehees, than any Strumpet of ’em all: you’ll have no Importunities for Their Release from any Gentleman whatfb |yer, ‘ as you are perpetually tyr d i\dth • fd th’^ oth^rl / 6irt wlialeyer ou Gftie « ‘ / 4 t f / 50 titters from the liymgy V from ’em, will have the appearance of (ince you do but by then) as they Practice by others. You need not doubt, but your Comply ance with my Request, Shall be answered wdth mine to your’s in Cafes of the like Nature as fboh as I Shall be able I, to apj ear abroad again — But now I think ^ of it, i’m told the Lieutenancies about the whole Kingdom are upon the Point of being alter’d, and I question whether either of us have Interest enough with my Lord k.~p — r to be kept in gom mistion., No Promises Shall be wanting on my Side to continue in my Post; and you have So long experienced the Profits of it, that I have no reafbn to question your Alfiduity in avoiding being turn’d out, tho’ Friend, between you and me, if Fortune Should Favour us, We must Act a ‘ little more closely in Justiciary Affairs ‘ than we have done, or we Shall certainly fall under the gensure of the present Ministry X I had like to have made a wrong stepped other day, and appear’d too Of en/y, on account of a Ballad that was made in Praish y ‘

fraife of the Queen, and the establish’d Religion; adzooks had I. Forgn honest Non qony one of my intimate Friends, and belonging to: our Club in Mitre court.^ made his Complaints to me of bdng ruridownin it; whereupon I took upon me to Send for the prih r<rr, who belong’d not to my Precincts, to a Coffeehouse in his own; and having school’d him severely for his Impudence in running down a Religion which was tolerated by Law, told him, I was one of Her majesty’s Justices; I know that, said the Printer but not to call Citizens into question : We have Magistrates q dur own, and if you deferv’d to be continu’d in commifsipn, you would be altogether on the fide of that Religon which is in particular Esteem with the Queen, by whole Permission you are futfer’d to talk thus arrogantly, I Shall remember the Rogue for his ‘ Answer, if it lies in my Power, and hope it has hot taken Wind So far, as to reach the Court! If it Should, Heaven s take care of rhy Poor Soul; for, if once put of the Commifiion of the Peace, ho Should I provide for this Earthly E i Body /

■ \ Body of mine, he only knows that made it. lam \ Brother I Tour Servant and tetow magiftratcj \ bufyf i \ ….. ■. .j -.

I ■} I Mr. y ^ce P — s Anfwef. the same Hand, ; I have as little Respect for thescouis drellsyou complain of, as any Magistrate living, but you must hold me excus’d; if I keep on jogging in the i beaten way I have trod ever stnce the Date of my Commistion. Leave a Whore for a Baylif? A fine Exchange indeed! Why Man, thou dost not know the agreeable Office I stand already poltefs’d of, if thou didst, thou wouldst never make ‘ % A % \ \

’ t 4 t I i # , 4 4 % i / j % To the li^ingl 5? make Application to me to desist from the Duties of it. God take me, I Should wheeze like an old Ptifical Alderman, Should I neglect taking my Rounds for one day, and my Wife would be forc’d to put up Bills in our Parifih Church for the Recovery of my lost Health for the least Omission. Besides my Kinstnan, who is my Goal Keeper in ordinary, cannot bear the Sight of Such Fellows as you desire me to Send to him, and I would not for all the World he Should play the Fool and die with Conceit, before I have enabled him by a Million or two more Commitments, to leave his Wife an ‘ Estate answerable to the Pride of her Temper, and the Ambition She has of being reckon’d amongst those Widows that are Courted for their Money, as well as cr ^ 4 ^ ^eauty, and personal Acquirements. No, no, good Mr. Defendant Consider the Profits of ray Employment, and you will never lose your time in persvi^a* ding me to quit what has put me very often amongst the Number of the tiffs, bail i^pnds^ and turn’kaey s Fees are pretty things to go Shares in, and there is a more than ordinary Virtue in telling oyer the Money that comes from W “^.

\ ». * I nave at once an opportune ty from thence of being merciful and rich at the same time; and Gompafiioh never Ififues out of my Breast without an Ounce or two of Silver to bear ids Charges in its return home to me again. I have got a Title among ’em, and if I Should not be Astiduous in my Vr sits to those that gave it me, Some Body or other would run away with, the name of Nurnky and I stand for ever excluded from Superdntending over the Pamtly of Love Not a Coffeehouse in couiftoesy or Middlesex Court would care a rush for me; Not a Matron in surry fireet or the Strandy would send home her Contributions, alid my own Covey at home must bid an adieu to Silver and Gold Oraces, make a Diminutive Figure, and fall Short of the B p of Cr — Daughter, Should I once take leave of my senses, to give a Farewell to those Profits that have made me taken for one that has had Prodigious In telleffuals., •. Be Odes, my Wife, poor Woman, would be inconfbleable, on Such an occasion, and have nothing elfe but a mere Log by her fide, fhostld I not Supply my Want of Fancy at home, by raising.. -.. ^ » I . j. ‘/ ‘fl \ t To the lt^ving, 55 / it abroad, and return’d freighted with the highest Inclinations, that went out with all the Deficiencies from her Bed, as were possible to be thought on. The Tailors wise’s, and her Cafe are much the Same, her Husband was advis’d by her to take out his whole Debt in the Duke of Buckinghams., strong Broth, and I am no sooner awake in the Morning, after steeping all Night by my wive’s fide, but am Sent out to whet my Stomach at Moll Quarles s, or get ao Appetite for a stefhly Entertainment \nsurry jlreet, or the Places adjacent near the Strand. Your Eringo Roots, and Spirits of Clary, are mere potatoeswater Grml, in respect of those Delicious Objects I feed my eye sight with, and the Bottoms of Artichokes are mine A — Je of a Provocative to the Bottoms and Tops I am entertain’d with, at the ‘Fe malerendevouze which I perpetually frequent. Confider, Friend of mine, how transporting a Sight, may be had in naked Breasts, and loose Garments! What an agreeable Object it is, to pull a fair Creaturcj out of Bed, make? he? put on her Morning Gown before you, peep under her Petticoat, while s’le’s putting on her Stock ins, hurry her a

way in a Coach without Stayfe; tak her aside to handle her pretty Circumstances tinder Pretence of Privacy, and Squeeze her by the hand, to acquaint her She Shall be releas’d for a certain Sum, and then run to one’s Wives ^ppartai. oi:, full of Love and Imaginations, all over ootiuog but Extaste, and afterwards TO Fancy’ this individual Do / Drudge or mine, to be that very Same Lady tha’., had made Such a resurreistion in this void, Dead, Earthy, Dull, Stupid, heavy Body of mine; ’ti$ Amazement, the Perfection of pleasure; and the highest Bounds of the highest Felicity. My poor Dedry^ iti say, that for her, it goes down as glib as a Pill in Syrrup of Violets, after these Rounds of mine, and I am lb increas’d in my natural Vigour by ’em, that She imagines herself in the Embraces of the Gentleman in the white Peruke, whom She has been fb long in Love with; iiifbmuch, that we mutually are pleas’d our feives, in the Conceptions we receive from others. But, tho’ I cannot part with my B.c. loved Recreation, or destst from an ployment that keeps me alive, and supplies me, as it were, with new Lifcj both fw y r m * * * To the things 51 for my own, and my Wife’s advantage; i believe, I can oblige you without any Damage to my felfi What think you of Surprising the bayl/ffs at the same time I captivate the femmes, and indicting Shem at hkps Hall, while I am holding out my hand for half Pieces for thereleale of others? Several of that Occupation here in Town for want of better Business keep their relpectiive CASES, ^ndtheiv Houses are Emblems of noapsarky where Clean and Unclean, were received in Couples; if a Visit to any of this sort of Cattle will oblige you, you know whom to Command; but if I must entirely’turn Bum catchery your humble Servant Sir, you have mistaken the Man, and are dedefir d to make Application elsewhere. I took up a Fellow that Styles himself an Author t’other day in the great Business of Copulation, and he not being a ble to pay hi Sees, or other wise gratify me for Discharge, have let him loose, on Account of the following Verses, if they fuit your Purpose, they are yours, if not send ‘em back to me again, for tfiey ar agreeable to mine, f, V I WO I I • t

4 5? Letters from the Lhingf % Two jack’s w An ofece as ever were known m ^tood up to Reform the Fag end of the 7 own • ^ the frft^ He Ad And Ears sunk in Debty lets begin With the chiefejl Promoters of the Mammon of Sin, di Bayliff s a Rogucy thut hus Poifond the nation And objlrulis ah Attempts to bring in Reformation, While his Warrants And Tipstaff fright us out of our Witsj And wire forcd to keep homewards for fear of his Writs. vaith And Trothy cryd the Second, your Argument s weak pray whaps that to us, if you Hide And you Seek? If you keep in becaufe Jacob Broud And his Crew Would get the poor Chandlers And 3\xic\qxs their duel As for your part good Brother een do AS you willy > Tour Excufey if I Piss in a different), Quitty ‘ f ‘ ■ T ‘’ And believe that the Females bring’ ‘Grid to my Mill, 3 ■, For ] jfor truly te [fetik what 1 think, I de dare, a here arenofuch ohhruuers of Good ^ nejs as they are. As their Numbers are known by the which I get. Wherefore Sir, a Fig for your juhice in Debt When in jlep^ddilaiixdi, the Dispute to decide. And laid, heres no Reason for. Saints to divide, loh, take up the firh, that have giv n such Offence, For Bayliffs are Rogues in a literal Sense And you, Brother smelhsmock, keep close to your Text, (Continue to Persecute these you have vex*d For your Lady s of Pleasure, to close up the Matter, Are Saints in their Looks, Whores by “Name and Nature, Thus jcyntly youll bring Reformation / indoors, A

Since none does off ofe but yoi0 Rogues m.d. your Whores. touvs^ 8rc. M’ ‘ ^ *’ r verfecutorv — • \ ■ ** ■ “l’ ‘ ^. • -. N N 1 Abridgment a Boohfeller, tq Original an Author. ( I I I By >- ®- Efqj tibiwll i m ii— — » ‘ •. \ \ Mr. Author, the Gentlemen of our Trade i look upon those of your profef iion as Menial Servants, or as the author of Tom Double has it, Vnder Spur Leathers, to us that sit at the iielm off Affairs, yet when we have occasion for you, we Sometimes veil our Bonnets, and come with an M — under our Gir » * die, to Request your Astistance. it’s true ‘hen we come to agree to a Price, we recover ourselves; and to make Ibme ’ Distinai

» * ; A <’ t
\ / ✓ % i the li<vlng. i ^ Distinction between us that Paf and iou that Receive, we stem indifferent in the Matter, Swear we can have enough that will do it, for a Crown a Sheet lest, and that Qdllier and Stttnhope, have no more than what e have offer d; and ou that Write are Such Fools as to be ^ lieveus. But what a God s Naihe, can youste in a bookstller’s Face, especially one of my Clast and Practises, to ^ give Credit to me? I have no goodliness to Recommend me, 1 never made Interest with Dr. Sh – – – – ck to Print one of his Sermons, for the stke of Propagating the gospel; never got in with Fleets mod or the Author of the Snake, for distoursts upon Miracles or Regales or Pontificates, or ever made Application to Old Roger C – – – – – to be Partner in St. Ciprian; However, I have been as well thought of by Profane Authors for (bme time, as the best Man of the whole Trade Ic may stem a little wonderful to People that don’t know me, but those that do, among whom you have experienced fny Civilities wtth a witoess, and been familiarly acquainted with ray Returns to those that Oblige me, will forgoe their Admiration, and look upon it as

a Thing of course; you know my me t thod of Caressing from the last time I dealt with you, and flip’d rny Neck out of Collar, by letting yours stay in but you are as good-natured a. Lad as ‘ ever breath’d, you have us’d me with a gentlemanlike behaviour ever since, and have taught rne how to use you again, by your not resenting fbmetranfadions of mine, Which have lately fallsh under your Cognizance I have So manag’d myself of late Years, that though I keep my Horse, I cannot keep my Authors, but have fallen out with ’em all Circularly. Every mother’s Son of ’erh has been tra”? duc’d by me, yet has every Mother Son oblig’d me Some way or other, and has ventur’d his Reputation, to make me sit in the Churchwardens Pew, and by making me Wealthy, give an encrease to mine. « * But L am persuaded that you whom I have drank many a Bottle of Winei with, and have lent many a Crown to, to spend it upon me at the Tavern, will past by what has hitherto been accounted a Trifle with you, and enter once more into Article to be my most ham hie Servant and leave your Old Masters as tbose you do Business for now call them % % / / \ % \ the Lhingi ( themselves. Egad, I have a Noble Subject for you, and a Guinea in Hand is a sort of Earned that you can never have the Heart to refute! You know, L and my Comrades have had a good Hand lately at Abridgments, and not a Book of any Note, that has been thought capable of being brought into Compass but has felt our Rage, and been torn in pieces by me and my Assistants; Some fknctify’d People that Converte with the Clergy in St. pauis churchyard may exclaim against us, and e en let ’em; We get Money, and let ’em keep to their Darling desire to pass for Honest Men If it be wholly practis’d mchurch and State I am willing to turn Protelyte; but tin then, which will certainly be to the last Day of my Life. I must stand excus’d, for Red Port goes at Eighteen, and you can have nothing \kt French under Two Shillings or Haifa Crown. To the Matter then in hand; What think you of Mr. Colliers Dictionary? it’s Sold at a High rae, and the Proprietors have got Money enough by it • Should I and Some more of my Acquaintance, employ you and others about it. Would it not get us a Sweet Penny? So it carries the Appearance of Benefit with it r y s. .1 H tetters ftm the Lhirt^ $ k, no matter what the World says to or chose that Bought the Copy; for I have a Temfler that writes for me, will undertake to prove it from upon littutony That it’s every man’s Copy, provided you take only Mr. coritrs Sense, and not make use of his Words. His Authority is unquestionable, for I print other folk’s Works with his Name, and have Several times found the Profits of it $ 9 by Subferibing them off at Half Price. Besides, I know a certain Spark that should be a Gajfcoyn by his Discourse, that will tell any qmer of ’em all to his Face, that Monsieur Betily is falsely quoted by himj and, that he knows not a Syllable of the Mattet, or ever read him. For he has lately borro^^*d him from the Keeper of thb Vatican Library and is furnish’d by hirri with more Auxiliary Names and occurrencesj that! the King of Spdin has brought the French Army in ltdy» Confider what a Glorious Undertaking it will be, to be concern’d With a Gentleman of his kdovs^ledge and Forestghf S and if you have any Desire to transmit your Name to Posterity, of. be Read by Rerhbte Ages, the readiest way will be to add yourself a Companion to him and the test of thy Scribes

I.. * ‘ • hat are.now under my Pay, and Writing whatever comes uppermost, that we may be the first that comes out to Cheat the World. ft . If you know of any other Book Worthy of abridging, send me word, for I design all the Books in my Shop shall be in two yplumes, twelve Shillings Price in ostavo, I am toupsf cc. ^ ^ ‘

/. ‘ cafe*harden’d Abridgment;
_ ___ V > - ■ f t * original’s Anjwer. . K ■ ‘ t !Bj the fdnie hdrii ) • «^ c Ihave had enough of you good Master of mine and fb has every Brother of the (ill that ever dealt with you, except Such as have been acquainted with what belongs th wooden Shoes, and cannot get Subsistence Otherwise.’ However, I would willingly F leavs \
9 ) 0 ♦ \ Letters from the lwmg^ leave Some Advice behind me for you tcf amend you Manners by, and if it be possible et you into a tolerable Esteem amongst your Neighbours. Would any Man in his right senses, or that had Relation to those that carry Brains about ’em Act as you do? To get Money Is a tradefntian*s Duty, but to get Money by Indirect means, to murder other Peoples Copies, and fall foul upon every Mans Page that is saleable, and has cost the Proprietor considerable Summs for the Purchase, is to play the Devil all. over. A Friend of mine t other day ask’d me, whether you were not a Scotchman and one of the Subscribers to that Darien Company; why So? fom Qjtondam Servant. because he follows, laid he, their Instructions as dofely as if he had been one of those that drew ’em, and having had posttive Commands to get Moneys has takeji their praiseworthy refbluti on of getting it how he can; right or wrong, honestly or dishonestly, it’s ah one in the Language, fb that you can but finger it. A little grinniog Bastard, (aid another, ril lay my Life to a Farthing, he’s a le^gaeunder^ and takes Picking of Pd I ke t s ^

$ ’^etsy as a neighb’ring qosspee man does ^ckjf^g of Shms, X be an undeniable Sign of Wity a perfect Demonstration of more than orahilities^ But you are beholding to lue for tejung him you were an English manjisi Same, as Matters go now, as agreeable and proper for one of your Dealings, .as any Foreigners whatsoever, if you’ll believe, the common Opioion of most Nations, or what Some amongst pur.selves, especially the Author of the who has likewise had the.hor nour of falling into the hands of the pa ragraph Men, as well as others that were Sufferers before and after him. But to apply tuy Self more immedi^ *• * ^ ■ ■ s ately to thebniinefs I have undertaken ta make a Convert of you,, which I fear will be as fail of Difficulties as the bringing oyer a Jew to the Qhrifitm iathj reconciling a Whore to a .Nunnery, or making a forget his Pride, and renounce the Flesh and the Devil, with the Pomps and Vanities of this wicked World. What thoughts have ypu of your self, when you give yourself leave to Inake Reflections, and retire into a dole Examination of the common ogcurren ^ of Life? F 2 M %.. j 9 V — ^ » 68 Letters from theli^ingy Has not ev’ry Man the (ble Property of his own Copy, and the only Liberty of dispofing of what he has bought? f dare perswade myself you‘11 agree with me that he has, and if it was your Cafe, -‘ would insert a Reward into the News Paper, todifcover the Man that Should take an Office peculiar to you upon him. Should any one Print an Impression of anything that belongs to you, though he did not Undersell you, but kept it up to Ready money, and put it off not a Farthing Under the first Price, the « Town Should immediately hear of it, and the Perfbn offending, ^ Should have iio other Mercy than what the Severity of the Law would afford him. IIS a qtitite different cafe^you Reply ivhtit I am Chargdwith; Yes, truly is it, in my Opinion, but the Difference rather adds to your Crime than excuses it. For the crooked Sinner in St. Pmfs Church’ that Printed the whole which ispawleth Copy, neither injur’d the A uthor So much, for was it word for word, C the same with the Original; or did half the Damage to the Bookseller, as a whi s ning, Canting, pains takiiig sort of a Fellow in the F — that had hir’d a Mendicant Sort of a farson to abridge it, A « . i i , * 3a theli^ving^ ^9 A Man needs have, recourse to few Arguments to prove it, for the whole Dufy of Man without Abridgments went off at the full Price, but Pawkt had a Share in the Sale of em, and consequently did not lose fb much, as when it was sold for Sixpence by good Mr. L — a Man of a Latitudinarian Conscience like yourself, and by the Sale of his, Should have done Injury to his own impresiion. You would as Soon be damn’d, as abridge Ogliby, because that celebrated Authors Works are now waft Paper, or I would Advise you to it, as iuoft becoming their Hands who are employ’d under you. They can imitate him in his Humour to a Tittle, and hit his chief Attribute of dulness to a Miracle, but to attempt anything after Mr. qoukr^ is to aim at what they must needs fail in, and Copy after Excellencies they cannot rightly distinguish, if they do not adnaire em, and own ^eni beyond Imitation. I understand there are four Worthy Gentlemen, that are concern’d in this, Conspiracy against Equity and Learning, I heartily wish ’em well, though I car have no great Opinion of their Abilities since they enter fb readily upon a Work ¥ \ tlwi

that is impoffiblb. It would be sitting there Should be rome Constable, or Peac^ pibcer amongst the Sharers; for its Ten to one there will be a Difference amongst ’em in the Ciofe of it about the Ihcture, that shall be plac’d before it. Evry ^ “. Mhi will be for his own Phiz: and if you would be hasty in your Book s damnation;; ’em all Four in the Frontispiece say I, and it’s Ten to one, whether the Courteous Reader, will tur^ over aiiother ls^st : ■ ‘ I hear Mr. Collier has taken the Alarm, and has stood to his Arms ever since the Rumour of his being attack’d by this Abridgment first come abroad : he’ll dq himself Justice as well as the wholq Trade, if he deters you from making such illegal Atremots for the future, and ■. * A 1 ■ * whatever he is about, wdietheric’s to be call’d introduction or postscript; Will X hope have it’s due success, while yours Meeting wirfi it’s deserv’d Reception Shall reconcile you once more to Pair \ s ^ i ‘ Dealings, after having been made Sensible of the Difapppintments that attend Soul ‘ ‘ i am glad I can answer the rey[uest, at the close of yours without a posttive Denial y and give you Satisfactioh with •.

‘j ( f 4 Tp the li<vingl 7? <)ut doing Violence to myself, or difb bliging others. Your Question has puzied me, and I have rack’d my Memory for a Book to fall under a State of Martyrdom, and be plac’d in the Rank of your former Abridgments: But all to no Purposh, I promise my Seif you’ll have nothing to do with the e&theps and school men^ and for Mr. Child s Sake you’ll Ipare poor Dupins eccufiafikat hihory, I profess one will Scarce hear of a Dk Bionary abridg’d in an Age, what think you therefore of Elijhtt Coles? Let your Book farriers Dock that Authors Tail, and bring it into a two Shilling Book, and the School Boys will be at your Service : if that will not do, I protest you have made Such a havoc amongst Books that are Saleable, that I have nothing elfe to recommend to you; but the BL hie and Common prayer Book, who am ». Sdveet iifr. Abridgment, / tottrs to Serve you in things lawful j Original. % ?4 C /\ 1 I – w ^ t « W V. ^ • \ • t to % s \ \ 72 Letters from the Liyimj 4 POSTSCRIPT A Friend of mine just gave me the following Lines, which are at your Service, because they stem to point at fbme Concerns, which you and I have had under our Consideration’ ‘ ‘

Tern pier, Frenchman, and a Brace .> VI Of Heav nly Guides who d drop yea I’. - V All met at an afpointed Place ‘ • » To jttd^ey if it was Fair or Base To Print Another s Copy »; ♦ . * 1 « / Said Boll the Firfy with serious loki .. ♦ ever Chanted Mass Sire, Ilf rove by Bijbopsfiodk and Crook, Each Man may Print his Neighbours Boak^ \ Or Pm a Popijh Afs Sirs *

Books are defgn^d for all Mens Goody And Public Information, And we but do as Christians fhoudy » By Making em he under flood And spread about the Nation. ‘ ■ tr*t ihe

\ • ^ The Letter of the Law its true Secures each Man his Qlaimy But what is that to me or you? So that same words he changd for New, • % * The Sense may he the same May 1 never more believe Trans sub – ^ / ■; / Or Penance, or Repentance,

\ near drink a Draught of Cheshire Buh^ * \ \ Or make one in this hone ft Club, If this he not my Sentence \ d Boll the Second Nobly faidy , _ _ I By Prophets Prlefts and Martyrs The way for us to get our Bread V, And above water hold our Head; ’ .t Is not to API like Starters. I. « \ I m of Opinionj that its Pair By what ere Means we gain ity Money ftjould be our Chief eft Care
- ’ ‘ ‘ / Writers cannot live on Air,
A’ * * ^ ’ % ‘ tve trfdy and will maintain it i f ‘ ^ ‘, \ A * * * i 9 Monsieur 4 74 Letters from the things »
k Monsieur mthotit the leafi delay., Straight (he>pd himself Content ^ ticr could the Man of La w, say nay For all his Tenement of Clay But ftlence gave Consent V r Two Priefis like these what Man can hew r Amidfi the whole Qreaftion I Whad. lay man^ Two such laymen know that could fo soon Converted grow Throughout the British Nation? \ wou p i[ft say I, the Tour are joynd. In the same Vndertakingy For fare Four more of such a Mindy So Promptly hady and ill Inclind, Were never of gods niakif^g. ‘j’ ‘*

» / P % I.. ‘ ‘ 1 t The

/

A, , *• ». • •. (

- W. «/* J ♦ < • / ‘ Lo the Lyings 75 e’ V The two Hundred Maidens at th V Bath, to the Virgins in Oxford. b w By Sam. C — d Esq \
  
  - You have heard of pur Calvalcadp at the Reception of. the Queen, and the Gazette has inform CL you that the Spirit of Continence has been visible increas’d at the Bath within these few year. Pardon us, we Speak of the Ladies under a State of Matrimonial Bondage, for the Citizens; Wives are still the same, the Country Gentlewomen keep up tp their old Interviews, and the Gamefier, and Man of much address with little Fortune, is as assfiduous at the Bedchamber and Toy let, as ever has been known. How Shall we do to Entertain Fler Ma sty on the next Occaston, fbe Shall be pleas’d to favour this Town with, he only knows that first made Maidenheads for the Courtiers are fb pressing with us, and thci Stars and Gaters have Such an influence pver our Constitutions, that yy.e iimch fear a general Surrencjry, and \, T. ….. that \ r

that the Enemies Artillery will force us to yield at Discretion;; formidable appearance, makes ns believe their Guns are well mounted, and its a terrible thing if you’ll believe the Western jlajfesy to hold out a Siege till the line my storms the Body of the place Sword inhdnd. All that we have to say is, that if we should turn backflidersj it’s no more than our Mother s have done before us, and tho’ we decrease in our Number for the < / i present, we Shall make it our Endeavour to add to it nine Months hence, by the Accestion of many a pretty Innocent by way of Recruit. But it seems the Ladies of your Town have had more Modesty, than to put upon hermajesty as we have done, and make mrs mouth water to write them down also young Maidens. A Fumbling sort of a Spark, he believ’d what was sent hint to a Tittle, though Some of us can prove to the contrary, if it be true, That a certain Shopkeepers Daughter, entrusted, her Secrets two years since;; the hands of her Father s journey map, and virtue ous Mrs. Betty P — m dropped fbraething which the Ignorant still think her pot less’d of in a great House .not far front Qolden^square* • t

However we have the Reputation and Fancy goes a great, way towards at foundation for a Ladies Character; we appear’d all like Amazons, perfect man haters; but Some Gentlemen that have Read us otherwisethan in the Public News, can attest from our Private Conversation, we are not what we are taken for, and are as inclineable as Nuns at a Grate to think well of a Sex We cannot be angry with, while they do not ruri away with What they prize us for, and leave us in poftestion of the Goods that for Some years will be (carce the worse for their’s, or other Folks wearing. twas a merry Ibrt of a Project that it was, and a Plot well laid to let Her Majesty know, what a Heav nly sort of a Place Somerfetjhire was.’ The Story of the Seven thousand Virgins Was ejefer vedly held for Fabulous, and receiv’d as a Popish Legend; but our Wifeacres that took Sr. Charles cottereu’s Office upon ’em, and marfhalsd us Rank and File according to Order, pick’d out no more than Two hundred to be the more readily believ’d, and have thenifelves takien for Encouragers of the Reformation now carried on amongst us. We wilh they may not be mistaken, and rather add to 0 \ \ 9 7 ^ Letters from the Lmnu to the Suspicions the World had of pur country women than diminish from it, since it is but too evident to those wh6 can give any Credit to their Ears and Eyes, we belong to a Town, that has the greatest: Temptations in it to make us not fuspected of two much Chastity. Our Aldermen perform’d their Parts to a Miracle, with Mr. R — r at the Hpd of ’em, fb many Foreheads So many Pair of Horns to defend ’em; but we are ready to burst at the Account, two or three young Oxford Schollars that have hedg’d themselves into the Rear of the Court, give us of your Heads of Colleges and i>octors. They tell us, Dr. M — r got rid of the Spleen for an hour or two, and was pleas’d to think while Her Majesty kept her Court at Chrifl church; there was one in the uni verstty had a higher Authority than himself in it. That the Head of jesus and his Brimstone Society appear’d all with quick filvergirdxqs^ and fcratch’d where it itch’d, to testiste thdr Loyalty and AS Section to tne present Governtnent, and’ that the Men of qjieees ^ Midi Tim Pack of Dogs, canfte bitiirg their, triimbs, as if they had fen ^njbfn’cf V 1 To ffce Living, 79 to do Penance at Her Majesties Entry, . and Fright the Ladies of Quality out of their Senses, by Challenging the whole Retinue to make 2. sjrogi{m Barbara or cut an Enthymtwe as neatly and concise as they could. That the Warden of a certain College left Three in a Handy and taking Off Beer Glasses Supernaculumto put on his Scarlet, and carry Divinity upon AH Fours to pay his Modicum of Allegiance : and a certain old Gentleman of Merton was lift ed on Horseback with his Spectacles, to to see whether he could fpye any one Fool enough amidst the Crowd, to take his unmarry’d Daughters for better or worshi with as lender Portions as he put off his last with.. In Short, We are told there is no^di verfion like that which your grave Dons gave the whole Courts and that old Wyat had got by Heart, the Devil and all of hard Names to have call’d hermaiesty by, had it been thought Proper to have had her addrefs’d in the Latin Tongue. The two young Kids of chrib Church are highly commended for their Tutors Ccmpiemenis, and evhy one says that came from rhepxe, they are tr^digies of young Gentlemen to ihch cramp bran, € Exprestions^’ t

■ ♦ exprefgons, or make Interest with the most Poetically inclin’d in that venerable Society, for a Dozen or two of Distiches to fet their own blames to. As for his Part we are credibly inform’d the Gentleman that harangu’d his Royal Highness, is (b conceited of his Performance in the learned Language, that he thinks of nothing but making a Conquest of the mdthematickl and tfiumhing over obtrufe angles^and/: ^rpn/hw»y^j, to fithim for the Command of a Squadron of Ships be imagines the Service he has done him fb great: and to call him a Degree below a Captain of a Man of War, is to accept a Challenge from him in a Meadow near the River Churwell. The two Gentlemen Commoners of I B alio I and New College did enough, for they fpoke.what those that had the Care of’em, bid cm, and he that does that of their Birth and Estates, fulfiirs his Fathers, or Guardians designs to a Syllable, stnee Metre and Bomhaji does not recommend a Gentleman to St. Stephens Chapel, and he’s much nearer being chosen a Parliament Man, that can Hire others to write for him, than he that is forc’d to be at the trouble of writing for himself. Biit we are of Opinion in a V , these Parts, that the Gentlemen who ^ * went out Doctors, took the righteft Sow by the Ear, since Court Places are Slippery things, and he that may look big for a while in Poffeflioa of em, may be glad to take up with another Employ ‘ without ’em. Let us tell you, never was Money better Spent among University Beadles than theirs, and tho’ the Common-law is laid to be an Excellent Preshription a gainst full Pockets, or the Money Surfeit; that which is c/w/is not without particular Benefits and advantages to get an Estate by, as Dr. and Walker will affiire ’em by way of Certificarej provided they put their Hands in their Pockets, and pull out the pass.dort of Intelligence.; To draw towards a Concluston, we have givsh our Thoughts of your Entertainment of Her Majesty with all ima r ginable Freedom, and destre you would take the Same Liberty with us. We have ao Reason to doubt, but as you have made yourself Merry with our Dancers and Scrapers, and Collection of virgini ties, fb.dou’ll excush us for, concerning ourselves with your old Stagers, that G’ have N S 1 t h $ m ^2 Letters from the Lhinp, ? have not Sinews enough to get’em from us; had we, as the Gazette tells you, kept ’em to this time. I < ■ • for the younger Sort, their Abilities are best known to you that have try’d’em • but if their Backs had been ho Stronger than their Metre god’a^ 0 mercy Maiden Heads, say we, Oxfordjbire might have bpasted an equal number with C omit at u Somerfeu But where the muses take their Habitation; there are y ♦ ^ few but themselves, and its not in our Inclination to find fault with yoii for your Ambition to be Women as Soon as you could, and know the Distinction between the two sexc It behoves us to imitate you, and those among us, that have hot been before hand with you, 8? wdh be certain not to neglect Whip and Spur to come up to you. We lost time while we are writing, the young rages ■are out of Patience at our dealing with the Staodisti fo long, and the Horte • Guards and Greoadeers curse the mb nierit that brought Fen and Ink into V i/aihion. Not but we have variety of &itors from bis Grace to his; but Business must be done whom Soever it is. done by. And evvy year rnay not give us N 0 % ^ 1 *1 • > , f6 the Lifting, f % us the like opportunity which this suiii mer has presented us with, wherefore take leave to Subferibe ourselves in haste. t * Tours, « t t / ^ • % ^

The Oxford virgin’s, < “’ ‘ ‘ ■ I V < * y the same Hand. . - ‘ 1 At the Recept of your’s, We held a Convocation, whether it Should be read, or returned back unopen d off Account of the Direction. The Masters of Arts Said ’twas a burning Shame, and a high Disgrace to their dttkv Alma ma ten, who had been Mother of fb many Children, that any that liv’d within the Precincts of the University Should be call’d a Virgin after thirteen^^ind Several or those that made Inquiry into the Learned Languages, as Syriack, Arabic, Chaldoani cc. enter’d their Protestations against it, as being a Note of Infamy, and us’d amongst ancient Writers, as an ixpres ston to signify Barinnefs, J V G 2 Thd %

■ r ■ ‘ – - ■ ‘ I §4 Letters from tu Livings Th younger Sort for their turns, to give you their Sentiments of the Matter, . made it out as clear as the Sun at Noonday that a Maiden Head was a rheer Ens Ratioms^ a Thing that had no Being, but in Imagination a down right nothing, and invok’d the Logicians for a Magazine of hard Tertiis, and a Train of Dr strictions, to batter down those Enemies of Copulation that had milnam’d those Ladies that were actually senior sopps for Anfrvering under Ratchellors, But the graver Part of the Houle, ? lijch as your Theclogiits§ Civilians and Phyftcidnsy were far from being Hot in i our defence, because of their Cold ener % ■ ^ r ate conshtutions; and would have the word Maiden to be the ornamont of the X Sex, while they were incapable of making us Women, and easing us of a con cerri that has always, been reputed a amongst the learned in this Place to be the Burden of it. ‘, We like our jcpdemicks^ for destribing what Sort of Business tbesh Antiquated

Seniors are fit for, and giving you to ‘understand that our graver sort of Philosophers know how to demean themselves upon Solemn Occasions; but a god’s Name what harm have our Aldermen done 4

done you, that they must be past’d by in Silence, and stun bv as sh many Cv X O V > pliers in your Epistoltiry account? Fie Ladies its very uncourtly, and we cannot but take notice, I hat you have made but an 111 hand at Learning the Decorums s. put in Practice about Her majesty’s Royal Perfbn. Did you mind the Gazette? No lest than a Sir William had the Honour to ^arry the Mace before the Queen, and conduct her to Her Majesty st Apartment; and.det this Worthy Knight notwith standingtheceremony which was made use to get him upon his horse, the Footman and Beadles that walk’d by his fide is not worthy to be mentioned. Were you to see how heinousty the whole Corporation takes it, how their Wives and Daughters pout to see their Husbands, and Fathers slighted, and how evvy individual Sinner Shows a general Concern, and Distatisfaction at your unpardonable omifspn; you \yould con Suit your scho lastick Minions by way of Instruction, and have made ’em sit down to Dinner with their usual Courage, and drink a Health to the Encouragement of Learning, as Tradesmen Should do, that live iy that of others and not their own. ^ G I ‘ But ’ ’ ‘ a J • \ \ ♦ ) t ? 8: 6 tetters from the Liybingy i / Btit ic*s past, and the moment cannot be recaird, the Universtty is like to fare the worst for their Brethren • who mur ram cake stm, must Set up for Courtiers, and as the first step to accomplish thetn felves, do an Act of Injustice. Let stm come back with Money in their Pockets, to pay off their Scores, or Woe betide their opiniated Coxcombs. Pot Mercers bill’s sty about like Hail, and Tavern Accounts come into the Colleges thick and threefold never was Such Crowding as there is in the Vice chancellors Coprt, and the Bachelors of Law get the Devil and All. We are told there will no such thing as Chalk made ule of for the future, and that the Coaler has Orders to provide new Apartments in the Castle, for the Reception of the Pristners that will come into his Custody. Yet the Gentlemen, if they can poc fibiy pare time from making their Appearance at the Leveey to give you a word or two about their Foot cloths^ may mention Sir and his Footman, and tell the World what a delicate Foot and seg Mr. fright had for. a Horstman, and how excellently he became his Furniture and fate in his Saddle, and there wist be Suits of Clothes, and Law

sots

for Eternity Gratis; other wise they are to expect nothing without ready Money, and the Mayor of the Town wist Shake off all accustomed Allegiance to the Uni ■ yerfity, and remove the Day of dearji far from him, by not making his Appearance at St. Mary with the Baiter instead of his Collar orks^aboui: hisneck, at the time and anniver ary appoiotecl. The Citizens of Drare s^eodit; for our Money, the devil a bh ‘. head did they pretend, , Reception wis as as it ■ was hearty and stncere; ail^ltie entertained with a Splendour the Wealth and Royalty of the Place they belong’d to. Would you do as we do, you would Show your Selves bette? Subjects than the Gazetteer makes you appetir to be, and push forward the great Doiy of Froceation at a time when vve arc id volv’d in a War, and under Such Straits to provide soldier’s for Her Majesty’s Servicco ‘ ^ > Wte’ should’ scarce turn Mutineers if evvy Soul of us were obliged aster’ the Practice 6f the “‘federal Lieutenancies of ‘ / the Kingdom, to furnish their respective Horsemen and Footmen, the more the ‘ Merrier Say we, and voutl Soon agree ‘ ^ G 4 ‘ with, ‘^. ri.’i t ‘if V,. S, ^ V ^ r ‘ ** t i t f s8 Letters from thelifuingy with us in’our Sentiments ctter you have try’d the pleasing Experiment. And tb let you know, that we are never backward to express our Satisfaction in Her Majesty s Government, and the Zeal we have for the Frefervation of hers and * the prince’s Royal Person, we have laid our Heads together in another sort of Exercite than we have been Speaking of, and made our hearty Addresses to the in the following manner. . \ ‘ j \ ‘ Te Pow rful Streams your tppnted Gifts, convey.., • hear a Monarch, and, her suvieus Pray, V in GEORGE’S Lfe hrighf ANNA’s is fecuroy In anna’s are her Dutious people’s Jure. Preserve the Prince or ye the Queen de fl roy; And biajh our iiofes, and (HU our growing foi. Health did the Syrian Chief its Jordan ^atn^ Oh may the Syrian s Health attend the Dane. ■ I i / Renew d

Renew d in Vigour and in Strength rejiord, And save our Sovereign LADY in her LORD, As they may fiid the same Examples frove^ And teach us hqw to Live, and, how to Love. Still blefs*d at home the British Empire And Heav n e/poufe the juhice of his Side, While Ormond with their Arms abroad Prevails, And Conquers Spain and Tyranny in Cales. iiot for T hemfelves, ‘ for iqngdoms? ‘they despise, Jr • And st2lvs beyond their Xcnkh cannot rise, / But for the Peace of Europe whichy ‘ they prize J 4 P How they may go down with Bath Stomachs we cannot determine, but we have Opinion enough of our own Performances to think em tolerable. Not

%4 that we would be taken for those that belong to the Retinue of the nine Ragged Musts, who have nothing to keep ’em warm

warm but their maiden hettisf but w.oyld have a jplace in your Opinion for Such as have the highest \teneration for Kingly Government in the right Line. If there is any ficha Piece of 1vtor

w V. * ’ tality, that has made himself anappem dix to the Conr: as a Pott, you may go on with our Compliment, and testify your Affections in the same rnanner, if not, you have nodiiog to do but to go on with your praish worthy Resolutions, of Supplying Her Majesty with Soldiers, and casting up your Eyes to Heavn pn your Backsy while you are confiilting the Satisfaction of your Bellies % cc / \ , \ k i • ‘ i • The Duke of Burgundy to ‘ the King of Spain., i By >- ®-. Esq. . ■ ■ ■

Verfails not an hour stnce, and heav’hs be prais’d, have Ihook ‘ off the dangerous Apprehenstons that ‘ - ■ stuck ^ stuck by me in Flanders. Let those make Compaigns that have a better Relish for being beaten; for my Part, I am none of the Man, my Grandfather takes me for. Conquests may please his Fancy, but I that have no prospect of those that are Real must ask his ejtcuse; since there is no Mustek in tcd^i&{»; r, thar thank God for Afflicting us; and I would not be thought Such a Fool of a General, as to think Heavh would accept me for my Sincerity, in declaring to the World I gave Praise to the Divine Power, for ‘ letting the Earl of Marlborough get the better of me. I Shall never forget him, while there is any Breath in this Body of mine. I was told, he was a Courtier, a very Complarstmt sort of a Soldier, andone that would Show the highest respects to the Second Prince of. the Blood, and Presumptive Heir to the Kingdoms of France and Navafr, but it was all Fiction, and not fb much as a word of Truth the whole Story, for he’s the most un accomplifh’d, rough, termagant sort of a Lord as ever I met with in all my Life It s true, I carried things with a high Hand for % little tihie, and his Lqrdfhip

of Athlone was tolerably? Civil to me; while I was laying wast the Duchy of Cleve and play’d the Hero over a parcel of old Women and Children; I made many a Boor Find pocks and Hens, for my Kitchen, and compelsd ’em to bring in what Provisions they could rap or run for to furnish my Table with : Athlone I say, was Gentleman enough in Conscience to me, and I liv’d as merrily upon other Peoples Estates as a Man could wish; but alas those Joys were but mc^mentary, and who Should be sent to make rne Dance to his Music, but this Eftglifh scarecrow, this Son of Thunder and Lightning, this uncourti OMS marleborouge ‘’ Ah Brother, I am like to fall into a Fitjat the very Name of him, and your Customer Prince Eugene cannot be half fb > terrible to you. Before his Arrival, whenever I thought fit to Decamp and Change my Quarters, the Enemy quitted theirs for my Service, and I cock’d up my Hat and Feather like a Fury, wherever I took a Fancy to entrench’ my self. But would he turn Tayl to me do you think, when I delir’d his Absence, and took a Fancy to the Place of his Residence?? Situation pleas’d me, and:

nd I tiiarchd Bag and Baggage with my Mirmidons and Domestics to take pofteflion of it. But he was for stretching his Authority as lawful Landlord, and Sent me packing with my Writ of ‘ejectment at my A — fe, as if the Devil drove me. whats the meaning of it I cant tell 5 but a Prince brought up in Compliments, and lent into a Country to do what he pleas’d in it, might have expected a Decenter Entertainment. I was fed up with Hopes that he would quit his Habitation, and leave it for me to entertain the Court Ladies in; hmteouf flers was mistaken and reckon’d without his Host; and I have had nothing but the smell of gun^owder^ and brimstone was ever since in my Nostrils, which is never like to leave me, unless the Court Puhiils get the weather Gauge of the Camp Perfumes, and overcome that which has overcome me. However, notwithstanding all these Punishments, and my being order’d to return to Paris under pretence of sick ness; I have receiv’d the Compliments of the Magistrates belonging to the Several Towns I pass’d through, and the marquiss of Bedmar, Such another Com queror

c|ueror as myself, and I had the merri* ^ Interview imaginable. He came with his Hat nail’d to his Head and an Air of Haiightinefs, as if he had actually taken hafi by Storm ’ and put every Souterkin to the Sword that was * in Garrilbn : Tour Iiigtnefsy Said he, has made a glorious Campaign and the Spanish Nation is indebted to your Valour in securing these Provinces from the Insults of an Enemy that lies in wait for Advantages to surprise us. Nothing but the Son of Lewis the Hardy could have born the f.itignes which your Highness has undergone, and the Kjng my Maser will always bear in Kemembrance the good Offices, fo i^eroic a Prince and Brother ’ has done him. Nor was’ I wanting in making Returns after the manner of his own Language \ Said I, while the French Nobility were Cringing and making Grimaces in Praiie of my Addressing my Selfy 1 am highly pleased with the kind .Thoughts you have of me, and cannot biit bear • you Witness, that your Achievements and fonduil deserve the highejl Acknowledgments from the price whefe Deputy you are, and whose Service you have dijtingmjha your self by. in the Zfal you have shown for it;

Gazette without all manner of queuion^ will he as jnfl to your Praise;; the brusters can be to mine, and since they are equally Lovers of Truth, they will he reciprocally Sincere in the Relations they shall giite of oiir fufcefsful Eocpeditions<, So much for the Don yom Subject and Servant, and away brufhd your Brother Burgundyj your Majesty’s Gene ralijjlmoy or Vicar General which you please, with the Shouts and huzza’s of the Cofnrhonalty, that were glad I had left ’em a Town to Winter in, and stock’d about rny Calash to admire at a Prince, that had not lost all they had in the first: Year of his battoonfhip, and Practice in giving the Word of Command. As both of us took diffe rent Ways, he to his R fide nee in Elan ders, to meditate over the oumberlefs Exploits he had perform’d, and con. trive Ways and Means how to get away from their Fury, Should the gar rifbn oehulfi, and the Neighbouring Troops return the Visit which he lately made ’em, and I laid my Commands on him that drove me to drive jehu like, to bring me as Soon as he could to my Grandfather, that he might whet stp his Stomach for another Te ifeum, and

and show the same respects for my Victories, as he has already Shown for yours. J ^ * _ I vow to God the old Gentleman was as glad to see me, as ever he wain his Life : And took me into his clo let with as much Solemnity, as if I had all the Secrets in the World to make him acquainted with, while I was ready to put Fingers in Eye, and fall into Tears for fear of his being Angry at the News Boufkrs lent me home within he Journal. Be not dijhearten d Bojt^ said he, Thy Grandfather has been as much afraid f Gunpowder in his Tou th, as thou canji be for the heart of thecy and remember it as the chief eft Maxim of State to put on a good Face on a bad Matter Vd send to my good Cozen the Archbifbop of ris to give thanks for thy safe Arrival, and keep the Hearts of my People by encouraging them to continue giibing Free Gifts, and Supplys, with the Noise oi god’s blessting on my Arms, and a show of Success on all my righteous Dnderta* kings: Princes mull not let their sub jehfs know their Mtfcarridges, and we that have Magnified the Good pels of God, in taking away Ten thousand of our hef Soldier Sj \ Soldiers from us at the Battle of Lnzara > may certainly pit on the Vail of Hyperi* fie once more and ■^dore his Divine con defeention in permitting us to ftirrender up the Towns of Keyfaerwart, Landau, venlojruremond ^iwsrevenswartjc/ cur own Accordj to an Enemy that otherwise would have obligd us to it by Force of Arms. T thank’d His Majesty for delivering his Mind to me fb graciously, and pro mised to make him Amends next Campaign; would His Majesty but Send ms into the Field with twice the Number; which was enough for the King to Chuck me under the Chin, and Dissemble an Air of Satisfaction among his Courtiers, as if Luxemburgh and Turene were Revived in me, and all the Heroes since pha ramende were but as So many Chickens, if compared to a Man of my Fortune. I wear nothing but Red, and other Military Accoutrements since my Arrival, and fifty Pistoles in hand to the Abbot that writes the News paper, has extoll’d me to the Skies for my Great Skill in Affairs Military. Every Soul that can pay for Scarlet, Mimics me to the Life, and I have had at least a thou land impertinent Addresses, to tell me that the Nation look’d upon me, as Rome H did

did upon Afcamus^ the Hopes and Expectation of their State. I was put to the Blush many a time for a Return to their Compliments, as being Conscious to my seif how little I deserved ’em; but thanks to my Stock of Hereditary Brass,, the Natural Courage belonging to my Family, I soon recover’d myself from my Difbrder, and behaved my self with a Grandeur that was Suitable to the terfbn and Circumstances of him they paid their Offerings of Praise to. Tut amidst the Recital of my Victories, . and the Balls and Entertainments occaston’d by ray Glorious Return; a midst the Panegyrics of the Learned, who were as much in the wrong as those that had been bred up in Ignorance, and the joyful Clamours of the Multitude that were misled by the Reports of my Valour, Some one or other, that had a truer Infight into the Posture of Affairs, drop’d the Following piece of Mortification in my Bedchamber, with this Inscription;, “ To

To Lewis of Burgundy, Fortunate for “ant of Success, valiant/or want of Bravery, Prudent for want of Knowledge, experienc’d for want of Action, and tnumfi\2int for want of Conquest. r C ^ I ‘ yomg Prime take heeds thcir Pois mus Praises Actions like give Words like theirsy the Lye’, Despise their Flafries, and their Falsehood scorr/y Truth fhottld delight a Soul that s Nobly Born; And Truth could freaky would Royalty give leave { That Courts within their Walls might Truth receivcy ^ What Glorious Feats thy Conquring Troops have doney How well they were entrench’d, and swift they Run, ‘ s Ha’ With

With ‘But 10» Wttllp in per/on At their head

Who came, and (aw, and (igh*d, and fear’d, and fled. I Camps thou haji seen thy very Enemies own But what are Camps and War to Boys ungrown? / Go to thy Wife thy Fancy d Trophies Tear And fling nmajf the Signs of Btood and fvar, ‘ Fortune may bless thy dalliance with thy Bridej ‘ ^ ‘ But Fortune cannot with Injujfice fidcy Or Jland by Swords that Auftriaj Rights oppose. And make the Arbiters of Peace their Foes, i In Balls at Meudon, Verlailes delight \ tis beneath a Child of France to Eighty i

To tempt rough Danger with Sttccelp^ less Armsj Ruffled and D if composed amidjl a larms^ Thy Locks mcurtd and loofenl by the Windy ^ /* i Dfefs’d up for Battles of another Kjnd* I \ Thy Grandfather s Example nobly Viewy I And the same Road to famcy he tooky purfne; While Villeroy and Catinat take the Fieldy Would any Bourbon Venture to be jqlla? Or show himself Degenerate front hid Racey Daring to f are an Enemy in the Face Noy noy soft Peace thy Bear diefs Viffage fuitsy Swordsy pikesy and Guns are Infiruptents for Brutes, If War mufl be through out thy granfips Reigny And he will venture vt2inco to grasp at, ■: Spain, ‘ ‘ • H 3 ‘ “ Jf ■ ■ : V ■ ■ \ * f t to heturs from the vtvmgj If Philip j.’ Vjurpation heu fpoffe, • ‘. 0 ad Ptmdup for the Breach of Oaths. and Vows If he furfues the Life he yet has ledy And wrefis the sacred Meaning of the deady Meddle thou not, the Soldiers Part decline. Left with the Cause, the Guilt he likewise thine \

You may like em perhaps as little as myself, but there are not a few at Court that have taken more than ordinary Liberty in Comrhending ’em • among the rest, the Countess of rich leu must needs setup for a Wit, and be confin’d for peaking her Sentiments of what no Body asked her Judgement of. she’s a pert Lady, and I dare Swear Repents it by this time. But the King has been a great Encourager of Wit, and now he’s paid home with it for his Pains. We are in great concern for your Affairs m Italyy and Scarce a Packet comes

% comes from thence, but our Tongues are order*d to be padlock’d^ aod Commands iftoed out, that oonc [iresame to ‘’ J k dive into tfiofe Arcanas, .estate: you would do a Brotherly Omce to me to i me ‘to be a litde Coramiioicative at this time, for though I aoi a.drivv Counsellor, I know very iiitic of the Matter. The King tells us all, rliat you Fight like a Hero. i v/iili it be true, that one may be Said to belong to the Family, since it is manifest by what has preceded, there is ‘ very little appearance of Such a mac culine Creature in A Tour jffeummte Brother’’ ‘’ ■ « ; Lewis of Burgundy.

I The King of Spain’/ An jwer to the Duke of Burgundy. !By the same Hand. ‘i iwilh my self as Safe at Home as you are, for by all that’s Good, I have shinjepd worse than a Man in a Tertim j^ue ever since my being in Jtalyy tho’ at the same time I must confess that the Country is to Hot to hold me. I was promis’d Mountains, beibre my Arrival, but they have dwindled into Mole hills, into mere Nothings, and Philip oi Spam is a worst Man, by Ten Degrees, than Philip of Jnjou. The Cardinal be damn’d, say I, that conjur’d up Chttrles the second’s Will, had it not been for him, I had liv’d like a Prince, not fhew’d myself Sori Sight through the Towns and Cities osspain, Naples and the milanezay and came hither to look about me, hear Veniofm Talk Big, and be an eyewitness

% < ■ \ ■ \ ‘ * \ To the li<vlhg. 105 nefs of the Conduct of a Prince, that Performs even beyond what my Generals can Promise. If Marlborough puts you into Fits, What a God’s Name of a Stool does Prince Eugene give me at the very Thoughts of him? I need no Physician to prescribe to me when I am Costive; mention him, the Business is done, there is no occasion for a Dote, and I am as loote as a Purge can make me, be I never fb Hide bound. That Paul Diack too, wiish^s Confounded is the Devil of a Fellow, I would as icon Trust ‘ my tels with the King of Polands Bears, or the Czar of Mufcovfs Butchers or Executioners, as come within a League of him, and Count Davia^ like a Son of a Bitch as he is, chop’d upon mine and the Duke of mantups Equipage, and rubb’d off with our Plate, Jewels, and other Knicknacks of Inestimable Value. Thanks to Powder and Bullet, the Rake Commerci is step’d aside into a notherworld to sting a Main in, and I heed not stand in fear of his Playing at Seven and Eleven with my Officers his Prifbners. The Champion is as Dead as a Door Nail, and I am no more

r •’ more afraid of him now, than a Dutch ‘^ IT mm at the Picture of the Duke ti Jlva^sx slne^giijbshvq at the Sign of the Sarazem Head. ^ He Fought like a Dragon, that’s for certainj not that I saw him, for the Duke of Mantm and I were a Playing at boe peep with the Enemy far enough off, buthtwo or three of my Generals that gave me an Account of him, held Spirits of Harts Horn at their Noses, for fear of Sounding at the Remembrance of the Slaughter he made amongst’em* _ I must needs setup for a Diviner, with this Paper Scull of mine, and pretend to Prognosticate what would never come to palsmust write to pep^ dofm, must I? with a Pox to him, and amidst other Compliments, lay my Commands on him to desist from Bating ^ the Enemy any farther till my Arrival, If this be Victory, What a Plague is it to be conquer’d.? Certainly that’s a State, of Life that s fast from the Confines of Damnation. “ ’slife, I could pull a Crow with my Grandfather for his Advice, marry could I, but the uncertainty of, my Affairs will not permit it, because I may have an occasion to make use of his Dbmi niotl§ L.. V \ / % * \ totheliying. io nions for Shelter, after the Lost of my own. This Battle of Lazar a; this Conquest we have Teased Heaven with Thanksgivings for, has made a Jefi of my Meditations, and render’d me the Laughingstock of zxv chrijierf dom. I no more thought of any Resistance from the Germans, than the Man in the moon, and had order’d my Hunting Horsts to be got ready, in order to drive them out of Italy: But as ill Luck would have it, they were of a nother Opinion, and wholly poffest’d with the spirit of Contradiction, Would they Budge, Brother of mine, think you? Not an Ace, By the Mast, but fell upon us like Lyons, drove us back that came to pursue them, and made minc’d Meat of the Flower of my Army. Werie you to stc how much like Fools Vendofm and I have look’d upon one another stnce, you would be ready to Iplit your Sides. A gurse on stm, cries he, i’ll have no more Dealing with thost Sons of Whores, they are mere Negromancers, an Play at Back gam mon with the Devil; Agreed, says your Brother phtl a Match with all my Heart, u

Heart, let us Decamp immediately, for they look very scurvily as if they de fign’d to Attack us. ‘Not but we have entrench’d ourselves to a Miracle, and are seemingly Impregnable amidst Ditches and Morasses; but what are Ditches and Morasses to Men who can run up Mountains like Cats, and make nothing seem Impervous or Impostible? They must Cut off our Rear, that’s beyond all manner of difpute, and what’s that to me? Let the Fellows take care of them f • ‘ lelvcs. Ill provide for one, and be Sure to be in the Van and out of gunshot. But a Courier has brought me word this very Minute, my Grandfather has order’d Post Horse to be laid for me to return to my Dominions at a Minutes Warning, by the way of France Carero has given me all the Assurance his Consternation would permit him to give, That unlest I make the best of my way to Madrid, the Duke of or mond will be there before ‘me. He calls the English and Dutch, Heretics, and the Devil and all of hard Names. what’s / that to me? I suppose they will be fb Civil as not to make me a Cuckold, and if my Wife be but my own, e’en let •»

let them do what they will with my Troublefbme Kingdoms, he buys them very dear, that makes So many weary ^ Steps as I have made for em. However, necefsty has no Law,, and I must show myself in Perfbn at mad ridy that have made Such an indifferent Figure in Italyy or for my difbbedf ence to my Lord and Master, for I am but his Deputy, have not a Foot of Land of my own to hide my Head in. Well, ril venture myself once more, come what will of it, tho’ I lose Leather by the Bargain, though Prince Eugenes King - Catchers come within an Inch of me again, and lie everywhere in wait for me. No Body questions but caes is lost, ^ and Cevil by this time is gone after it; fb much the better, say I, for I never liked the Spamards all my Lifetime, and it may be an Occasion of my Return to Paris again, an make me live at Ease in a Court that folts my Genius and Inclination. But I must fo manage Affairs as to take Old jporto Carero with me, j for it would be highly unjust in me to leave him to the Rage of the Multitude, that has damn’d his Soul for me, and Swore him \

himself black in the Face to prove the legality of my Succession ce a Kjfigi always a Kjngy say I, and the Proverb will stand by me when my Subjects have left me; and the worfle come to the worst, I can but Play at Tennis and go a Shooting with the Young Gentleman at St. Germains I promised him, I remember, when I took my Leave ofhini, to Restore him to the Throne of England but I have an Evasion to save my Blufiies when e re I see him, and that is No Man can Re bore 2i Perfbn to what he Paffef fed., So much by way of Epistle, and now to Drink a Stirrup Cup with my Difconfblate Generals, while my Grooms are Saddling my Horses for me to Ride after my Dominions, with which, for all that I tec, are making posthast from me. But before I get into the Saddle, I cannot but Communicate a Paper of the same Nature as you favour’d me with, in Yours, and which a Monk, now in Irons, has thought fit to difperte about the Camp. Without doubt the Wits, give themtelves Airs at Paris and you will oblige me in your next Packet with a Bundle or two Directed to C •

Madrid, if the Enemy are not in pof feflionof it. i / e The Coupe dilfclat. A BALLAD. A Kid of a Prince had a Whim in his Brain, To Bluster, Talk Big, and to make a Campaign, As his Courtiers and Pimps, Slaves, rufeans and Teizers, Gave about: he was Braver than all i the T welve c^fars, And according sto Customs of Heroes in Story, Laid his Leg ore his Horse in purs Suit of bright Glory. But before we go on, it is just you Should hear That this Potentate s Title was not o re above Clear, ‘And V

And another laid Claim to the Growm hepofsefs’d, refblv’d to dispute whose Pretensions were best. Though with Handfuls of Men he kept Armies at Bay, And his Troops stood in need of Provistons and Pay; % \ I Jid de Con, Said the King, tei my C oujin Vandofme, ^ ^ willy that he Hr ike not a Stroke till I come, For by all that is sacred.irrb^zjttvt in France, “, iie that Pays au the Fiddlers, fjould make one in the Dance, And ids well ut in prahice both there and both here. That the Kjefer comes in at the Death of the Deer an(l away Rid the Courier with his Orders in Hand, To give the Stern Duke the Sage Word of Command, Who with much ado did not the Bat, , begin, Like a Dastard more Furious the more « he’s held in. I When

when’at last the Bold Monarch the Camp does approach, As Sleek as a Hair and as Sound as a Roche. Having llip’d from the Sparks, ASCENTS, and in Flats, That waydaid himto send him to 1 ‘ • • r his kinsman at Grafz. / .. I Hone fit Coz. you may fecy I am come to you at laby ad I give you my Thanks from my Soul for whaf s fahj For my Grandfather t eds me I have, marry have. 1, A Man that rviumatch with this hsiicr of Savoy. But fufpofe you and I Jlef d a little ■ th^de. For Buttets, you knowy may unhappk ly Glide, Andfpoil yhe Discourse of a Monarchy whose longne Is never fo fweetlyy and nicely well r Hung; That Tower methinks about a League froth the Guns, Is a delicate Place for my self and my ons

ivhtit your Majejly ‘ ^leafesy your Servant Obeys, V Tm not for a Pall of a Poe that will Graze, And nothing dijcovers a Judgement that s Deep, ‘More than this very Choice of a Turret f’) Steep.’ When is the Word, in the • Rear and the Van, Shoulder your Pikes and your Miif^ quets each Man As they Filed off by Sound of Drum, Trumpet and Clarion, Like a parcel of Ravens to Feast up carrion. « But see iiow Daiibe Fortune puts Rubs in their way, And the Guests that would be, are themselves made the Prey j. smlt — diacps upon ’em with his cursed Hussars / Fierce all as Lyons, and Cloathd all like Bears, And the Enemies Army Advancing in Order, Makes thqir Ottt’guards^ like Wret* dies Expiring, cry Murder; A.. While

While every batahion had a Share in A thef^ht,, kndi Squadrons as ghastly prepar’d all ; for Flight, But their King, like a Man, stands a far off in Sight. Their King, that’s the Word, they ; Woul^ his Nam Makes etn ftandy and draw ufy and make ready for Shame, I While they fall, by their whom they came to Atfack^ ^ Arid Retreating, Receive their Deaths , Wounds in their biirrl < * As Thousands on Thoufandsjin Clusters a are laid,.. And the Fields look like Mountains with Heaps of the Dead, As the Victorious lead onto ^thefight,, ^, V and.the that Survive, owe their Lives to the Night. God d Merryy cry’d Philip, it is wei vri it s no worse’ ‘ had surely been iou.^d afl^ both Foot ‘mlhjhhorfej

Buty AS Good Luck would have ity tjjai dropped from the Cloudsy Lon Darkness hus favti all our Fugitive Croudsy ^ its as plain as the Nose on my Face Heavens free ’enij Wherefore Light np some candlesy and Chant out Te Deum; Jn the mean time I charge ycy both Spaniards^w French, Lake your Spades in your Hands y and to Worky and Entrenchy For its Nonsense all every both my Kjnfman and I knowy That an Aynty Prefervd by afjiuame divinoy Should prefumptuoujly dare to Expose what it Gave, Or Venture those Lives which it thought fit to Save i ‘ ‘ ‘ ■ ■■ ■ • ■ ‘’ AS for my Party howevery Tm gauid and have ‘Eidy My Grandfather says 1 mufi Home to Madrid, And awhile lay afde the fern Looks of a heroy To Consult on Affairs with Old portq Carero,.

J Jay my tie ad in his Lay tphile he scratches my pauy And send out my Writs to Affemhlethe statcy For Tm told notmthfianding this Grace from the Heavensf My Dominions in Spain lie at Sixes and ‘ Sevensy And Heretical Troop land in Swarms on my coajlf Wherefore Sirsy adieuy I mull Home by. ihf ?ofi. I And Adieu, could Italia but Speak, Sh had return’d, Her Towns are au ranfack’d, her Houses all burn’d, Her Cities Unpeopled, her Vineyards destroy’d, Atid her Liberty Lost, with the Rights Ihe enjoy’d, Because thou must start up for a Sceptre and Throne, And by Force take poftestion of Crowns not thy own. Now Younker Present your Rich Gifts and your Jennit, The Pope will Accept them, or the Devil IS in it. The

The Penetitms will Truckle and Yield ‘r. ■ V < up their Seas, And the Counted? Toulouse do whatever hell Please, Provided that’s Truth all your Courtiers Relate, “ And these are your and thi$ ^ is your State. “ A 4 But in Vain does Old Lewis with his Fistula in Ano, Huff and Bounce, and say Tes when the People all say ivn, In Vain does he Boast of your Trophies

and Laurels, ^ ^ And protests that you Thrive by your Scuffles and Quarrels, ’ Your Neighbours at last see the Right from the Wrong, And the Deity minds not your Thanks nor your Song, Since Eugene’s Oblations are Received by the Skies, And the Saints that dwell there have no Relish for Lies. I _. t.. • ^ What a Pox do they care for your Musical Treats? Impostors alone, Love Impostors and S Cheats. -. - ^; V; Rather Rather Sigh for the Lois of your Trinckets and Baubles, And Beseech your kind Stars for an ‘ End to your Troubles, That Davitt no more may brush off with your Mules, While your Guards stand a Gaping and Staring like Fools, That your Arms may not again meet with this Years Milhap*?, Nor your Generals be Caught in your Towns as in Traps. t This would look like plain Dealing, and a Sign of fomegrtce, But where has plain Dealing been teen ‘ in your Race.? Een take your own course, follow. what you ye b^ufi. While your Chaplains and Priests, and your bishops on, Make Bonefires and hang out your Lights in your Streets, And put on yourself in your Peoples Conceits, , _ / _ CL The Times are now come, if the Times you would Seize, ‘For Occastons’ of making Reioycing« “like these’ ‘

hemes for your Songs, And bold up our Hearts by Employing / our Tonguesy Since none can deny but a Prince who fb Mad is, May as well Sing Te iieum for the Taking of Cadiz ^ cc * • 0 Je Le Roy,

Tom Double to his bro there under spur lea there in the Country. \ ’ By F W Efqj 9 . ‘ ‘ i it’s Agreed of all Hands, Dear whig love, that we have lost; the Day but what of thatit’s yoi^r Bulineft yet to keep your Station, and Continue

tinue in the Place where our Noble Friends have fix’d you. Mischief may be done still, and there are other Places to bring Matters to bear in besides St Stephens Chapel. Other Counties have Slighted us enough, but Mr. G — : — izf and Mr. B — Her have Play d the Devil with our Party in the County of Cornwall by their Church of Eng < Interest, as the Vnfound call it. One might have thought, you might have stuck in an Obstacle or two, and hinder’d the First from flinging out of the List of Parliament six of our best Friends, or given fbrae obstruqion to the Latter, in his being either made Choice of himself, or in < the Election of those he put up. But in all Changes of Government,; Things run on with a high Hand at jfirst, and you can as fbon Still the Winds, or bridle the Fury of the o cean, as stop the Raging of the Multitude in its full Career. We have Money enough to Maintain us, and lie quiet till Matters Cool, and come again into their Natural course, and thanks to our slippery Fingers in the late Ministry, we are not without wherewithal when this Nine Days Wonder

Wonder ce^fes, and the People ar gone Home to their Homes, to call ‘em out again, and Purchase a Mutiny of any Price whatlbeven. Sedition, Boy, Sedition is thy known ^ Tallent, and a Whisper or two in a Country feilow*s Ear, with a Piece of old in his Hand, will do Miracles. Your Instructions therefore that bear this Company, and are Signed with the Signets pf the Committee of Riots and Tumults, are nicely to be pbferved, and put in Execution. The way for us and our Noble Friends to come again into Play, is to put on the Appearance of Sanctity, seem mo deratly inclin’d, and prctendedly Affected to Church and State, though we Hate both, and Wish nothing more than cither’s Ruin. You are a while to Commend the Proceedings of that Parliament, whose Elections you have hitherto oppos’d, and Insinuate yourself by Degrees into the Conversation and Affections • r of those People that have been your chiefest Enemies, du Matters Ripen, and the Season gives you an Opportunity of coming to Action. This Gen tlmttn U our Friend says the Mob in

a Trice,. Cnw, Siry Here s a Health to the Queen and Parliament; Drink ir, though it goes down like the Poyfbn of Afps with you, and give cm to understand with what a Sincerity you Wish the Continuance of the Government, and the Three Estates now Astembled at vveflminfier* However you may give a Sigh by the By, and ask em whether they have heard the News, tell em you are loath to give Credit to it, but if you are in devonjhircy Glocejlerfhirey Somerfe> Shire, or any of, the Clothing Countries, that you have it from Good Hands That the Members belonging to thole Counties are great Sticklers against the Woollen Manufacture; If you keep your Residence in Cornwai, or Wales, That you are well aftur’d, Lead and Tin will be declar’d Contraband Goods, _ 4, ^ ^ this Session, and a Penalty put on Such ^ as presume to Work in the Mines; If m torkjbire, That Horse Racing will he out of Doors, and that there must he no Such thing in Being as a Collier or a Jocky after Such a time, because of an Act of Parliariient in Agitation, for People to Burn Wood, and Walk a Foot; and the like in other Countries,

as you she their Genius and way of 1 rade. This will infallibly put the whole Kingdom into a Fit of Petitioning, and coniequently we may have Room to Hope for another Dissolution, since without doubt the Parliament will again Assert their own Privileges, and not permit themselves to be preshrib’d to, by a Parcel of ^nshlefs Fellows that know nothing of the Matter. This is the Effect of our Consultations for Ways and Means to get into the Ministry again, it’s left to you to acquaint your Deputies therewith, as Occasion Shall offer. But you expect to hear how Things are at Xo» and whether the Dice rim fb low on the partys Side as they have done in the Country. Why truly, I wish, your Country Chaps were So well Affected to the Caush, and that you had no more reasbn to Complain than we have, tho’, Sir Sam Dajhpqd is at last got into the Chair, and our General Officers that Appeared like fb. many Paul Diacksy or Prince Eugenes, must henceforth, if tfiey destgn to Appear at bum/l Fields, or the Artillery groundyvivn their Canes, or

Battoons of Command, into Pikes and Firelocks. We have still the same Countenance though we have not the same encourag ment, and make use of the Gift of Toleration after the famemethod as formerly webuzscandal about against the present Government like fb many Bees, and in a little time are likely to get up a gain. One of outmcnoiheaimg prm ci£les<t as we call Sores of the Nation has squeez’d himself into the Company of three Church Members of Pariiar ment and great Matters are expected from him, if his stow way of Speeth will give him leave to Cackle for a Comprehenston. Though at the fime time, in the Close of this Letter which requires Dispatch, the very Life and Soul of the Party, the Infallible Lord of has just now pack’d up his Awls, and Received his Credentials for an Em ■ _ ( to the States in the Infernal Regions. Such a Lost cannot be made Amends for under a General, and it’s cny Opinion, that we Dissemble with Heaven on account of the Death of th great ig Piffemulation. I Oar \ Our Mercenaries have been a little Sparing in’ their Pamphlets of late, and have not had a Meeting at the Kings Head in Hotbourn for Some time So that you must content your self till another Occasion with what the Adverse Party gives out about us, and make Obfer? yations on the ijfage yye are to expect from. ero by what they have Said on our Noble Friend in the following Paper of Verses, by way of Elegy ori the Subject pf our Chiefest Expectations, the late .E — of – – – – – – t;; . ! ‘., ‘h’ ‘ ‘. arise, thy Gloomy Seat Re J >. Room for a Sinner s Soul as Black as thine, ^ \ > •’ ‘■ _ T ‘ He comes, he comes, thy Rival in Deceit y Oh! had he been the Partner of thy ■ Fate!,, > dy’d, as he Should, before his injur’d loid •; j’ ‘; ‘ u. Had reason to suspect him at the Board,.. i =’ Before Three Kingdoms to Confust^ ^ brought reveasd the hot the ^ Fault.’ I Th % \

The Royal Exile had not crofs*d the Deep And made us ever Mourn, and ever weep, Left jdio^ to Lament Her Sons D// graccy And Sigh for Wrongs were done to Stuarts Race, As Natives chose with Foreigners to join, ‘ But we had kept our Pritiiee and kept our * But Tears are Fruitleis, and our ‘ Wishes Vain, We lost the Blessings of his Golden Reign, blefsngs which none, but Such a Saint could give, And as we ceafs’d t’ Obey, he ceas’d to Live, * hurry’d to Joy above, from Grief below. His Pleasures more transcendent than his Woe, As Heavenly Crowns fdr Earthly make Amends, ■ And Faithful Angels, for Unfaithful Friends. N ‘Thoa :

Thou for our Good against thy Lord didst fide, And but for thee we all had stmd and Dyd, Had surely falsn in our Forefathers Guilt, But for the Precious Blood thy Treach ry, Spilled. When Superior in Ostence, Euin d us afl by Ruining his Prinqe, deny’d his God, his Master to Betray, And made us to the worst of Foes a Prey; Ridiculous Abroad, and Fools at Home, That brought Jeh^ Calvm in to Conquer: As he put on the Patriots specious Name, And truck’d his m.d. Conjcience for our shawe I

< Such be the Fate of thole that Kings Deceive, As this false peer’s for whom we cannot Grieve, ^ M j ‘■ ’ whose departure not an Eye is . wet,, ^ f a ^ f ‘ ^ ^ ‘ Bat those who Mourn his dying ifl their debn

Not, that the Mush So unmerciful would shem, As to Show rhercy to a Fiend like Hirif, Or wish Betrayers of their Country > Dead Like Men of worth and Honour in 5 their Bed; Far be the wish and distant the Destroy Vengeance is heav’ns and Vengeance Heav ns require. JL •’ .> < r Racks, Axes, Gibbets, Halters be their Fate, So Death But come, Death come at any rate. It leaves its Easy, when it stiatches Hence Men full of Mischief as they’re full of. Sensh, Able to finish Harms they dare begin, j^nd impiously fiiccessful iri their Sin. I brad/baw as Judge past’d Sentence on his King, But brad/baw$ crime was quite another. thing. He from the first abhorrd the Regal name,. And in his Principles was still the fardel Still carry’d on the Cause he took in Hand,,. An Imp to Such a Devil as S — – – – K shiits

Shaftshnry next tls Experiment would try., And dar d his Monarch as he daf d the Sky Trod in the steps which his Forefathers chose, Open and still declar’d against his Foes, Curling the sacred Prince whom others blefs’d, And fhew’d his Tympany of Hate confess’d, As he for Anarchy reveasd his Thirst, And his Last link of life was like his First. I s But what are these (though these have to their Shames i _ I deferv*d the Sharpest Pains, and Hottest Flames) To One that’s read in evry trick of State, Without all Friendship, and within all Hate? f Honest in fbeech, but in Performance Base, Deformed as much in Mind as in his Face, A Ibrd in Title with a Taylor s Mien, A Saint when Shown, a Devil when un ieen

Methinks I see him carry’d in his:) Chair, f His Looks compos’d, amidsi his in v’ mosl Care, CHIS Peruke Set in Form, and Nicely to a Hair. J * The star and Ribbon dazzling at his Side, In form all Meek nefs, but infatf all Pride. Studious and calm th unhailow’d Statesman sits, And meditates on Choice osihs by fits. How to Unhinge or Change the present Scene, And bring in Knaves to Court where Knaves hare been, Or bent on different Thoughts for different ends. employ’d in Safe Advice to give his Freinds, Should Parliaments long Hands attempt to Reach At heads once more, they once Thought fit, t’impeach. I. . And these Alone have reafbn to repine, His death has basely baulk’d a late design. < In vain has Coach and six with Leefh of Peers, Drove down to A — p to dishlole their Fears, K 2 And

And lay their heads together, to prevent Inquiries from another Parliament. ^ Yonder the Sage in Deaths embraces lies, Unable now to Speak or to advise, 1 oft is their Journey, in his Life thats Spent, And they re come back as wise as e’er they went! !

There’ let him lie, he there deferv’s to dwell. Lord President, if Pluto please, of H — • Nor should I mourn who weep my country’s Wrong, And Europes Peace late barter’d for a Song, Should those who taught their Master to Divide ard Govern, in the same Abode reside, Good Maxims turn to Bad, if ill apply’d. Charon perhaps is batter’d out of Cafe And would Resign his fugy and Admirals vic, e • Old Maynard may be wearied by the Seat Abd for Quietus eft at Court Appeal And ten to one but we can find a F — To manage Qafty below as well as here and

And give as just Accounts as e re he gave, For who can Show a Lord that is a Knave? * % If things go So, as Matters rightly should, And People there must Bake as here they Brewd Remember, Judas, if that Office falls, Let M — ds Solicitor be Sr J — • H — Your Council, for of Saints I cannot Speak ill, Honest, approv’d, deep Learned S — nt j — Tours, ci

Tom. Double. ^ % \ %

.*• * f • whiglb’ve’s Answer. 9 the same Hand, 4 9 \ god a mercy Master Double, Say I, this is not a Time to give cur Selves up to Melancholy, though unfore K 3 Seen

Seen Accidents have interven’d, and put aside the Scheme of Astairs we had So happily drawn in the conclusion of the late Reign. I was always of opinion that immoderate Grief was never good for Fat Folks, and most of us, you know, that have had fourteen Years to pick up our Fiefh in, are as Pkimp as Plenty can make us. Believe me, it has not been want of Diligence oo my fide, that you have hitherto received no better News than 4 what the Exigencies of our present Circiimfiances allow me to Send I have made as aood Use of Gold and Silver as it could be put to, and have scatter’d it as freely, as if I had been retain’d on the fide of the Proverb to prove, Lightly come Lightly gone. But the devil’s in the Fellows, I think, all the Cry is, jvd. 11 be of Queen ann’s Si they mtlrry will we She’s the hest ivoman in the i{jngdom^ and the Party that is mojl in Her Interefiy mufi of Confluence be the Befl. Hearing of Her majefty’s Design to Visit the Bath, I was refolv’d to make Some Observations on Her Reception in the Places She past’d thro’ in Her Journey thither, but I fbon wilh’d my r

myself back again, when I Saw how Cordially the People of both Sexes, and of all Ages and Degrees paid their Respects to Her. I was ready to Curse my eye»fight for beholdidg an Object fb diftaftful to it, and the joyful Acclamations of every stander by, but my self, was Death in the Highest Degree. Tou, Son of a whore i you Said I to my Right hand Man, h^here a Plague was you Bred, that you Affront a Lady of Her Majefl: y*s Qmlity with your Whoops and your Hallows? Do you think She was Bred in a Mill, and be damn’d to you? And is fb Deaf that She can’t •. hear you without stretching youe Throats after this Unmerciful Rate? Less noise, and more Manners, or the queen will have you laid by the Heels, ril tell you that. A Jacobite a Jacobite said the Fellow next to Me, Away with him to the next Pond by the Massa Pretty sort of an impudent Dogy to Check us in our joys for our Gracious Queen s arrival and if I had not clap’d Spurs to my Horse!! certainly undervi^ent the Difr cipline of the Place, for being ‘fb un feafbnable in my Advice to them, while I ought to have been better advis’d myself, fc 4 Were

Were you to see how indefatigable I am in my daily endeavours for the Service of our Noble Friends, you would Pity me amidst my struggling against the Strivings of the People. There is not a discontented Man within a hundred ♦ ‘ ^ Miles of me, but I pay him a visit of Condoleance, and whet him up to a continuance of that Temper he has lb Luckily falfn into \ not a Mimjler of the Gojpel) but I by putting his hand into mine, fb fashion his Soul, that he Speaks my Sense in an instant, and interprets the Scripture according to my Explication be the pretended word of God never fb inconsistent with the Holy penman’s true Meaning. About a Fortnight since, one of the Preachers in my Pay, receiv’d orders from me, with two Pieces in the letter to Harangue a certain Corporation that had been too Loyal in my opinion in making Choice of Members which were Zealous for the Ceremonies of the phurch, and after the queen’s own Heart. The words of the Text were. Is there any evil in the City which the lorlhas not done? Brethren, Said the Pulpiteer; there is no question to be made, but you have heard this Text ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ explain

explain’d to you before this time, and Concur with the Commentators on the Interpretation of this Piece of Sacred Writ, that this Malum pcen^y as they call ixjtheevil ofpurnflfmentf, om&s upon Siri ners permimvely from God. But the Almighty is himself abually angry with this rough for the offences lately commit ‘ted against him, in rejecting the two Members of Parliament he propos’d to Your choice, by the Hands of his Servant, Your Pastor and Teacher. He has P W f, brought this evil upon you, he has been in person the efficient Cause of the sea vor now amongst us, the Author of it, in order to bring you back to Your selves again at the next day of Election, that you be no longer a Sfumhling Block to the chosen People of israel. You cant, imagine the Effect this pitiful Discourse had upon the Multitude, Away goes Mrs Mayorefs to her Husband. Dear Mr. Mayor, invite the good Man to dinner, is the next word, and the corporation Mens Wives are in Such a Ferment, that they simper till they are re^dy to Boyl over with Commendations of the Doctors way of delivering self. My Good Man, i’ll engage for him. Says s says one, he stiall have no Hand for the future in calling down Judgments upon us, and I wish I may be hangd if I did not think there was Something more than ordinary in the Matter, when my Boy Johniji fell sick of a hidden, without any notice of it, cry’s another j till the Silly Fellows their Hus. bands were forc’d to promise to give their Votes for such as the Parfbn Said would keep away the Sickness from em for the time to come. % Your Instructions came very well tim’d, and I hope I have delerv’d fb well of the Gentlemen that drew ’em up, ‘ as to make ’em think they Shall be put in execution to the Minutest Article. One. repulse Shall never Baulk a Man of my intrepidity, Audaces For ^ tun Juvatf is the word, and st Fig for those that cannot make a second attack, after being distapointed in the first, I will make a Lodgement at last. Or be Buried in the Ruins of the Place, I fix my Battery against. But Money Mr Double, the French Kings Key to the Confederate for treffes, must not be wanting; and since my hand’s in at Latm by difeourfing the Country parsbns, I must deal inge nuousty

nuously with yon, and fling in another Scrap by informing you that Fundo fetjpi* rat Nummus in imo. Our hundred Pound Bags are brought to fifty, and out of ^0000. S Collected for the publickuse, there are but Three remaining in my Hands, And among us to lose a Sheep for, a half penny worth of Tar, is the Devil. You know I must have Poundage, or I Shall fail of my dexterity in fingering the Pelf when we come in Play again. Confider my employment is Painful], and a Man that keeps Company with the Saints, and is in private with em, must, Spend his money, or all the Fat will be in the Fire. Sack holds up at two Shillings a Bottle, and your Brifiol Sherry, must be of the best price, or the Aldermens Wives will never be persuaded to wheedle their Husbands out of the Duty they pro mis’d the Queen, at her honouring them with her Royal presence in those parts. Now I talk of Bristol, it puts me in Mind of a Copy of Verses handed about here, one Bonny a Printer, they Say, had ’em lent him from Some body or other in that Town, and probably they may be as new to you, as yours have been to me, which our Friends in these parts have Shown the utmost abhorrence of, though

tho’at the same time, I willi knew the Author, for he seems to be a Man of Bitter Frinciples, and adapted much, to our pur pofe, would he turn his pen, and like the rest of his Brethren, write Pro and I peak abopt the Lines on the E — • fs —, as to our Country Difticks, they run after the following Title and Manner. I The Court Reformation. 4 % ■ * f } great Zeal in Reforming was fhew*d the late Reign, But our Wiser Reformers were puzied in vain, The rules they prefcrib’d us to model the Nation, Being quite the Wrong end of a true Reformation. ■tis true we most sagely cry’d Popery “down; But at the same time were by Whigs over run. The Mitre was tumbling, the Nation undone; And we fufer’d thole ills, till it came to that Pals The Church was revil’d while distenters found Grace., While

While Saints in Pretence with their Faces awry, Gave their Hearts, and their Tongues and their Actions the Lye, As divisions and Schifins were the Favou* » rites in Chief, And Men of no Faith were esteem d for Beliefy As Cal’ztwy and Lmher^ and the rest of that Sort, Were receiv’d all like Angels in City and Court, And abundance of Postures and Whims in devotion. Made Religion appear nowhere elfe but in Motion. Our pious Lay elders kept a Rattling and Roarings To cry down the sin of Adult ry and Whoringy But all to no purpose for their words were but Wind and their Teachers themselves have been fleshly inclin’d, Elfe he that dares say that a bijbops’gdte Pastor, Had a Bastardly sort of a Sinners disaster’ \ Belyes the Goodman, counted fbber and . found. And who ner sows his seed in another ‘ Mates Ground. So for want of Example their Zeal was in Vain, And we still did relapfo to our Vices again. Our Youth were train’d up like a parcel of Fools, And went out of the Road in purfoit of their rules, By the Means of their Guides lost in Darkness and Night, ^ ■ And wisely mistaking things wrong for things right. But thofo of more fonfo saw how matters were varied. How Precepts .Drew lame, and good Manners mifoarried. How Canaan (once blefs’dj grew a dif folute Land, And the People amus’d, were like Sheep at a stand; Had their Zealous Reformers but chew’d them the way They all might have follow’d, not wander’d Astray. Hew I V

4 To the Jjiying’. *4? How Foreigners fed on her Milk and her Honey, How Knaves by Alturance, and Fools by their Money, Were rais’d to Preferment and Places of Trust, But Merit deny’d to the Wife and the Just. ‘ How Canaan too long under this Burden stood, A Nation defign’d fiiperficialy Good, Only Zealous in Show, and true Virtue neglected, Some Vices encourag’d, and others pro teofed. Thus often Quack Doctors do Patch up a Sore, But leave the wound gangreen’d and rotten at the Core. \ How our Senators too had a Natural Itch t’oppress the poor Natives and favour the Rich, ‘ How Laws were provided to punish Small Cheats, But none left in force to make them pay their Debts How

How these Greivances long unregarded did Pals, How Knaves were encourag’d, and Fools were in Place, ^ ^ _ How Canaan too long was a Sufierer in this, Her Laws all abils*d and her Monarch Remiss. But in whose Feign we are wisely protected, judg’d the Heart was in Pain, while the Limbs were infected. And therefore refolv’d new examples to let, By Reforming the Church to begin at the States So a cure fb’ has apply’d to our ling ring Disease, And the Remedy fbon will our Murmuring appease For ne’re, to be lure, can the govern ment fail. Where honesty, Virtue, and merit prevail. Her pruience done Inch a Change codl have wrought So much above Thanks and fo much abovt Thought ‘Nd

No more tiiufl: gay Fools at Preferment aspire, Or Bastard be rais’d for the Deeds of his Sircj ^ No Loon of a Scot for Rebellion be made The Chief of a Church which he falsely betray’d, Or advanc’d high in Grandeur fit closh by the Helm, As a Pilot for those whom hd fain would o’re whelm. No S — n — nd rise by the fall of his Lord,, Or blacken his soul to be call’d to the Board, TT” “ ■ ^ ^ No Wh — n give Judgement in States mens Affairs, f * ^ ‘ Nor //• — wrigle his Head among theirs Who have known hini too Well to

/ admit him Once tfiore. That is fweird to a L — d by out Running on Score. No ignorant Peer be prefer’d in the \ , State,, - ^ J And by Bribery and Cheating grow C , Vicious and Great,., fi ‘ Nor Extravagant Courtier be shelter dy from debt. ‘ Ij t No

No Sycophant now Shall at Court be carefs’d, Nor Fools with fine Titles and Favours be Graced. ) \ No tampering Priest for pluralities stand, / Nor runaway Lord be adorned with Command No Arrogant Fop that Some Fool recommends, Grow rude to his Betters and Strange to his Friends : No lubberkc^fquirc from Dung hillt and Dirt, / In hopes of Preferment to Town! Shall resbrt # ‘Nor Sell in the Comtry to purchase I at Court Lj t * No Cherrycheek’d Girl, Show her’s Bubbles and Face, / ^ whose Father in hopes Shell findv Favour and Grace ‘ Tl Dips his Acres to get her a Maidenv Heads Place. > J No limber ham Lord Shall at Kept whores Petition Prefer her Relations to cjourt, and Commission, No

No Noblemens By blows be Ladys of Honour, Nor Orphans, nor Heirs any more be undone there. , / I Now Court hangers on find it vain to be Dull, 1 Since merit alone, not interest Shall rule. Now whigs Shall again put on fbrrow full Faces, Having mourn’d for the they must mourn for their Places Whores, Panders, and Buffoons will find to their Cost Their quietus’s sign d, and their Purchases lost. ‘

• Then dmd.ttn rejoice in Your gene robs Queen, ^ Since nothing but Goodoefs at Court shall be Seen; To Heavh and Bright Anna Your Or blations prefer. For the old Golden Age is reviving in her, tieir Prudeme alone Idch a Change com have wrotmht. o So much above Thanks and fd much above Thoughts

Old Saturns fam’d Times Seem again to draw near, And Gur Hopes have at last got the best of our Fear, As a princess thats English fills en glands high Throne, By Birth) by Religion) by affeihon out Own : And long may She live what She holds ■ ‘“to maintain, Superior to France and Superior to Spain, As her Armies abroad keep her ene< mies in Awe, And her Fleets far and near to the 0^ cean give Law. I leave You to make proper refle dloos on ’em, and to Judge whether there is not feme truth in the Substance of ’em, whatever the Verstficatiori * may be. Your Country Squires may not be So ready witted as your Court end of Town Writers, but they are more obstinate, which is the more to _ my Sorrow who am entrusted with their Conversion. — is a Surprising Loss but H — and — - roust awaken themseives, and be the more diligent to Supply the Want

of him: Give my most dutiful Acknowledgments to’em, and acquaint’em, that whatever they command or write, Shall be punctally obey’d, and dispers’d by Tour Faithful and fnofl obliged Servant,, Timothy Whiglove. 1 . • «

.• I ]o\mt> – – hydhe?h^fk^i cal Pf interf 0 John Y — d ^ the Scribe. < 9 IN the Name of John Milton of Rebellious memory, and his Seditious Baok,, thy Profane Amintor; what a ‘ Murrain ails thee? Not a line these ^ Months and upwards to comfort our de cay’d Spirits, or revive a Party that is not it self, unless thou draw’st thy Pen » in defence of it! This is insupportable, and unwbrthy of thy Profession and Charaster. For shame, thou Champion of the Good old cause, thou Dymock in Vindication of Treaibn and hypocrisy, cast L 7.

an eye upon thosh whose Lies are upon Thee, and whole Expectations are fix’d on the result of thy unwearied Diligence and Study. Tim. Tyrel and I have look’d like two Fools together, ever Since thy Absence from us; and if it was hot for a certain kinsman of mine, who like the Saint whose Name he writes himself by, hears the Qrofsy and furnishes the press with Matters of Discontent, the Founder, for his part, might take back his Letter again, and my hoofe in B — mew close would be as unfrequented by Men of Scandal, as my farioi Church is by Men of Morals and Integrity. , Thou knowefi John what a blessed Trade we have driven • and after this J Knowledge of thine, can’st thou be of Such obdurate Principles, Such an un compaffionate Temper, as to forget thy old Freind, who next to Dick Baldwin that reffs amongst the Saints (if a turbulent Spirit may be Said to do So) has encourag’d thee in thy unrighteous lun dertakings, has paid thee thy Price to the utmost Farthing, has shelter’d thee from Pillory and whipping Post * and, aster all the Indignities thy dear Perfbn has been threained with from Parliaments,

merits. Convocations, and Uoiverfiries giv’n thee, a Support fiiitable to the malignity of thy Writings, and proportionate to the Name thou hast gain’d to thyself by ’em amongst thosh who contemn Authcrities, and Speak evil of thofe^who are accustom’d to do Goodj and have made it their practice in Places of high Trust and Dignity. We know the ireafbn’s that have carried thee from dicps Coffee Hoofe to the Court of dattnover^ but we are fiirprizm at thy stlence in Print at a time when those of a Republican Genius, of thy dearly beloved Constitution, are in the utmost Confusion;; Anarchy itself Seems to Shake off its difbrder, at the Sight of a Reign fb regularly carried on, and illustrated with Such exactness and Decency, as is the present Administration. My Lord of S — - openly declares himicif net a Jot the better for a Visit he has made, but Money out of Pocket; and for all that we can See, there is such a harmony at present between the two Courts, that thou wilt Scarce come back from thy present Restdence with New medalsy that So little deserv’d the Qll L 4 Would

God, say I, the Qermm, Pawnbrokers had sunk tby Pieces of Anticjuity, and her Highoeff’”? Prefenis were got into the Hands of the Ungodly, like those of other Writers; that thou, like other writers, mightst perform the Duties belonging to thy Station, and fet thyself at w’orfc to fet other People together by the Ears, in. this unseafbnable Calm and Serenity which the Nation enjoys under the late Change of Government. Tempests and Storms bring the most Fisti to fbme Peoples Market, and while the Nation is in a Ferment, and cilcompos’d, then is the time for us, like Common Pilferers, under the Pretence of Putting out the Fire, to, run away With other People Rights; to found the Trumpet for the Preservation of our Liberties and Immunities, while we are a striking at the Foundation of those belonging to the establish’d Church, and laying the Axe to the Bottom of the Tree to root it out, and extirpate the very lyiemory of its Being from future Ages. ‘ But whence can Tempests or Storms arishs when’ that Mouth of the Party which is only capable of railing’em, is lost in iiience, and wholy employ’d;

when he that gives Being to ’em sits Idle a far of, and though he may be Serviceable at heme, makes it his Choice to be unserviceable Abroad, amidst his Pretences of Zeal and Affection for the Caush, he has next to those that maintain him to Support it, Shown himself the Greatest Promoter of. Awake then, that I may call in my Journeymen, and make a Hurry in my Way of bustness, precede that of thine; leave a Court that is past Temptation for a Kingdom where Tempation may have its desifd Success, that we may once more in General Sit at our Calves . # Head Feasts without Molestation; and i in Particular Sing psalms on a Sunday in my Parlour again; while my Servants in the Garret work Tooth and Nail to get ready Seditious Pamphlets Soon enough to be cry’d about the Streets next Morning. The whole Fraternity of distenters entreat it, the Tribe of booksellers wish X it, the Legion of Mutineers Petition for it, and honest Tim — in a more Particular Manner holds up Both his Hands for it, that your Arrival in these Parts, may ennable him to go on with his Voluminous Undertakings, and now his BT k r. ■■ ‘’ -• : £■.. y / * / mwtbeca

hliotheca. Politka, is out of Doors, be ast fistanc to him in giving Disturbance to the Learned and Loyal, by fbme other Pestilential Tracts of the same Nature as the Former As for my Part, you know my refb i lutioo, and how streniiousty I have born the Funifhnients that have been inflicted on Me for Former Things of the Time Nature of your Gbmpofltions. Another Sydneys Works or hurvtng* tom Oceana, would be exquifirely brought forth for our Purpose j and a second Book entitled. Anglia Libera with (bme Chains in it for our Antagonists would not in the least be dista greeable. But you are never at a Nonplus for a Title, John Toland, with John at the Bottom must sell it, let the Book be what it will; however, that I may more effectually persuade you to take your Pen in hand, read the Verses annex’d to this, and you will as fbon be out of Humour with as that Court will have reason to be with you; and if you would not be ferv’d there as you have be en in your own Country, quit a Place must be uneasy to you after the Following Lines

A full and true Account of the whole Life and Conversation oiaohnt — late of the Order of St. Francis now a pretended Enemy to all Christian Order and Dishipline, in hopes to bring the Nation into the me Difbrder, which his Predecestbrs of Impious Memory, brought about in the Year 1641. pu blifh’d to let the World know what he I that the Court of Hannover may not beleive him to be what he U nou m Jn false Hibernia s Climate first His Dawn of Life began, A Nation with no Venom curb, That had no Foifon born or Hurfd Tilt in this monstrous Many

Whence having learn d his Trade apace. Brought ug to Fawn and smile And furnifia with a Brazen face, TF inheritance of ireland*s racay He left his Native ijle, * / \ Left it to travel in Pretence And cultivate his Mind, Tor eturn Homeward fraught with sense With reafon wit and Eloquence And all the Virtues of his Kjnd I

Bm other Motives made him choose The Schemes wkh he had laid: J Mteiigion was too much in use id»d he would not a Moment lose To have its Rights betray d, » Wherefore with Friars Hood and cow^ Amidfi the Priefis he wenty their Robed, to make his Soul d” a^p^ar less mifcheivous and fouly And hide his black Intent, \ Thence having fucpd whatever coudy Pernicious prove or Bafey He flung apde his Coul and Hoody And ftid oppoflng au was good Found out another Place, Born amidst Bogs, to Bogs he fled And Kens and Quagmires chofcy ‘ Fearless to Show his wicked head among/l a scandalous People bred To fide with Virtues foes, V Here undifguipd he took a View Of each diuinb Perfwaflony And picking dobrines old and new From a Religious false and true Came back to hus own Nation, And . 1 ^

“ani there like Emfericks that dish’ ‘Juice from Poifmus Roots Something or other false anti III Was ever dropping from his Qjii& To Pervert fenfeu/s Brutes t When hy Permijfion rampam Gfown^ And mild adminibration, He sate up to affront the Throne And Heterodox Opinions own Quite opposite to Salvation m His Country s Senate took to Hearty The hepefies be spread. And with Religion taking part, H had fufferd Pillory or Cart, But he from Censure fled’ ‘ From Dublin to Augusta Driven, He for a while fate Jlilly And spite of his Malicious Leaven,. Here troubled himfelfwithhell nor Heaven ■, But looked and ftapd his fill, 9 \ tiu Grown acquainted with fame Lordsi That then were Great at Court, And Kjpt him at their Beds and Boards, For blafphemoufiy venting Words, And making Heavn a Sport Down N

Down was the Wretch to Oxford sped To taint Religions Streams And at bright Learnings fountain head* To ffrinkle doilrines fisould mislead Her fons from Learnings Beams But au in vain his old dijguife Here ineffeolual provd^ And th his Countenance precise Had often cheated others ejtesy From hence he was remov’d, As Aldrieb, to his lajhr^ Fame Stood up for trutvs support And sent him hack from whence he came With Fallacies and Precepts Lame THIS Friends again at Court, t 4 So Vagrant fares when Wandering Caught Far 0^ his native home As he from Town to Town is brought fxpopdy revil’d and fet at Naughty And taught no more to Roam, \ His Friends at Court undaunted flood And resolute to perfifly Kjtowing their Instrument was Good AO bring in prauice Schemes were Lewd how’re it then had Mifsd, And

jind frb the ‘Fiend was fet at Work To write and turn plaj^hemerj And worf? than Vnbeleiving Turk. Or Covenanting man of Kjrk Disown ^ bless d Redeeinet* Next, that he might furfue the thread Of his frofane Discourse, Be curs d his kjn£s devoted Head Bis^kjng that as a Martyr Pled And dy d by Subjebfs forces. Tet neither Laws of Government Efifcofal or Civile Were then made use of to frevent ‘The Mischief as it Gathering wenty Or stop this Growing Evil Though Reformation was the Cry That filtd our rukps Throats And Men of seeming Sanctity Sung Ffalmsy and whin d in Places highy To get the Peoples Votes. Though Pie bah’d Pr — tes Preached and The Nation to deceive (* d. And Wept for Piety decay dy Making Religion seem a Trade When we had Cauje to grieve i I Christianity not Mysteriow?, ‘

Till At the lafi the Clergy gain I The Right the Church had lost And Slight of Holy Churle mamtaiif Iufiice wai not to he refrain d By Man in awful Pojl, 9 AS with unheard of Pains and Care The Convocation met And Prolocutor in the Chair, Meld the Religidus bauance fair and prieus in Judgement fat They fdte^ hut what avaifd their Grief To see Religion s Wrongs Or mourn at Atheists Unbelief Or that the Deists rut d in Che if? They might as wed have held their Tonguet No Godlike Anne the Sceptre fwaydj At that Momentom time. But Piety hegleiied laid, Melflef for want of proper aid ‘ And lofi without a Crime Amongf themselves were Brethren found That were the Brethren s (hamcj Who mercenary and Unfoundj, Shrunk back and gave their Enemy Ground Surrendring up their Claim

Such vf ere your Kennet and your Wake That aimd to be prefer And writing for their Patrons Sake Nere minded Blunder or miflake.y But fcribled on and Err d., While Ho oper, Jane, and I (ham prove In vain to fern the Tide And Finch and Aldrich (hewa no Love Than theirs could more fnbsantial Prove On Dame Religions fide As Sp— — and Conii— — — overbid By Numbers with their Party, sigvd to behold bow matters coold, Aytd S’ — ms P — lat, talpd andfchootd Good Men for being Hearty. \ As Upper House too Jealous Grown Of their own earthly Glory, Porfook gods Cause to Plead their own, And make their Privileges known. With mtmy on empty Story, Safe and fireleafd from all his Pear The Brute Triumphant fmild, A ‘ i jc ‘ 1 C ^ ^ 1 ^ AM from hu Accuj at ions clear Rqoycd dt Picks with Voice and Leer As if he Truth had foytd, N . M When

ivhe^ Sets dies hdvirig fixed tiff dir s Relating to the Throne And furnifljed m with future Heirs To Govern iqngdomes should he Theirs Should those we httd have Ione t ia Peer was chase to wifi? em Joy, Of fo frofu/e a Favour And M — field fet out to try, What he could do in Germany itith all his Court Behaviour -., as ‘twos, sitting same should know ~ What sort of Inclination, Their dyofen Susceffor would show, if Principles or High or Low ‘ Were mofi with her in Fashion. V Toland with — les — field fet out With Book in Hand mofi Furious To search, and Pry, and Stare about And tell the world beyond all Doubt How Nice H had been and Curious N V A The Princefi out of pure reffesi She owed the Brittifh Name The worthlefi fool with Presents Decked, Not knowing from ■ what sort of Sell Or Animals he camel Anglia Libera. Which i

I « V V.. ‘ •. ‘ I 0 To the Ltfvingl i ^? Which made him value when return d, His Learning and Deserts As he with Inclination hurnd After such things of Value earn d To go again and fhevs hii Parts, He went again and there Remains In hopes of farther Grace, But oh! tis hop d the Prince that Reigns w0 jpye the Drift of au his Pains And Banish him the Place i Lurking in Court the Itionjler lies The Courtier to misguide. Appearing with uplifted Eyes To grajp Religion as his Prize And huve his God defyd 4 And thou brave Chief rphofe Princely Race Adopted now for Ours Sets out in Honours earth and Chase, And Jhines with a Refulgent Grace Above thy neighpring Pdweis, f Shelter thou not thy Souls Offence Nor show him farther Favour A Brute kke him. wid serve a Prince yufi ds he hds t he Godhead Jince In hi difionourd Aaviour*.

Rather than hie Opinions Chnfe^ To Calvin slick or Luther, Seek any Priest with any Nooze Rather than thy Salvation loje^ Or think too meet with Truth Here i Any Religion thou mufi own In any Jlate of Confcienccy Is better far than to have None To give fone Countenance to the Tyrone Though Luthers is a Nonsense * would do well to reply to him, and by a Second Attempt in Poetry, after your unimitable, Clito give the World to understand, that tho’you are a Teaguelander, the Highland Motto is on your/fide, and join the Scots thistle to your Irish Horn, with a Nemo me Imp une lacejfety ^ I am, t ✓, toursf c John D —

Front a Volunteer at St. Maries to a Friend in London. . /■ T /( tear Friend ^ $ the Fortune of a Soldier, I have travel’d safe hitherto through all the four Elements since I last Saw you; Earth and Air have been all ways familiar to me, but So much Fire and Water as I have run through since my Departure from engund^ without receiving the least Damage, has almost persuaded me to believe I could live in the Sea like a fish without drown ♦ ing, and like a Salamander in the Fire without fcinging my Corps, fb many whizzing mestengers of destruction have terrified my Ears in Some of our Attacks, that the greediest Usurer in Christendom, had he known the danger I stood in, would have been unwilling to have given six house pur chase for my Life in an Annuity, when the Front of the Assailants were fi) woundedly troubfd with the Falling M § Sick’

Sickness, that not one Man in six was able to keep upon his Legs four ML nutes. Death like an III natur’d Curmudgeon having made the Ground So flipery, Providence affording us nothing but the Scent of Sweat, Blood and Gunpowder, to refresti our Nostrils with in So dangerous a Condition; it was wonderful to observe the Cou n rage of our Countreymen, tbolin the most terrible Enterprise; for in Every Attempr, though never fb diflicuk, their Resolution and Bravery still procur’d them success, which Serves as a fuffi dent Demonstration to me, that when I _ fieligion leads an Englifimm by the Nose, and Honour Spurs him in the A — s, ke has heart enough to Shake a Hanmbai by the Beard, or stngly au tack an tlio mounted on his bucephamsl was very much surpris’d at the hardiness of one Fellow, who standing at my righthand had his left Arm took off by’ a Cannonball from one of the Enemies Batteries; upon which he muttered qoc these Words, ) ivhxt an unfonf Whore was I to put my in my left Pockety that now L ta, yt Come at it with my right hand, to refrtih my self

with A Chew, Another Fellow in our Advance happening to lost one of his Legs after the Same manner, cry’d one when he was tumbled on his Back to one of his Companions ivizd) wounia Will.’ I carit forbear thinkitig how well “pleased my Wife will he to see me come ^ Hopping home ttpon one pedejlal Why fo, reply’d the Other? Whjj Says fie, because 1 have lofi that Leg I udd to Kjck her with for folding; and nothing vexes me but that the fade will he apt to tell me, twas no more than a jtif judgement upon mefor making her A — fe a footbas. Thus do they behave themselves with Such undaunted Refblution, that they Show no more Concern for the lost of a Member, than if they thought it Criminal to return home without stcrificing a Leg or an Arm to the Service of their Country; and that no body would give Credit to their Courage and the difficulties they have struggl’d with, except they bring home a maim’d Carcase, as a Manifejlo of their Behaviour amidst the Dangers they have run thro’. I suppose by this tin^je you have beard strange stories of fbme part of M 4 rbg

the Soldiery and the Nuns i I know not how much the snow bau may have gather’d in the rolling, but I alture you the devout sernguo had no other ufase from us than what I am const dent they were well pleas’d with, and were fb highly Satisfied with our Deportment to them, that after we had oblig’d them with all things in our power, to gratiste our Civility, they offer’d to change their Religion, and would have follow’d the Camp; and therefore, whatever was done to the dishonour oi Popery, and the Glory of the reform’d Churches, I hope can be thought no evil by a Tme blue’ pro^ defiant. Some of t>ur Brethren, I must: Confess, after the Inhabitants had de x ny’d us Necessaries for our Money, made bold to drink the Queen of £» gun^s Health in Some of their Wine fellars pretty plentifully; and when they were merry, perhaps, like true con querours, they might Seek out for a few Female Captives, to exercise their Fury upon; but what ever they administer’d to the sptmi[b Ladies I affure you was perform’d with that Modesty and ten dernefs, that I never yet heard one of them Complain of her usage. But on the

the Contrary, the Nuns lik’d us better than their Priests, and the towns wo wen better than their Husbands. I have nothing farther to entertain you from St. Maries of my own; but a Brother Volunteer being troubled with a Rhiniing Scrubbade, has ventur’d to exercise his starving Facultie amongst us upon the foregoing occa ston; and to Show his Wit in an Army, has run the Hazard of being thought a Coward. Whether it will Relish with your nice Pallate when it Comes to your taste, I know not; but I affure you the Bullet headed Critticks among us, notwithstanding the Scarcity of Paper, have hitherto preferv’d it from being made Bumfodder. Therefore I hope, as it is well intended by the Author, it will be So accepted from your astured Friend and humble Servant.

On the Taking St Maries 4 I A P O E M 1 I Containing also some certain Dialogues between the English Soldiers and the Spanish Nuns. whefi Lewis strove, as all agree, For Universal Monarchy And through his cunning bore Such Sway, That kept all Europe at a Bay, Tmpofing on the spdm[h Throne, A Baby Grandfbn of his own, One that himself knows how to rule, As a Quack Doctor does his fool. Who must with ev ry Whim Comply defign’d to Cheat the Standers by. I Twas then the Dutch and Engliflt Fleet, With Force unconquerably Great, Rid uncontrourd upon the Main, And steer’d a Joyful Course to Sfain,

In hopes all to return (God blerus) As Rich as Solomon or cram; But for Some Reasons yet unknown The mighty deed remains undone. Though the Design was well projected. It did not prove as we expected; Some say the Cause we did not Speedy, Was, that fbme merry Rogues in Red Grew tipsy with the Noble Juice, Which Vineyards Yield for Humane ue; And Cocking then their little gunsy They made a sally on the Nuns o’errun the Pious Heavuly Maidsy Though arm’d with Crucifix and Beads. Then flung them on their backs, fbme tell ye, And basely stab’d them in the Belly. The Heroes drew, pufh’d home upon ’em And fev’ral Inches in they run ’em. Whilst they, poor souls, had nothing elfe. But Scabhoards to defend themrel’s; Which is no safeguard, we must own. Against a Blade that’s ready drawn; Yet fbme among the Godly Lasses, So fenc’d, they put by many Passes, Whilst others at their victor’s foot. Sprawling upon their backs, cry’d out, V Nay

ivi^, if 1 mub be Kjlld^ 1 mujiy And So Submitted to the I hruft. These holy. Sisters knew full well, There was no Fence against a Flail | That Conqurours will do what they would do, A And So compiy*d as Women should do. t All though the Soldiers won the Day, And all the Nuns at mercy lay, Whilst ev!ry Hero (till appeas’d) Stuck his fair Captive as he pleas’d; Yet the fuecefs fell out fb Croft, Our fide sustain’d the Greatest Lost; And tis affirm’d in news from Cadiz, That none were gainers but the Ladies. ‘% r But now to let you know what past Betwixt both fides, at first and last, The matter Shall be fairly stated, How sev’ral Nuns Capitulated, . How fbme kind Heroes gain’d upon ’em, And by Soft Elocution won cm, Who Scorning Force, laid by their Swords, And try’d the pleasing powv of Words y A Gallant Youth who led the Van, With his fair vi^imjf thus began; % Bright

Bright Innocence, the Fate of War, Has destin’d me Your Gonquerour; But yet, fair Soul, thole Charming Eyes, Have made me Captive by lurprife; t You need not for compalson liie, i Tis I must mercy ask of you; The fweetnels in your Looks, I lee, ^ 1 Does bind me fast, but you are free • Therefore twoud be but Just and kind, To Show the mercy you would fiod From him, who might by Conquest Claim, What now he craves to Cool his flame. But you the Victors pow r shall have, And I your Victim and your Slave, Will only Beg at your fair Hand, Thole Favours which I could com mand* The Charming Creature much afraid, In Tears reply d, to what he laid; Most Noble Youth, each Gentle Word, Prevails, beyond the fear of Sword; But though you’ve kindly us’d me thus, You still may prove more Generous; Confider i’m a harmless Maid, And know not how you’d be obey’d, Bred up in these, Monastic Weeds, Devoted XQ my Prayers and Beads, Young,

Young, Innocent, and never taught To entertain one evil thought. Religion is my daily Task I know not what it is you ask, If it be sinful I deny, If Inostenfive, I Comply. ‘ Content to ill you must excute I rather you your force should utey For if by Rugged Violence You take from my weak Innocence, What I content not to resign. The sin is wholly Yours not Mine. Madam, the Gentle Youth reply’d, You steer tdwvds Rocks you would avoid. And into Greater Evils Run, Than thote you are about to Shun For if it can be an offence T enjoy Sweet Virgin Innocence, t’attempt your Chastity by Force For Certain makes the Crime the worte i Therefore if you Such Violence Ghufe^ that’s wicked for a Man to use, Which you fb eas’ly may prevent, ^ By kindly giving your consent. heav’n at your door the Guilt will lay, Becaute you chote the sinfusst way, Then dote he hugs her in his Arms And makes a trespafs on her Charms.

0 dearest Youth, don’t ule me fb, Forbear your Force and let me go, 1 will,! vow I will resign, 0 do not let the sin be mine. ‘■ / The next was one of Courier mould By wine made Merry, ‘ Brisk and Bold. Who Catching hold on holy Sister, address’d her thus, but first he kissed her. Madam, says he I vow and swear. You are fb young fb fbft and fair. That i’d not lose this precious Minute, For Paradise and all that’s in it. Therefore my dear to deal ingenious, 1 will be Mars you must be Penus. And in this very House or Mansion, wee’l enter into chose Conjunction be free and I Shall fbon difpatch you, i’m cock’d and prim’d and must have at you. Lord, Sir, the Pritty Nun cry’d our, I hope you’re not defign’d to Shoot, ril grant you all, you can desire. But do not, do not, do not Fire, For if you should i’ra Sore afraid. you’ll kill me, Oh you’ll kill me dead. Next these appear’d st Spruce Caddee, A Beau of Wondrous Nicetie, Who Cheek, And thus the Sop begins to speak, Dar, pritty, Phubs, I vow to gad. You Ladies make us Soldiers rnad. What frigid Mortal can forbear. Sweet Beauty So devont and fair, Nay, frame not fiich an Angry faccj I must attack your gartring Place. Excuse nie Sir 0, let me goej Hor» can you nfe a Virgin foj To no immotiefi Freedoms given. But jveded for her Life to Heaven Cotzooks, tny Dear, why what’s the meaning? By all thats Sacred here s no Linen, Why prithee, Madam, what a pox, Are Nuns allow’d to wear no Smocks. No, Sir, the trembling fair one cry*d, We humour not burr ease or Pride, ■ / We wear courlewoouen next our skinsj As penance for our lefter sins, Faith, Madam, give me leave to tell you,” Byth L — d I fancy that I fmefl you, Like an old Goat me thinks you’re froufie. Besides, my Dear, I fear you’re loufie/ Faith, Madam, you may kfeep for me, Your sanctify’d Virginitie. What

What Sloven do you think would use it. Since you can’t make one shist to loosedt, Give me Good Clean fine Holland lin nen, Fit for a Gentleman to sin in. No ftiiocks ad take me Fd as Soqn^ Cajole a Beggar as a Nun. Come, Madam, says a stander by, ’ That see the Beau So nice and shy, i’ve Seen as Good as he by troth. Make a Good Meal Without a clotsii Faith, Madam, Keener Appetites Will Jump at what his stomach stigshtsj And I triy Self am glad to Choose, Thole Blestings he dildain’d to ule. Have pity on a Maid She cries. Dear Sir, that at your Mercy lies. Pollute not helpless Innocence, Forbear that Crying black offence. Wounds, Madam, lays the nierry Blade,,. ^, Woman for tf ule of Man was made. The Innocence you pleads a Jest, ou would not talk lb to a Priest, I know yon Nuns are but a sort, • Of Pioul Wagtails for the Iport, N. Of

Of Brawny Monks and Priests defignd, Your cloyster’d Life is but a Blind, Therefore ray Dear, be xuot So Shy, You know what’s what as well as I, Therefore don’t struggle but ly still, I vow and Swear I must and will. f Nay, Sir, replyd the Charming Saint, If ycuve So resolutely Bent, In me its Folly Co contend, I must Submit and there’s an End, But don’t. Dear Sir, nay don’t, forbear. Laud, what d’ye do, O there) O there, Nay, now i’ll Swear, yove quite undone, A Nun, O fie, a Nun, a Nun. jl ~ i ‘ The Gentleman in london’s Answer to hh Friend at St. Maries. V r“ “ of your old Companion as well as myself, have made themselves merry over the bottle with your Amphibious Epistle, which partaking of two kinds, and running into thole

those different Elements, Prole sod verse, we thought, might very reasonably admit of fb uncommon an Eph then We are all very Glad to hear that the Goddess has showed her self fb much your Friend as to Protect you by her Shield under all those dangers it has been your Chance to struggle with : But cannot forbear thinking that when the fatal Reaper of the Bloody Field was fb bufis a amongst you in getting in his Harvest, how heartily you wish’d yourself (notwithstanding your Bravery) in a snug Room at the i^ofe with two or three merry Companions over a good Fire and the Bottle, where you would have no worse Enemy to encounter with, than a Battalion of Bumpers, and iio other danger to fear than staggering Ebriety. I must cdhfess I know not how great a pleasure, you wandering Heroes may propose to your selves in the Glorious fatigue of War and Battle; or what a Felicity you can find in the Smarting Experience of Blood, Wounds and Slaughter, rewarded perhaps at last with a Wooden Leg, arid fb hop back again and fhovy your rnaim’d Member as a

crippl’d Testimony df your own Valour, and Affection to your Country; which perhaps no body would have doubted, if you had staid at home, and like a City Politician, given no other than a Talkative Demonstration in e very coffeehouse you come into, of your Loyalty to the present Government, and zeal for the Protestant Religion. But for my part,. I must ac knowledce I am made of a tenderer “Mould, and never could reconcile myself to the Mercenary Trade of man killiog in my Life; and rather than to have fail’d So many Leagues as you have done that had no occaston to run the

V hazard of having my Brains knock’d out Vidtb a Biockheadly Bullet, who has no more respect for a Gentleman, than it has for a pilfering Scoundrel, that the Gallows groans fovi would even have confin’d my self within the | healchfui, limits of ray own Native Country, Swore allegiance to baccht/s, liv’d under the Instuence of venusy and would have been true to the Bottle, and Loving to my Mistress, contented with my present Allowance, and have waited with patience for the ‘ Deatii of the old Curmudgeon, who must

must leave you when he dies, what’s Sufficient to make you happy. All Your Friends, I affure you, are very much surpris’d at your going into the Army, and think it wonderful that you, who had as many fine Ladies under your Command, as ever had solo mon^ could on a Sudden forsake that Charming Seraglio y Oil wcrs .Viiiflcr of f ‘ at home, to hazard your Life abroad for the Embraces of a froufy Nun, who ‘ its likely, has been Friest ridea as often before you had her in Captivity, as Madam P — • was by the Officers of the horse guard, before my Lord — gave fifty Guineas for her Maidenhead. We none of us can Imagine what the Motives were that could induce you fb privately to enter upon a Military Life, when all the pleasures of en gunls Metropolis, waited upon your Appetite, and daily Courted your Inclinations. I heartily wioi you may Succeed well, but I can scarce forbear to think it was none of your own free Choice, but rather a Fate or compul five Necessity upon you, for I cannot believe a Man of your Discretion, if you’d had the power of free Will, yvould have scarce forfbok the Charms

of English Beauty, for Cloistered sptt m(h Gravity, bead boiind to theii; Devotion, the pleasures of domestic penance for the fatigue of foreign War, the Safety of Terra jirma^ for the danger of the Seas; the Conversation of your trusty Friends, for the Company offa ladoiis Strangers; the delights of the Bottle, for the hopes of Noifie Honour, and hazard the welfare of your Limbs, for a budget of Spamfh snush, which .you ‘naay feast your Nostrils with at home for a Penny a day, and oblige your Friends into the bargain. I know you will expect I Should en / you with fbme novelty or other from old engli[h Sodom, that may give your fancy titillatiohj but I protest the whole Town is at present lb deeply engag’d about the success of your Expedition at Cadiz, that Scarce anybody will afford themselves leifiire to mind’ anything but the News Papers. The coming in of every fresh Mai! puts the whole Town in an uproar, and People assemble themselves in fiich Crowds at the Old Exchange, Pauls Church, Covent Garden Piazza, and Wefiminfter Abby, upon the arrival of a Packet boat, and the noise of a new Express,

Fxprels, that the Multitude in the’ Fables, who waited round the Mountain to behold the Monster, could not be in ‘ greater Expectation of a wonderful prodigy, than we are here of fbme stu pendious News or other, of fbme notable Exploit perform’d by the admirable Courage and Refblution of you strolling Heroes; there is Scarce a Crafy Alderman in the City of London but “ has ventur’d half what he is worth . about the taking of Cadiz,, and it is infallibly predicted by Coley, Gadhtivy, and Partridge; That there will be a greater Rot among the Merchants and Traders of the City of Londm upon the Istue of this Affair, than ever was known among the Royal Snippers upon the alteration of the, Coin; Nay the very Ladies pf the Town seem to be fb highly concernd*about ypur taking of St. Maries, and administering humane Unction to the holy Sisters of the Monastery, that they busy their israins about nothing elfe but your manly Exploits with the s^amjb Ladies, and cannot forbear asking every Man of Intelligence, when the Nun firkers come home, as if they were afraid the dextrous deportment of the devout Hin

pocrites (who practice Fornication in Cloisters, and have the Advantage of being well instructed by their lafci vious Priests) should fb far excel the Correspondent Activity of our English Ladies, that they Should quite alienate your affections from your own Country Women, and cause you to have as great a Liking to the Spamjh cur tizans, as a covekf‘garde» Beau has to “Spdmjh Snuff; and that you like Cuckolding the Holy Fathers fb well ‘ abroad, that when you corn home no obliging Punk’ will bear the Price of half a Crown, except she has been first Constcrated by a Priest : As of late no Harlot could pretend to come into a Gentiemanis Company, except she had been debauched by a Nobleman, and would leap over a naked sword, and swear she had rub’d her Modicum with Quality. I have little other news to tell you’ ‘that the whole Nation is fb una V » % « nimoufly satisfym with the Conduct of the present Government, that the very Citizens of London as a Testimonial of their Loyalty,, have, thro’refpect to Female Sovereignity, refign’d to their much Wiser wiyesj, the fble Domination

tion of their Families, and have for Several Months last past, granted them the outside of the Bed, as a Token of their fuprernacy. Pater Noster Row which was formerly one of the most trading Streets in the City, is now inhabited by none else but Pesty coat Shopkeepers; and they begin very much to enlarge their Territories on the right in Cheap Aide; fb that it is Verily believ’d by most of the Moor Astrologers, the City in a little Time (if the Stars can foretell anything) will fall under an amazonian govern nient, and that the Husband must stay at home and Cook the Pot, whilst the Wife takes a Walk to Cuckolds Pomty to get an Appetite to her Dinner. The Meeting Houses, which used to be crowded as full of Hatchet Faces, as the eighteen penny Gallery full of Vi,, > at squintibeuds Play, begins now to look as thin every Sunday as 2l Saturdays Change; for most of the Dist lenting Bucks, who us’d to brandish their Horns beneath the Umbrage of Toleration, beholding a storm xof per fecution at a little distance, have wisely taken Sanctuary in the Church betimes, lest when it falls, i Should break through that I that Paper shelter by which they were before protected. The Members of the Church must Consequently be very much enumerated; but whether to her Glory of Disgrace, I will not presume to determine; but certain it [is) that abundance of Knaves who wer never wishers of her Welfare, are of late crept politicly into her Communion, for fear of being render*d incapable of Employments under the Government, by an Act against Occajioml coftformp ty, which is now on Foot; (b that an unlucky Brood of a wrong Feather, hover now under the wings of the Church, purely for an opportunity of picking up thole Crumbs, which ought in Justice only to be distributed among those harmless Chickens, which stie truly knows to be of her own Hatching. Its enough that the charitable Pelican feeds her own voung ones out of her own Bowels; but if Ihe Communicats through her tender Companion the lame Reliefe to her Enemies, Ihe can expect nothing but to be fuck’d to death, or that her self and, her own Native progeny must be much weaken’d, by luceouring a foster’d Brood with what Should add

to her own strength and prosperity. But these are matters, I am a little fenstble, tooferious fora Man of your Airy disposition: Therefore I shall not trouble your more fpritely Genius with things of this Nature, more becoming the Consideration of a Plodding Cit or coffeehouse Politician • but relapse again into that Levity, which I lee now is much more welcome to a Man of your Kidney. I must needs tell you, Friend, there are three sorts of People, that very much want the Return both of the Army and the Fleet ( viz,,) Whores, Viduailers, and Vintners, who Complain So heavily for Want, that if you tarry much Longer in spaifty youir Absence will work a grear er Reformation in engund^ without the help of Informers, than ever has been yet done by my Lord S — and all his mercenary Society; for Drinking and Whoring, ever since your departure has been growing out of Fashion, for want of Rakes to keep the old Staple Sins of pur Native Country in Countenance. And I affure you as an old Bottle Companion, that the La…. of Admittance are not yet able to creep out of their old Indian Satins, for

for want of your accuftomary eenevo lence; but look as Trapfing as a Par. fbns Wifes Chamber maid, drefsd up in her miftreltes old Cast Offs, to grace a Solemn Anniversary, who notwithstanding the flumpness of her Buttocks, yet looks So Taper about the Heels from the Sleefinefs of her Gown

ft and Petticoat, that a body would think her whole Garment might be drawn thro*a Wedding ring without the least damage to her Condescending Ap parrcl. The Vintners alfb are in a want of you, for towards Charing Cross and vicadtuy^ they have had litcle elfe to do in your Absence, but to transfer the Scores you left upon their Bar boards into their Books, and make ready their Bills, wherein they are very Subject to Prolixity, and put themselves in all Imaginable Order to Salute you, and give you a hearty Welcome Sir, upon your Return to : Whenever they hear you have been upon any desperate Enterprise, the terrible News makes them melancholy for a fortnight, fearing Some unlucky Bullet or “‘ other Should have given them a Receipt in full of Some long Catalogue of

of Articles which they keep, in hopes of being cancell’d after a Better manner. Tailors and Shoemakers drink every day to your Success, and Seem to have as Great a dependance upon your Safe arrival, as the Good People of England, the Rabble, have upon your taking the Plate Elect therefore whatever you do, come not home empty handed; for if you Should, you will find an Army of Moabites stand ready to engage you with little Pocket instruments, that at fbmetimes will make the ‘ stoutest Hero Tremble, and are offuch an invincible Faculty, that if, even they lay hold of you, they certainly take you Prifbners, and with one little Tap of the Back, will stop a Man s Journey, though he be never fb hasty. Sheriffs. Officers and marfhasmen say, they never knew Such a Vacation in their lives, and Swear they believe all the People that owe any money are Run out of the Kingdom. I happened the other night to be steering my Course from the Tavern home about Twelve a Clock, and at the Corner of Brooh Street ^ Stood a. Female Conveniency, leaning hgainst a Post, drefs’d up in White, as if ffie had been

been going to beg a sweet heart from the gauoms S it being a dark Night, her Lewd Garment appear’d fb wonderfully bright, that I could not well tel] whether She was a Living Mortal, or Some’intangible Hobgoblin; To satisfy my Curioufity, I ftep’d Closer, and soon found by my feeling he was Flesh and Blood, and fit for any Humane Excereife a Man could put her to. Prithee, sweat heart, laid I, what s the meaning thou art standing in’ this Melancholy Posture, at this time of Night? Sir, says she, I am waiting for my Husband. What profession or Trade is your Good man. I farther ask’d her, that he tan have business abroad at this time of Night, and put his poc>r Wife to the trouble of waiting for hint in the Cold, at fb unfeafbnable an Hour. Sir, reply’d She, if you must know his Profession, he belongs to the Law. What! says, I Sure he is not an Attorney? No Sir A Solicitor then I suppose. Noi Gad take me, said I, now I be., lieve I Shall hit it; i’ll warrant he has the Honour to be a Bayliff.^* No I was yet out of my guess;; then said I, he must be a Counsellor which is almost the Top of the Law; or a Bai fist

liffs Follower, which attends the very Rump of it. No Sir, laid She, he is not a Bailiffs Follower yet; but I hope in a little time he will be, for he has been an alsftant to one this four Years; and though I lay it, he is look’d upon to be as honest a Man as any of the whole Fraternity. And pray, Forlboth, laid I, what business may he be upon at this time of Night. I fuppole breaking open a Houle or stripping of drunken Gentlemen of their Hats and Wigs, as they are reeling home to their Lodgings, and lb you stand ready here to Carry off the Booty that he may go upon a fresh Enterprise. In Answer to which ibe rcply’d very Scornfully; I would how you to know, Sir, although we are poor we are honest, and to tell you the truth on’t, there being but little Business stirring this War time, my Husband, like a lawful Man picks up a penny now and then by assisting of the Night Men; and having forgot to put his Brandy Bottle in his pocket, I stay here to give it him as he goes by with the Cart, or the stench of the Vault, poor Man, will be enough to stifle him. But in Grace of God, as loon as the Fleet comes home from

from Spain, he does not question getting a more cleanly Livelyhood by following his old Profestion. Madam, Good Night to you, laid I; I with you a good Stomach to your Odoriferous Bedfellow; and thus I parted with her, but could not forbear Smiling to think what wonderful hopes they had from the Return of the Fleet, as if most of the Debtors in the Nation were gone in quest of the Spamfh Fiota^ and refolv’d not to return till they had got enough stiver to stop the Mouths of their Creditors. 0) I am apt to think, now 1 have fiif stciently tir’d your patience and cannot but fancy, I have behav’d my self very much like a Talkative > Gostjp^ who when fly comes first into her Neighbours House, talks of nothing but her Going, and Seems very unwilling to be perswaded to tarry, till at last, by one Story bringing in Another, She falls into a Tittle Tattle, and quite forgetting what She before Said, lengthens her Hasty Minutes into tedious Hours, not knowing when tp rise from her Seat, or draw her impertinent Talk to a Concluston. So I told you an hour since, I had but little more to say to youv I . / you, and yet have drill’d you on with a ctinterb»ry Tale, till I fear, I have quite founder’d your Intellects, and made your Faculties as dull as if’ in a Rainy day amongst a Thin congr^a tion in a Country Church, you had heard an old blind Paribn preach an Extempore Sermon Two hours by the Clock, and the extremity of the Weather would not give you leave to east yourself of the penance; yet hope your Goodness will he Such as to forgive this trouble from your assured Friend, DM; ; • ‘ • ■ ‘ • • • \

f A Letter from a young Officer at vigoj to his Friend at London. W N \ ‘ / S I !^, % AS fortune old have it, I have now Such a Banquet of News to entertain yois with, that there is northeast ter t hiltiffs iffef Novctty in the ti whoti

whole Town, bm: what will be glad to pick up Such straps of it as your distretion Slmll thiok fit to shatter a inongil: the Listening Crowd, but before you sit down to the Feast, I fancy it wonk be unnecessary to give your Stomach a whet, lest you should fall to but wdtli an indifferent Appetite; Therefore I think it proper to tell you II st, it is Great News, Good News, ‘ Glorious News,, and the Best on’t is, it is true too, and that I reckon is as great a Rarity to find in engund^ as Fat Beefs in Scotland or a Rich yeo rnan io Wales, Should I fall too hastily upon the Matter, I know not, but like a Woman over a dead Husband, your excels of Joy, may fling you into Tears, and Cause you to weep Nature into a disorder; therefore I would adyist you to prepare, and arm your self with as much Restlu ‘non, as if you were Just leaping into Bed to a Beautiful Woman, Whom you would have half bang’d your stlf to have enjoy’d before your admittance; nay to have had but Finger Coned: with her harmonious : For I must needs tell you, it is Such sur prifing, Amazing, wonderful stupendi ous

ous News, that rather than it fhoiilcl be as false as now it is infallible, we would have fed Spamfh Mackeril with our Carcasses, and never have liv’d to have come home without doing this mighty Exploit, So worthy of being canvas*d, cuff’d about, and applauded in every Sober coffeehouse Through her Majesties dominions. By this time I liippofe you are troubled with a more uneaiy Itch than a Scotch Pedlar, and are as Sharp let after the happy Tidings I have to impart to you as ever was buxom Widow for. the vigorous Embraces of a Second Husband, therefore I will keep you, no longer in fuspence, but like a Cunning Harlot, let you slip into the Secret, now I have rais’d your Appetite. ‘You must know after we had done i&un’frking at St. Maries, where every Beau had replenish’d his Sniifn Box with Right Spanifffj whilst those that had more Cunning took care to line their Pockets with a more valuable Commodity, and whilst the Common Crowd of Heroic Clodskuls were drinking Healths to their engufjj Whores in Spaniflj Sherry, their Wiser Leaders were tapping full Chests Meo s xtco

xico and Peru., in order to improve their Fortunes out of the Spoils of the Enemy; Thus when Some had made themselves drunk, others made them islves rich, and every Soldier that was Landed had met with either Plunder for the Belly or elfe for the Pocket; we were Commanded by our supe riour Officers to reimbark, and finding it but an impradicable. Adventure to attack Cadiz, by Sea, and having little p.^ospect of flicceeding by Land, we a bandon d all thoughts of endeavouring to do by force, what we had hopes of effecting by fair Means, till we found ourselves very much deceiv’d in our groundless Expectancy, So weigh’d Anchor, hoisted up Sail, and made the best of our Way as we thought horn wards, biic meeting with Intellii gence tlrat Monsteur Chateaurenaud., with a Squadron of French Men of War, and the. Spamjh Plot a, were arriv’d at Vigo; upon the Reception of the Joyful News, a Councel of Flag Officers were call’d on board the Admiral, who very Speedily determin’d the utter destruction of the Plate Fleet with all their Cowardly French Convoys and adherents, when this Gallani: Refo. # Rcfblution was dispers’d thro’ our Fleet with all the orders that were necessary to he obferv’d, in fb Noble an peditionj Such a General Huzza was bellow’d thro’ the Navy, both by the Seamen and the Soldiers to expreis their Gladness, that at Hockley io the Hole, when a young Puppy Fivos the Old Game Ball, even then a parrallel Shout was never heard at the bear garden’, thofemen that had it, Run now to their Brandy Bottles, and Swore by a dozen hearty go downs every One would have his Weight in Silver, or he would fall a Sacrifice to the Crabs that Crawl at the bottom of the o cean; fb universal a Joy was legible in every man’s Countenance, as if Frovi» dence before the Action bad given them Assurance of Siiccefs, and that every Seaman was well satisfied he Should live to see old Wapnwg once more, and there to Spend amongst Sat Punch gutted’bawds, homely Whores and blind Alehouses, the pleasing Fruirsof his hazardouslabour, a Tar Seeking after nothing further on Shore to comp!eat his happiness, than a Buxom Strum per, ‘a Sneaker of Punch, and a merry Fiddle, that he may whore, dance and be O 3 drunk

drunk in one and the same Room without Changing his Company. Thus we cheerfully fail’d forward under a Brisk Gale, till we came within gonshot of the Town of V’igqy who by reafcn of the haziness of the wea t^ier, were unable’ to dishoyer us till ws were just upon em, and then their ‘ Guns Spit Fire, and kept Such a Roaring at us, that the very Noifewas enough to have made a Coward leap over board and hice his head under water, rather than endure to have his Ears terrify’d with iucli darigcreus Claps of dreadful Thunder; Yet we’ past’d by the Angry Town with as little regard as if our Rtogiify Carcafies had been Proof against Spamjh Artillery; or as if they only fir’d their Cannon out of a Compleraenr, and never designed to hurt u3 • Sailing forward till we came within four Miles of rodendeuo, where the whole Fleet drop’d Anchor, to give the General oiti®ers time to Consult what were the best raeasures of proceeding, now we were fb near the Booty we had Such wonderful hope? of getting into our poffestion, whilst the Seamen had recourse to their Spi; lit of Hogwasti, and Qualified both Soul

Soul and Body with an enlivening Dram for any notable Enterprise, though never fb desperate thro’the Wistiom of our Chief Commanders, it was advis ediy thought fit to detach fifteen of our English Ships, and Ten of the Dutch out of the line of Battle, with all those terrible Emblems of the Ge,, Conflagration the fireoiips, and to send them in upon the Enemies Plate Fleet, and the French Men of War, There to use their Endeavours, like true English Desperadoes,, • take or destroy all they could overpower, and leave the rest to the Management of those who fhonld corhe after, which were our Great Ships, if there stiould be any Occasion;; all the Flag Officers to give greater Life and Spit it ro the Action, went on board of the detached Ships, and nothing was heard among the Seamen and Soldiers, but Hey boys for a Capful of Cobs or a Wooden Leg, Now Jack sparjard^ have a care of yourmustachoes,! can but laugh says another, to think how Sober John in his Gioke will run away from his Gravity, when he Sees a fireship on board of him, Tom, Tom, fiys another, how do you intend to disposh of O 4 your

yolir arse, if your Head Should be shot off! Blood, reply’s the other, you raay give it a Spamfi Captain to make a Snustj Box on. I have a strong san cy, says a Jolly Seaman, though we are come out but poor Sailors, we shall return home as Rich as Princes; May hap it may be So, says his Mess Mate; but if it Should, prithee, what shall we do with our Money when we come into enguna ^ Do with it, replys the former, why, we will buy Brandy ENOUGH to make the whole Thames into Punch, and for fear we should want Tobacco, we’ll engross the whole Cargo of the Virginia Fleet, and when we have funk’d out our Weed and drank off our Liquor, then we’h come again to Vigo, and knock the Spaniards pn the head for more money. With Such sort of Dialogues, the Seamen made themselves merry. Showing no more Signs of Fear or aprehen fion of danger than if every Man had Shook off the flesh, together with the impresiions of Nature, and was already enter’d into his Immortality, which nothing could divest him of. The Great and Generous Duke of Ormendy according to the Refblution of

of the General Officers in a Couofel held on board the Admiral overnight, Landed the next Morning with -2000 Such invincible true etngujh Hanibals, that had an Army of Goliahs stood in their way, they v/oold have pick’d their Teeth with their bayonetsymd have made the Gygantick Loobies stretch’d their Legs and straddpd over Mountains to have efcap’d their Fury. They were all obferv’d to leap upon the Shore with Such undaunted Willing? nefs, as if every Soldier would rather Choose to have his Bones bury’d in an Enemies Country, than to have return’d into his own without performing Some Remarkable piece of Service to her Majesties Honour, Eng Unds Good, and his own Credit. Their Landing by the Extraordinary Management of his Grace the Duke of Ormond was Effected with that admirable Expedition, that had So many Algter Slaves been brought into their own native Country, to which they had been Strangers feaven Years, they could not have quitted their ‘Ships more Speedily, or have pursued the Shore more eagerly than the whole force that was Landed did the Gloria ous

ous Enterprise they were appointed to engage in : For as (bon as they had got footing upon Terra Firma, The Lord Shamon, by the Command of his Grace the Duke, led the Grana diers to the Sort that guarded the Entrance of the Harbour, who at one Resolute push, made themselves Masters of the Enemies Batteries; Upon the lost of which, the Faint hearted spamar^s in great Confusion, retir’d, for their better Security, into an old Castle, flying from the Fury of our Granadiers, like fb many Cowardly Sheep terrify’d with the Siglii of feme approaching Woolf, whole Ravenous Looks threaten’d nothing < but Destruction: Whist our undaunt ^ • Soldiery were thus bufy’d upon the Landj our Admiral weigh’d Anchor, forming the Squadron detach’d for this Service, into a Lins; and after a » Calni, which for a few Hours retarded their Expedition, a freoi and fortunate Gale Springing up, they made a home Push in a Breast, in order to break the Boom and force their Pastage into the Harbour of roiendello^ where mon steur Qhateaurenaut, with a Squadron of Frensb Men of War and the spam{h Plot a were Riding, as they thought, in

in unquestionable Safety; But Vice Admiral Hohfon^ to his Eternal Glory, broke thro’ the Boom at once, the rest, both Dutch and Englifit sticking by the way, till with admirable Dexterity they hew’d their Passage in upon the Enemy, and in less than an Hours time, had done stich wonderfulexecut?on and putfb many Floating Castles in a Flame, that the Dreadful Sight Icokcl as Terrible to the Fremh and Spamards as if ‘ ^ \ the Universe had struck Fire acd that

*■ the General Conflagration was jolt Kindled *, Our Mercy to dieir Ssaimen, tho’ Enemiesj was as great as our sue cestful Attempts upon their Shipping, for all the time we were Burning the latter, we were equally Industrious in Saving the former from Drowning, who, to stiun the Rage of Fire, leap’d Headlong into the Water, and happily Escaped the Fury of the Flames, by trusting their Lives with a more Merciful Element. Whilst the Detachment of our Fleet were thus desperately Em ploy’d in Taking and Destroying the Enemies Ships and Galleons in their Harbour, our Forces by Land, through the Wisdom and Conduct of his Grace the Puke of, Ormond had made So Sue * cefsful

cefsful a Progress as to make themselves Masters of the Old Gastle, though Defended by ^00 Marines, 5® spa^urdfy and 40 Guns, and were march’d up to rodendeuo^ joyn’d with a Party oi Dutch, where tis reasonably conjectur’d the Soldiers had a large Opportunity of making good use of their Time, and furnishing their snap facks with the welcome Product of Peru and Mexico i, the Seamen at the lame time Boarding the Galleons, were happily Rewarding the Toils and Dangers they had Run through, out of the Chests of fheir Enemies, where they found plenty of that Wefi Indian Commodity that will render them extremely Welcome to their wa/tping Landladies. In a few Hours Time we had finish’d \ our Success both by Sea and Land, with the Loss of but very few Men, and without the Miscarriage of one Ship in the whole Action, Taking and Destroying I $ Sail of French Men of War, with 22 Sail of other vestels, 17 of which were Spanifl? Galleons, most of them fuppofca to be very Richly la dei!.

Our Land Forces with their Plunder, are just now reembarking, and in a few Hours time we ball tet Sail for our Native Country engund, where we hope after fo Glorious an Enterprise, to meet with a Joyful Reception, and that our distenting Country Men will now Scorn to Relapse into their old Ingratitude, and Ascribe the Honour of this Great Design, and Successful Undertaking to the Living Conduct of their Dead Hero, but give alone the Glory of this Fortunate Project, under Heaven, to the Queen, who is by God admitted to the Throne, as a Peculiar Blessing to Her People. Which is all at present, from Tour Friends

\ jaumhle servant t — To e jtlir direiiyour Letter to me /■ Board Her male ftys Ship the Britan niav

9 t An Anfaoer from a Gentleman in London, to a Letter from Vigo. f - t ‘ 9 lhis) And the Three Preceding Letters By Sir C — - S — e t I DEA before I Received ydur Welcome p Letter, every Steeple Oracle had proclaim’d the Joyful News of your Success, and we had made the Sky Blush with innumerable Bonfires; not a Coffeehouse Politician but has almost ^ • brought himself into a consumption by fatiguing his Lungs in rightly can vaffing the Matter; The whole Town was Deafned with the Mobs Huzza sand the Nonconforming Jacobites look’d as Pale at the Surprise, as the Whigs did at the Death of their late Benefactor; the Church Loyalists exprefs’d their Joy for tbs Good Tidings iri Re’

Reviving Bumpers, and gave, like Faithful Subjects, the Honour of the Action to the Wisdom of Her most Successful Majesty; but the fpightful thin jaw’d Anti hereditarians, as you seem to suspect, Ascribe the whole Design and the happy Consequence thereof, to the Forcast and Wifdonii of their f defunctpatriotjand endeavour even with their Ninny Broth to Ravish the Throne of its just Honour, to Sweeten the Memory of that Subteranian Greatness, whole Surviving Fame hss no manner of Title to the Immortal Glory of fb Great an Action. Porters, Cobblers, Journeymen Tailors, dt. lead but weary Lives since the happy News of your Great suc cefs, for their Tongue teasing Harlots, and more Implacable Wives, are fb deeply Affected with the Thoughts of your Rich Plunder, that tho’ they were ready to hide their Husbands and Gallants under their Petticoats ip the time of a Press, yet hearing now that both the Fleet and Army wallow in Gold and Silver like inittun Miners, they are fb terrify’d with the thoughts of every Tolerable Oyster Wench and Was mg Strumpets

pets Finery, when the Seamen and Soldiers are come hoirie with their Booty, that they lead their Cowardly Drudges worst Lives, for not en tring themstlves upon the same Expedition, than if they were to be kept from Sleeping after a hard Days la hour by hot Pinchers and a consort of Cat calls i Every Tubman or Labourer, if he owes the Chandler but Nine Pence, is Saluted by his Bundle of pue, when he comes home from Work, with Tonne Lazy Rogue, you Cowardly liangdogy if you had gone to V igo, and have Served your Queen, God Biefs Hety you might have made a Man of your self and have brought Home Money enough to have Paid everybody their own, and have Maintain d your Wife like a Lady, and not have lain Hulking at Home in a Chimny Corner and scarce get Money enough to buy Bread to that Cheese which your yoor Wife is sore d to Wash and Scower for \ Egad, if they go again next Tear, thou halt either Trooy along with em then, or By my Souly PM lead thee such a Life at Home that thou hadb better be Nine Mile un^ / tier Cromti. ‘Thus

Thus do the poor Wives in every Hut or Hovel, So tease their faintdieait cd Bedfellows, who fculked and hist themselves from their Last Years % Service fearful of fbine desperate eo gagenient, that Should the Government next Summer require an Hundred Thoufend Men to take the Grand Seignior by the Beardj or the Chrifiian Turk by his Mustachioes^ they need not want them at a Short Warning; The Beaus at all Ends of the Town, to fexprefs theit Gratitude as wen as Satisfaction in the Joyful Success of Her Majesties Arms this Summer have quite laid aside Brazile, Amber, and Orangery, and in memory of your great Action, will furnish their Boxel with no other than Vigo Snuff; inforriuchj that if a Gentleman through Inadvertency Should happen to say, He takes any other than p\zmspani[hi amongst these Nice Men of Honour, he would certainly be fuspected as an Enemy to the Government. Not a Coffee C housh about Town but what has been forc’d to new Christen their Tea and Coffee, to oblige their loy^r al Customers; and no Sooner does a P Fop

Fop make his Entrance, with acrumpi led Hat squeez’d under his Left Arm, blit the c^estion is put by the yo mane of the Black Broth; A Dish of Vigo Tea, or St. Marias Coffee Sir; A Glass of Right Spamflj Brandy; a Dram of Rotiertdello Usquebaugh, or what would you please to have Sir. The Btllmgfgate Flat caps, Cry Vigo Oysters about Streets ^ and the White friars Ballad singers bawll nothing at Shoe lane Enti, and the Porters Block in Smithjieldf but England’s happinefsf ora new Copy of ver/es upon the Taking of the Plate fleet ^ Set to an Excellent New Vigo Tune, The very Parsons in their Pulpits san ctifie the great Sqccefs, and Preach’ up nothing but the how wonderful Providence of Heaven more particularly fhew’d it self in fb Glorious an Action. Vigo, instead of Religion, is become the Universal Talk of every Drunken Society, nay, the very Subject of every Gostips Tittle tattle; in ibmuch that it is brought forth afresh at every Womans Labour, and is baptiz’d a new at every child’s Christning. The old Peripateticks in Greys inn Wdks^ wrap’d up in De’von (hire p . a

shire Kerfies, and Fortified with Bear skin Muffs against the North vwd, make three Meals a Day of ycur Exploit, and Swear by the Red Note of Oliver Cromwell a braver Action has not been perform’d flnce King Jameds Abdication. Every Porter at the Corner of a Street, as he plays Slap at the Pouch to warm his Fingers, cries our. wheres the French now Boys; and every cobler’s Magpie is Taught already instead of Whads a Clocks to cry Vigo Vigo. it’s every Poetasters Theme, and every Bookteller s Ambition to Print upon \ for nothing takes about Town but a Congratulation of your, Success, *, News Paper tells the Tale with all cite Advantages imaginable; and the very Gazette like a Country parson, has dwelled upon one Text thete Two. Months. Mr. Ed. J — of thq Savoy was fb mighty Joyful at the Reception of this Good News, that, like a, Fond Author he could not forbear telling in a Penny Preface overnight what fhou’d come after in his News book next Day. Your mighty Success has put the Rabble upon an Expectancy of haviiig Spadifi Royals P 2 as

have brought Home the Gdleom, as Dutch Skillings were at the beginning of the late Revolution; and that you have taken Riches enough to Pay all the Nations Debts, Contracted in th late Reign, leaving enough, to pareto rev/aid the Merits of those concern dv without a Pension from the Goveromeiit; Those Heroes I affure you, who have been engaged in this s^amjh Expedition, will be as much respected as heretofore were the Knights ^ of Jerufalemi and you will have the Honour to be called Vigcneers^ to distinguish you from the common Herd. The Ladies of the Town are very, tkuch enliven’d with the happy News of your Prosperity in this Noble Undertaking, and as a Token of their Reservedness to oblige you at your Landing, upon the first Intelligence of your good Fortune, they raised the Price of their Favours, from ^ Shilling to Half a Crown , fb that Fornication with anything above an Oyste^ Wench, is grown almost as dear as Prench Claret. thocharingcrofs zvc2ls full at your Good Fortune, as if youf wonderful

ad been owing to their Coffee House Conduct, and flutter about every News Paper, as Soon aspublifhd, like So many Bats about a Torch at Midnight; every Man of Honour that lives within the flnell of the Horse Guard, takes an Opportunity of Signalising his own Couraige, in Commending of yours, and expresses his hearty Sorrow wherever he comes, that he was not present in the Action, that he might have fhard in the Reputation of Ib Glorious a Deed; not a foppish Gladiator among all the Tribe of Bravadoes, but what lays his Hand on his Sword when you talk of Vigo bites his Thumb Nail in a Passion, and Curses his Stars that lb Gallant an Adventure Should be perform’d without him; all the Apothecaries in Town are mightily overjoy’d at your Enterprise, because they expect when you have brought home the Galleons, that cheon^eal and s^anifif^flies will be as Cheap as Lignum Vit Shavings in a Turners Shop, upon the hopes of which, they are already grown fb Prodigal of their Canthorides, that they Blister everybody they come near; butlbme lay the College of Phyflei ans,

ans, in spite to the Fraternity of Clyster Mongers, design to engross the whole Cargo into their own Hands, for the use of their Dispensary. The Bankers in lombard^fireety and the Silverftniths in Fofier - Uncy expect Great Penny worths of the Seamen upon the coming in of the Fleet, and cannot be persuaded but that every Chest and Snapiack will come home Loaded with Spmtjh Money. The very Name of is To univerially taken Notice of, itiat a Grafier, about a Week since, was robb’d upon the Road of a Hundred Guineas, and the Highway men were So Civil to tell him, if he met with more of the Gang, he might pafs without farther Molestation by saying the Word for the Night was yitgo. The Man at the Ship Tavern at Cbelfeay destgns to Write under his Sign, This is the spslniih Galleon ^ and does not question but the next Summer he Shall; get an Estate by selling of Sherry, hoping to persuade Some Fools into a Bslief that the Ship behind his House, isone of the Plate Fleet that was brought home to England In Short, the whole Kingdom is So strangely infatuated with this fide Blow, which you

you have given the Freftch and Sfam^ ardsj that it is verily believ’d in a little time, That all the Loyal Beaus, in Memory of this Action, will wear it Woven in their Hatbands, as th wulimitt Fops in the late Reign did the Association \ for the Rabble of the Town, they are overjoy’d even to a Madness, and as a (ingle Instance of one Fellows Frenzy, Poor Curley^ Mw lay Pussy has left off his Pastry Ware, and Runs evfery Day to fvapptp/g to Gry Vigo Dumplins. Which is all the News at present, from Tour jjjured Friefjdy ♦ And Humble Servant I t T. H. / $ N / FINIS.

I The following Answer having been by Mi [lake Omitted the Reader is De sir d tjo Pardon the Errors of the prin tery and likewise what shall be found in the. two Letters Annexed to it. e. •. ^ 4 ‘ * The scribe’s Answer. m I WI— — — » I I miwmut! — n ■im mm nn niwiiiniiim ■■■■ mrnmi i i ^ By the same Hand; \ ^ • pair and Softly, Friend John, what occasion for this hurry of Complaints? I thought myself well Posted for the Advantage of the Common Caufcj and in every one’s Opinion, Capable of doing more Service to the Party where I am, than if I handled my pen never So dextrousty with you in England. Hold your Tongue, I say, the People in your Part of the World begin to know me and it s my bust nefs to Restde where they do not, that I may bring Matters to bear with the more ease, and accomplish my Destgns in writing my self a Domefii ‘CIS

cis to rhofe that are call id to the suc ceffion by Act of Parliament. We had a Report, a day or two Since, that Her Majesty was with Child again, and its beyond Defeription to tell you what an Alteration it made in feme Peoples Countenances here at Court; Such a Courtier drop’d all his Hopes at the very mention of it, and bad Adieu to the Thoughts of an English Peerage for ever; This Favourite look’d as if he bad been Thunder I struck, and Domitte miserere mjlri vj2^s as visible in his Face as ever it appear’d in mine at the Censure of the Five Gentlemen, and their Commitment to the Gate Ploufe* That German Count, who must be a Noble Man, forscoth, without a Foot of Land, and who had before the News came, nothing in his Head but Meddows of Great Britain and Ireland and large Tracts of flourislring Acres in the most Fruitful Counties belonging to ’em, fancy’d to himself that he star’d Famine in the Face, and must have Hunger and Thirst for his Familiar Acquaint tance. Le Valet / Angle ter re was immediately dismifs’d, and not a Man breath \ ] ing amongst: em but flung away his mttgli(h hora book in the twinckling of an Eye, if they had been Masters of no Language at all, ’twas enough for ^ theservants tlsey haclthoughts of keeping for the future, or were able to find Employ for; and the Multitude of Malecontentsthat had stocked hitherto make their Court, began to think of retiring to the protesfant Clintons, and paying a Vistt to the Lake St. £c man* You may Judge I was not behind hand with the foremost of them, and prepar’d with the rest of my, Brethren, Her majesty’s most tlnduti full Subjects, to leave the Place of our present Abode. Said I to my feist ‘John thou art one of the unluckiest Dogs now Breathing, and whatever Side thou adher’st to, is always that of the Unfortunate. I could almost perswade my Seif to turn Church of England Man this very Moment, in hopes that it will Ruin that Interest, notvhonefl titmoatsf of Everlasting Memory, has Shown me thi way, and if he has brought an e ternal disgrace upon that Religion by wearing the Habit that belong’d to it, without all manner of question I must, come

come up to bis Character in Scandal, by making Profession of it’s Principles which are the very eftentials of it. When in comes a Courier with the welcome Notice that it was a false a larm, and that there was nothing at all in the Report. That the Queen indeed was well in Health, but the Prince her cohsbrt was as good as given over by his Physicians, which would in all Probability give a mighty Shock to Her Majesty’s Constitution, whole Life, by her Conjugal Affection to him, was almost bound up in His. Nay then, thought I, Matters still go well enough of our Side, and the Nobility may continue to run in Debt for their Equipage, Their younger Brothers without any Danger of losing the Intents of it, rnay learn ^ngltjh again, and their Tutors Trust origin hopes of Payment in their own Country Coin, when the Joyful Day Shall come in which one of the Electoral Family Should fill th Throne of Great Britam* But notwithstanding this, I had my Fears still, and it was not beyond a possibility but his Royal Highnels might Recover again; While there is Life there is lipfes^ fiiys the Eftglijb, Pjjpverb

and I was fb Zealous for the Cause that I have So deeplyembark’d in, I could have even wilh’d that his Pulse / had no more Motion than theii; s that keep their Royal Residences amongst the Tornbs at My Fears were but too just, for the next News we had from your Parcs, brought us his unexpected Recovery, and dasts’d our former Joys with a mixture of Bitter sadner We are told here that his Royal Highness is, much better than for many years past, that his Looks are more lively and vigorous than ever, that his Appetite is come to him again, and that both Houses of Parliament have Congratulated her Majesty on this great occast on. That her Majesty continued to look like her self, full of Majesty and sweetness, that file had wholly parted with Sorrows for her Dear Princes Sickness, and in all Appearance, the Kingdoms govern’d by her, would have a lasting Enjoyment of Blestings under her Auspicious Reign, and the Protection of his Royal Highness; that ‘ her Majesty would for many years be of an Age yet to bear Children, and the Prince in a Condition of Health to Bless thp Nation with em

Confider Man of Imprefftonj what tn Influence fiich Afflicting Ideas had upon my Spirits; I arh but Skin and Bones at the besti but I grew a mere Skeleton at the very Rehearsal of these Melancholy Tidings: I no more thought of Preferment now chan of being Clerk of the Closet,, qi^en Am, or Lord High Admiralin the Rpom of Prince George; and all the glorious Conceptions I had entertain’d of the Downfall of Episcopacy,, making patiis Church a Livery Stable for Horses, vanish’d in an instant. However it is our bufiness to make the Best of a bad Market, and yours that are within the Reach of the Laws of engunk, to congratulate her Majesty after the Example of her Parliament on this Lanientable Occaston. Tis but playing the old Game again, and Addressing Her ( as our Party did her Father) on an Occaston which they were heartily fbrry for. Jack Tut chin has Shown you the Way, and I cannot instance in a more Hopeful Precedent for your Imitation. Now L am Speaking of our old Acquaintance Jacky stippofe you put [the Union between Scotjan^ and England in

in his Head, and advis’d him to Bellow forth in fbme of his next ■ observators against the Re establifhing of Bishops in that Ancient Kingdom. What if those Gentlemen in White and Black had a Right to ofbciate there as Such; from its very Original, and the Kirk was never heard of there almost, before the Reign of James the Sixth; He has Impudence enough to prove the Legality of their Expulsion down to adam and the Antiquity of our dearly Beloved Faction, to be as far off as the Chinese hold the Doctrines of Confutim’, and would be very Serviceable to the Party, could he be persuaded to leave off the Pursuit of his Friends at the Victualling Office, and finding Fault with the Commissioners of the Navy, and the irregular Practises in the High Court of Admiralty, and give Heart to the Party by fetcing the Scotch and Engltfh together by the Ears, and advising the First not to give way to the least Demands of the latter. This would do fbmething’ indeed and increase the high Esteem, most Perfbns in this Country show for that author’s Writings. I begin almost to be

be Jealous of him, and Afraid that upon another Revolution he should have a better Post than iny self, he stands up fb gloriously in Defence of our Dissenting Brethren. Some People a amongst us here, are Transtating those Admirable Pieces into the Language. A Lutheran of Quality a mong us here, has feiit for me to b teach him Englijhi on purpose to Read em, and every Man that has the least Infight into the Public Occurrences, dwells upon the Name of the Sieur ‘Tutchm* As for my Part, you need not doubt my Astiduity, to bring Matters again to their former Crisis. Bernard Lintot Shall not want Copies while he continues his Value for me, by not letting me want Money. ‘ In the mean time, fet all Hands at work amonst you to carry on the Good Old Cause, and Show that you deserve Preferment in a Change of Government, from the Diligence you make use of to bring i^a bout. Old tvi». Sure has fbme Moisture left in his Pen yet, 2sia. rid^ath h.2s not made Sale of every Ounce or phl^m he is Master of. He hase by this time certainly

certainly dropped his Quarrel with the Duke of Anjou and has leisure enough if the Flymg Pofi does not coo much Exercise his Invefttiofi^ to lall soul oa the present eftablioiraent. I need not advish you to be Cautious how you difposh of their Works, you have Smarted for Publications once, and without doubt have Such a Veneration \ for that Earthly Tabernacle of yours, as not to be over willing to change it for one that is in the fense of the Brethren call’d Heavenly. As for your Poetical Present, you may tell the Author of it, if any one among your Acquaintance knows him, that I have brought the Same Forehead with me to the Court oti Hannover that did me So much Service in London • and tho’ I could pay him in his own Coin, witness my Renowned Poem call’d Cltto and my other Celebrated Pieces in Verse’ ‘ Shall endeavour to return Jfis Corapli. ment after the Fashion of this coun tryj which is to do what Miichief I can to him and his Party in Prose. And fbi bid thee Farewell, honci\ John and ain Thiney and thy Repibltcan Partys aj[ht d Friends John t~d. , Gostip.

A Gollip Murray the City Projector, to Intiuifitive Love - News in the Country. « By 5? — D. Esq; ’tf^ls a Sign of good Breeding to be Communicative, and I would as Soon cease to be number’d among the Living, as among thole that are either Talking or Writing. There is Something beyond a common Pleasure in those excellent Offices, and Handing down Occurrences from one Peribn to another, is the most Agreeable thing in the World. My Friends in the late Reign being most of ’em out of Place in this, I have left off standing Sentinel at the Parliament house Door, and holding People by the Ears ( that led me by the nofevin the Ln, with Stories of making good Deficiencies of Funds,

cffor a Place of as much Profic every, whit to me, which is that of a re tainer to a Coffeehouse, an Indefatigable Tale Bsarer, and Porter in Ordinary to all the News Writers in Town. Nothing goes amiss to me, and as I rim at all, So I burden my Memory. wlih everything I hear, whether Matters of fbme Moment or none. Having told you my Trade, ir is but na tural for you to expect a Cast of my Office. To the Bufinest in Hand then, there’s not a Dust of Tobacco in Town, but what bears the Name of Right Snuff; and one single Galleon is Reported to have brought home more Pigs of Silver, than the whok Spamjh Plate Fleet had in it. I was afraid at first, there would have been no occasion for Ways and Means to Raise more Money, and that Men of my Business would be wholly fet Aside, but it teems things go quite otherwite, and the Four Shillings in the P – TIS likely to Pais, notwithstanding my Fears to the Contrary. ‘ Even those that were Some Hundred Leagues distant have got Plunder by means of that Glorious Action, and the vqyy Swcetners, Guinea droppers, and 2 Sharpers k

Sharpers have made their Advantages by it. Fortfmouth zna Gosport have experienc’d if, and the Men of Dealy who are almost Capable of putting Tricks upon the Devil, have been Outwitted by it. Under the Disguise of being Sailors, they have.dut off false Money, Watches, Rings, and what not, and there was no need of Trying whether Gold or Silver bore the Touch, did those that offer’d ‘etnto Sale, af firm they came from Vigo, But thebufinefs at that Place has been fb rauchtaik’d of, and our News Papers fo mightily taken up with it, that it will not be improper to Divert you with other Subjects. For the State of Learning then, which must be a Novelty with you in the Country, since even the very Man that Writes the History of the Works of the Learned knows nothing of the Matter. Books are grown a mighty Drug, at the very time the fress is So much employ’d with ’em, and you no Sooner hear of the Death % ■ fan Eminent Divine, Lawyer ou Physician, but an Action comes after it, or an Advertisement in Print of the Fair Way with the Price in the first Leaf

Leaf fb little a Relish ha.^€ their Heirs for what was had in Esteem by their Ancestors. , Yet your Authors keep on working for the Grocers and Tobacconists, and White K — tithe Anti convocatiocist, though he is at the same time a Member of the lower house, surnishes ’em ai most every Week with Innumerable Rheams of Wall Paper; were you to see him stride the Street, you would take him (boner for a Fellow come from the Plough Tail, than an Arch deacon, or to read him in hismagisterial Style, imagine be was rather a Bishop than one of the Inferior Clergy, from his Arrogant Didacticks. Dr. Atterbury has no more occasion to stand in fear of him, for as much as I see, than of his Antagonist the Dean, with his Huge Unintelligible Folio, and the Judgement of the whole University in his Favour, will have a greater Influence with Men of Sen, than that of a (ingle A— — and a few of his diocesans in theirs, especially stnce the House of Commons have made a Resolution to stand by those whose Prerogatives that Author has So justly Asserted. I

As the Men of God are falling together by the Ears, So are the Men of Belial likewise, and the Divisions crept in a mong those that bear the Name of DP vttte, have alio their Influence on, them that bear die Name of Profhaney I mean the phjficum^ that for want of Diseases to Combat withl fall foul on one ano there. A certain Gentleman, I dont care if I give you his Name, one Dr. Pint, having lately fallen out with his Benefactors, and Shown a Piece of Gratitude,. to the Apothecaries, that is common to People that are Raised without Desert, by Exposing their Medicines, and making the World believe they were Guilty of Extortions, in a Book of his, that only for the Malice it abounds with, has born a Second Impression. Dr. jo feph Browff has taken up the Cudgels a gainst him, and made fiich a Reply to him, as will be Valued by the Judicious, while either good Sense, good Manners, or a good tile will have a Repute in the World. I cou’d wish the Doctors Fortune was equal to his Deserts, or that the Company, whom he has taken Pen in Hand to Vindicate, wouid give him due ibcouragement, that they may not lessen

lessen their Antagonists Ingratitude by their own, for its my Opinion, the Bookseller whom it’s Printed for, may Spare his Eighteen Pence for a Quart of Wine for the Author of the History of the Works of the Learned, though I understand that Gentleman takes it, as his due for a Line or two in Praish of any Book, and lam credibly inform’d he commended the History of England in two Volumes without Reading it, for the abovefaid Constderation. This Pen and Ink Duel, in all probability, will bring both Armies to a General Battle, and tho’ Dr. G — — • in his Difpenlary, has already given the Day to the Collegiate Mortars, it is not two to one but the Society in bucv Friars will sting a Bomb put of theirs, as far as those in Warwick lane^ stnce they are fb well provided with Ammunition and Artillery. New Plays fall from the Stage as thick as Hail, and half the Nation is running Mad after Poetry, A Snuff Box and a icrap of French and Latin lets you up fora Judge, and accompu ihes you for a confirm’d Critic. t’other Day, I went to see one that went by the Name of She wouldy and She 4 would

r\7ouldnop^ only for the Surprise that the Titletgave me. The Author (hold have done as the Dtitch Painters in amfier’ dam do by their Signs, in writing the Names of the Beasts they Reprefenc under them, as The Red Lion; 8rc. if he would have doe World know his mean ing This Play, however Tedious it was to Some People of s^’nfe, notwithstanding the Faults it abounds with, went off currently, and the Ladies because it was Calculated for their Meridian, and its Expressions was within their Sphere of Knowledge, cry’d it up and who the Devil but a Clown of a Beau would be lb hardy as to Contra ^ em?,?, give you a farther Specimen of the Taste that Audiences now in Fashion, have for Oramacick Performances, who but T — D — — stbould come upon the Stage Pother day, with his weuern Lass, and a Hundred Cork Nick Knacks and Whims to keep it from Sinking. The Play Bill for the Poet s Day, was as full of Merry Conceits, as a Quack doctor’s with the Names of dtfeafesf and answer’d Expectation to a Miracle, for he had a House as full as it could hold, and notwithstanding

ing the most Abominable Prologue that could be thought of to Welcome Home our Heroes from eunders and which those chat came from thence ought to have broken his Head for, he won the Day, and triumph’d over his Audiences Judgments and Pockets at the lame time. Whether it was out of Compassion, or Infirmity, no one knows the Audiences design, but I have oftert seen the puin Dealer zndth.q Committee Pieces of Inlpiration if compar’d ‘with his hungry Jejune Lines, without a Third Part of the Numbers that Crowded to % take a View of his web Country de formity* Were I a Justice of Peace in Somerjetfhhire^ I would — — But tho’ I am never weary of letting my Tongue or Pen run, perhaps you may, and how inexhaustible fbever my Stock may be, you may not be gifted with a Suitable Attention; wherefore I leave the Prosecution of other material Passages with us, till the return of the Post brings me Ibmething from you, and am Tour Friend to Set’yeyou^ cc, I Intfmfitive

V \ / love news’s Answer, I By another Hand. \ god a mercy, Mr. Tittle tattle Who could have thought of such an unexpected Change as thine is? When I was in London last, I left thee a down right Projector, a Thinking, Talking, Plodding Dog as any in England; but now it fecms thou hast alter’d thy way of Living, made an Escape from the Confines of Cogitation and fell into the Company of Disputants, Poets, Critics, and the rest of those that are in Quest of the like threadbare Accomplishments. I Protest, thou deferveft Commendation for it, and though a Man must be acquainted with Hunger and *thirfi that Converses with the Nine Muses or any thatbelongtoem, yet it must: needs be a more agreeable Occupation, then letting your Brains at work, wearing out your old Prize Cloak, which has been an

an humble Servant of yours, ever since the first Rize of the Penny post osrce, and hunting after Ways and Means for Great Men to run away with the Profits, that are the result of’em What, a god’s Name, will L — H do for the want of thee for the future? He has already Tasted the Sweets of thy Conversation, and the Circulation of Exchequer Bills, which Some wise acres in Being, Attribute to him, has been of no Small Consequence and Reputation to him. He may come in Play again, should he live till another Reign, for we can tell over the queen’s Money without him in this, and then you may Starve again, for all that I know, to Fatten him once more; In the mean time he cannot find fault with you for applying your felfto your present bufi nefs, and giving account of an Art Mr. P— — Ingenuity has made him Famous for. Now I am about Matters in Poetry, here is the Devil and all to do in our Farifb, between the Parfbn and his his Scabbed Flock. Honest Orthodox, as he calls himself, whilst he is bringing Innovations into the Church, stands up Tooth and Nail, for Tate and Bra dfs rt

dys new Version of the psalms, but thosh that are to fill up the Chorus, and pay their Respects to good King Davtd, lay about em like fb manyfuries indefenee old Hopkimznd Stermld. Who will get the better of it, will not be known, till the next Visitation, when the Bishop is to Judge of the Matter in dispute. In the meantime one of the Lord of the Manor s Sons, a young Academic, has taken the Liberty to give his Opinion of these Heroes in me tre, in their own way, and determin’d the conitoverfy in Favour of the and Jye Men, by the following epl gramme. The New Tranjlation Exploded In Hebrew Times when Ifraels Faith was strong Much was the Virtue of Poetic Song, s Evil Spirit david.s Harp obey’d, The Ktfig was easy whilst the Pfalmifi play’d.’ But now the Force of Poetry is chang’d, And david’s Sense from david.sfvords estrang’d, ‘ When Tate and Brady touch the Sacred Strings, The Ma dnefs feerns the pfalmijfst not the Kings. P So much for John Hopkins and Tom Sternold; now ‘ for fbme more Poetry on another Subject, and that is my Lord of R — Poor Man, we are told his lordship’s Grid Iron has had no greater Sum fallen through it than Tfpo Millions Sterling, the P — ’ takes him to Task: i’ll say that for him, and a Fig for him, the Nations Beagles have had a Scent of him ever since the 26th Year of King Charles the second’sreign, but never could get a View till the first of Queen Am’s; what they will do with him, the People in thesh Parts are very desirous to know, and the Generality among us, wish that he may be made an Example to deter others from the like Evil Practice, among the rest, the Author of the followingfable is one. \ ^ I The Pay matier genera. .^ A Certain Fox had Stole a Goose, And being hard purfu’d. Was forc’d to turn the Cackler loose, And take for Shelter to a Wood; Yet still the Country People ran. Swearing they’d Kill him evvy Man, And strait befate the Place Which Renard had for Refuge Chose, That he in Safety from his Foes Might hide his Roguish Face. Zwounds, cry’d the Felon, what you By following me So dost, fmean Can I be guilty of a Sin That have restor’d your Goose?? what you Seek for, I perceive, Then prithee Fellow give me leave > To

To Rest a while in Quiet, Your Neighbour has his own againi^ And iss ^ Favour I maintain, For me to quit fiich Dii. With that a ibumfkin iliade Reply, Saith Master, betwixt you and I, you’ve done the thing that’s Civil y By letting us regain the Theft, But fhou’d the Thief alive be left, Odzooks, ’twou’d be the Devil. Spare fiich as you? A very pretty Jest, you’ve stolen one Goose, but shall not r steal the rest. – – asiafefmtm quejiiond in bis Trufi^ Flings up his PI ace to prove he’s just, And thinks that he may Favours find, Because his Office he refignd; But Parliaments have other Thoughts And yet may search into his faultsy As they the Man, and not the Place Purfuey And give offending Sinners rvhat s their [due; As chelfea house is feiadfor ips Owner S Guilty And pays for Sums which huve that Mansion builk V Whether

Whether his Lordship will do like the Fox and Refund, I can’t tell, but every one knows there are thole in the World, that are thenations Godfathers, can force him to it. I am not for the Rigour of the Law, but with the Gentleman, that was for taking his Wife and Daughter into Custody: there’s Flesh, marry is there, and were they but half; sow icked as they are hand fom, they would make an Atonement, with me for thrice the Sum, and go a great way towards the discharge of an old dry withered carkass, that has been a Stranger to the Comfortsuf Matrimony for many years. From this Melancholy Subject, I must bring you to another, and that is on the Delay in Pasting the Bill to prevent Occafiond Conformity, God Almighty has once more put it into our Hands by her present majesty’s Accestion to the Throne, to Establish the Church of enguni inluch a Manner that the Gates of Hell Shall not prevail against it; but it seems the Pillars of it are not like thole of Solomons Temple, Capable of Suppporting it, and thole who Minister at its Altars are in the Number of its Enemies. I have Ibme Verses by me on, ‘ this -• , this Subje<^ likewise, under the Name of the Thirteen Pojlsy but they are too long to be Inferred in this Letter I could Oblige you alfb with Some Extempore Lines on the Pretended Heiress that hang’d Swenfden. Much good may it do the Foolifii Fellow at the Three Nuns if he has. Married her, he has no Nuns Flesh in hers, and it’s a Sign he has no Aversion to Butter d Bimsy if he can down with one that has born Twelve Times Soaking. Red Hair, squinteyes, and abloodguiltysoui, are very odd Recommendations, and had I been tq^jaattkc my Ciiulce,! would Ibonertiave taken her dtct^idihusbandh Balter^ than his Libidinous reiib^ that could, Triumph in the Arms of a Lover, at the very Minute, he that had Married her, her, and pleas^dh^x^ was under the hand of the Executioner for Frightening her. But Prolixity is the Devil, especially when the Subject is unpleasant, wherefore I releafeyou from the Fetters your nosehas upon it, and give you leave to pull off your Spectacles, by telling you that I am Tour Friend and Servant \ love«news* F 1 N I S.

Early Novels Digital Editions Rare eighteenth-century fiction

Letters from the living to the living

Editor’s note

Dedication

THE PREFACE.

REFORMATION.

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Early Novels Digital Editions
Rare eighteenth-century fiction